(no subject)
I've been really unhappy and just not good lately. always in a bad mood. even my family noticed and made comments. the same family that didn't see how depressed i was for a span of 3 years. i feel nauseous all the time, i feel like i weigh 500 pounds, i have headaches all the time, and just generally feel like shit.
i'm always tired. i find joy in nothing, no one.
i don't get what my problem is. sure, i hate christmas just like the next person, but usually i can stand it. today and yesterday i couldn't stand it at all.
i just sit at night, and do nothing. spend hours just doing nothing. laying in bed. not thinking, not working, just laying. i feel like i've lost any passion or motivation for life. that i just go through the motions, there is no enjoyment anymore.
i dont really know if i've ever felt like this. when i was depressed, i had feeling, i harbored it all inside, but i still felt somewhat alive. now there is just nothing, no emotions.
feeling almost lost, without purpose.. undescribable.
i'm always tired. i find joy in nothing, no one.
i don't get what my problem is. sure, i hate christmas just like the next person, but usually i can stand it. today and yesterday i couldn't stand it at all.
i just sit at night, and do nothing. spend hours just doing nothing. laying in bed. not thinking, not working, just laying. i feel like i've lost any passion or motivation for life. that i just go through the motions, there is no enjoyment anymore.
i dont really know if i've ever felt like this. when i was depressed, i had feeling, i harbored it all inside, but i still felt somewhat alive. now there is just nothing, no emotions.
feeling almost lost, without purpose.. undescribable.