1st footnote [text] an open letter
Dear Mr. Mandrake:
There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.
This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that ( Read more... )
There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.
This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that ( Read more... )
who the fuck ii2 mandrake?
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Regrettably, Mr. Mandrake is a deplorable acquaintance of mine. 1
I don't suppose you've seen him? Not more than a child. Knee-high to a grasshopper and an ego the size of Big Ben?
1 - I use the term in the most insulting way. It's always good to clarify, because some sorts - myself included - take 'deplorable' as a compliment. I'd hate for him to think I was fond of him.
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why are you addiing extra note2?
*Because that's one annoying quirk.*
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Quite the educational tool, aren't they? I recognise that few have the dearth of experience that I so modestly possess. The notes exist to bring you up to speed, as it were.
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ii'm not 2ure mode2ty ii2 2omethiing you po22e22 at all.
what the hell ii2 a djiinii?
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Allow me to assure you that my modesty is both possessed and quite resilient. Five thousand years is a long time for it to toughen up and, like I, it has risen with style and grace to every task set before it.
And a djinni, my numerophiliatic friend, is nothing less than I. 2 Have you not heard of one before?
2 - To use myself as an introduction to the spirit class is, perhaps, cruel. There are so few djinni that equal me, after all. Prepare yourself, then, to be disappointed by other djinni you may encounter. Try to be kind - it's not their fault that they're not me.
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*Just looking at him tends to give one an idea of it, really. Also he's just gonna skip that bit about modesty and being 5,000 years old and whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.*
no, we diidn't have djiinii iin my uniiver2e and you're the only one here.
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Well, doesn't that make you the lucky one! Whatever you are and wherever we are.
3 - Devastating hand injury from when it was ravaged by a small, pink rabbit and the scribble is an unfortunate twitch; numerophilia, and the number 2 is indeed in the process of suing for slanderous references constantly made to it. A few examples of what could be a thousand reasons. They only get worse from here.
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*Cause those are kind of amusing, even if he's no idea what rabbits or suing are.*
you diidn't read the letter, diid you?
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[In short? Sure, but is he really expected to believe the letter?]
4 - They invariably forget to mention the spirits that were harmed in the attaining of said accomplishments. Given such blatant omissions, no spirit can be blamed for disbelieving human text. Who knows what they have neglected to say for the sake of making it sound good?
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*And you have completely lost him agian, good job!*
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As to the rest, mysterious commentator, I read the note, but cannot be expected to take it at face value. Humans like to lie and a letter is just one more medium in which to do it.
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I am actually of the opinion that this human is also a magician. Who else would be pompous enough to suggest he could re-weave the very fabric of worlds? Mark my text - there will be a thousand djinni summoned to do the job for him. That's how things go.
5 - Only humans equipped with very large dictionaries fall back on such language. They seem to think it makes them smarter. In truth, it just makes them heavier. Never try fleeing a hoard of foliots while carrying a dictionary-carrying magician - it never turns out well for the magician.
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Hardly! There are humans, magicians, and spirits. 6
Humans, however, are the most populous and djinni the most meritorious.
6 Within the classification of spirits, there are the five mainstays (imp, foliot, djinni, afrit, and marid). Within that, the humans claim to have identified thirteen-thousand-and-forty-six classes. There aren't nearly that many of course; it's a tradition to convince every magician that they've discovered at least one new class each summoning. I myself convinced Ivan the Malleable of six in one sitting merely by pointing out six different dust bunnies under his desk and claiming they were all different spirits in disguise.
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