(no subject)
The threat of lonliness is always at my door. I constantly think about my future, and if I really will end up by myself.
I'm scared of emptiness, but I feel empty all the time. I don't feel like I enjoy life, that I have any motivation or drive. I don't feel confident in myself or my abilities.
I wish there was some kind of desirable trait in me, that was wanted by someone in this world. Not only someone, but someone that I want back. Will I ever really want someone? feel close to someone?
I can't even imagine these feelings.
I'm surrounded by people who tell me they love me and care about me, and I know that if I asked-- there would be many people around to help and support me. But sometimes, there is an empty void, and untouchable, unfillable void that maybe only one person can fill. Maybe we really do have soulmates in life. And if you never find this person, you will feel this unfillable, unavoidable void forever. Perhaps the void shrinks down and is barely noticeable, and I will just have to settle. I don't want to settle, I want to strive for an unimaginable life, full of wonder, happiness, and excitment. The things I want to aspire to seem so out of reach-- I feel so unconnected with myself and my abilities.
What if my soul mate has walked through my life already, and is gone forever? What if I never recognize who my soulmate is?
I'm scared of emptiness, but I feel empty all the time. I don't feel like I enjoy life, that I have any motivation or drive. I don't feel confident in myself or my abilities.
I wish there was some kind of desirable trait in me, that was wanted by someone in this world. Not only someone, but someone that I want back. Will I ever really want someone? feel close to someone?
I can't even imagine these feelings.
I'm surrounded by people who tell me they love me and care about me, and I know that if I asked-- there would be many people around to help and support me. But sometimes, there is an empty void, and untouchable, unfillable void that maybe only one person can fill. Maybe we really do have soulmates in life. And if you never find this person, you will feel this unfillable, unavoidable void forever. Perhaps the void shrinks down and is barely noticeable, and I will just have to settle. I don't want to settle, I want to strive for an unimaginable life, full of wonder, happiness, and excitment. The things I want to aspire to seem so out of reach-- I feel so unconnected with myself and my abilities.
What if my soul mate has walked through my life already, and is gone forever? What if I never recognize who my soulmate is?