1st footnote [text] an open letter
Dear Mr. Mandrake:
There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.
This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that unfortunately ironclad summoning and those meagre displays of skill that you displayed.
Still, what can you expect from a half-pint magician overflowing with ego after single-handedly saving the British government from certain annihilation? 2 I admit, I'm surprised that your head hasn't exploded yet from all the praise. Do be certain to record it for posterity when it does.
Admittedly, this beats a rosemary-lined tin at the bottom of the Thames. Did you know that small miracles are said to be the hallmark of a mediocre magician? Truly, your greatest achievement shall be managing to summon the immensity of my presence - and this I invite you to never try again.
The next time you decide to subject a spirit to your aspirations, might I suggest Faquarl? He's a good chap, sturdy in essence, and suited to your level. A step down in quality, certainly, but that just proves my point.
Most sincerely not yours,
[Have an X in place of a signature; names are bondage to spirits, so he'll not be freely handing it out just yet.]
1 - The worst, arguably, would be when Frederick Von Mundgeruch dismissed me straight into another magician's pentacle. That didn't work out too well for ol' Freddy. Turns out that this magician had a grudge against him and put me to work Detonating his secret castle, location known only to slaves and spirits, to rubble.
2 - Invariably, that is how it'll go down in the history books as written by the magicians. Between you, me, and anyone that'll listen? A kid never would have managed it without a certain all-powerful, self-effacing djinni on his side.
There is entirely too much form and substance here. Where's that blissful rest you promised? You'll give my essence an ulcer with all this existing you've subjected me to.
This is almost the most pathetic dismissal I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. 1 I must admit that I expected better of you after that unfortunately ironclad summoning and those meagre displays of skill that you displayed.
Still, what can you expect from a half-pint magician overflowing with ego after single-handedly saving the British government from certain annihilation? 2 I admit, I'm surprised that your head hasn't exploded yet from all the praise. Do be certain to record it for posterity when it does.
Admittedly, this beats a rosemary-lined tin at the bottom of the Thames. Did you know that small miracles are said to be the hallmark of a mediocre magician? Truly, your greatest achievement shall be managing to summon the immensity of my presence - and this I invite you to never try again.
The next time you decide to subject a spirit to your aspirations, might I suggest Faquarl? He's a good chap, sturdy in essence, and suited to your level. A step down in quality, certainly, but that just proves my point.
Most sincerely not yours,
[Have an X in place of a signature; names are bondage to spirits, so he'll not be freely handing it out just yet.]
1 - The worst, arguably, would be when Frederick Von Mundgeruch dismissed me straight into another magician's pentacle. That didn't work out too well for ol' Freddy. Turns out that this magician had a grudge against him and put me to work Detonating his secret castle, location known only to slaves and spirits, to rubble.
2 - Invariably, that is how it'll go down in the history books as written by the magicians. Between you, me, and anyone that'll listen? A kid never would have managed it without a certain all-powerful, self-effacing djinni on his side.