because he's maybe mentally unwell or something...sexy.
I realise I'm updating waaaay more than usual, but. I think it's LJ Markov Random Text Generator time.
making the mistake of putting on the mattress several pictures of Ben, looking startled on the altar of God
(I'm gonna warn you now: 'several pictures of Ben looking startled' is the new 'so not as good as Daniel Radcliffe'.)
several pictures of Ben, looking startled in a little bit of make-up and some high heels
(...see? Also could anyone else go for some crossdressing!Ben or is that just me.)
to see the way like he doesn't react to her ankles. She's clearly fast asleep, out like he's shoved a banana down it or something. ...Sexy.
(What?)
NARNIA RPF Will/Skandar - I don't know if this was just filming with a knife to Will's arse.
(Oh god what? I don't want to read this fic.)
Silas can't get that fucking image out of sexy lyrics for these requests so I grew a beard and he hasn't been able to cope with that,
(I'm just loling at the idea of Silas Botwin not being able to cope with me growing a beard.)
Georgie doesn't actually remember saying anything about tongues in the face. No, not literally.
I like creepy!Ben just as much as I like the drowned rat
Jim grasped a hold of Rickey's large phallic endowment, taking great care to devote much time as Georgie snorts unappreciatively.
(Just to remind you, I did post those terrible '70s gay porn quotes a while ago and so the first part is not my actual writing, and I don't know who Jim and Rickey are. Apparently Georgie does, though, and she doesn't approve. Incidentally, can anyone else see Georgie directing gay porn?)
So the other side of the dildo against his stomach. He can feel his eyes as his hand and almost swears out loud at the same thing and then holds him tight as he was playing a little while after the fourth season of Skins has aired.
(The fourth season-what? This is a weird way of measuring time when you're jerking off.)
Because he's maybe mentally unwell or something. ...Sexy.
(The sad thing is that I could easily have written this sentence. *hangs head*)
I think I'll just keep posting pictures of Ben, looking startled on the dirty floor, wearing a pair of jeans on his arm.
(I told you.)
can't help himself...he wants to jump Skandar at the sound of this.
(LULZ.)
Now all my guilt, and baptized the inner soul of my HOT...HARD...FUCKIN'...COCK!" Yeah, no.
(Again, er, not my writing. You'll be relieved to know.)
"Skandar Keynes ," says Ben, stunned, "are you-are you coming to ease my headache? do you give good head? am i good in bed?
(Oh my god. Is this actually Ben quoting dirty R.E.M. lyrics at Skandar? Awesome.)
Nathan stands in the room. Or a puppy. Or an axe murderer. Something extreme. That's why we have handwipes?
(WHAT. Also because I've recently started watching Misfits, I'm seeing this as that Nathan rather than the Followill I believe it is, and I have to say it almost makes sense that way.)
I love how Will has sort of regret for his penis.
(*chuckle*)
I love it. It's also making me want to have to fight the urge to moan.
(Well.)
First of all I love it. It's also making me want to fuck somebody.
(Calm doooown, generator!self. Jesus.)
Ben, Georgie, and the answer's always the same. Not until you're sixteen, at least," Anna snaps, and then trots off to sleep
then all there is is Kate Moss, which is AWESOME
(I agree with this much more than the previous batch's 'which is a shame'. Although that one was funnier.)
damn you for being so easygoing andrew bird; why?
(I can't stop laughing at this one, because it's not even two sentences spliced together, it's just a lyric from a song with that song's artist and title after it. But that turns it into a hilarious accusation.)
And Silas gripping Shane's hair like that oh love me, love me like a twelve year old ringmaster.
(What. No. What?)
I don't know," Will says, and it gives her ~feelings.
love and sex and sexy things picspam. While compiling it, I get hit by a sudden bout of unanticipated wrestling
(Sudden bouts of unanticipated wrestling are the worst.)
he turns, peers at the threesome inside the shower. "It's fantastic!" exclaimed Steve.
(Ahahaha.)
they're skimming the waistband of his comfort zone
Ben: I love the mental image of somebody brandishing a penis like a hot firepoker up his ass, his entire body jerking with each spasm.
(I can almost certainly guarantee that this is not something Ben Barnes has ever said in his life.)
...looking for condoms and lube. Finding them, he leaps back onto the bench beside Georgie.
(Oh Christ.)
when the whole thing ends they all swarm around Andrew and wish him a look that makes Anna blush. "You know. Give you a hand."
(No. I-what? I mean...surely...no.)
WILL'S HAIR. WILL'S HAIR. THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST.
(THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE STATEMENT.)
And hey, if you want something done right you have to be grinning maniacally during this swordfight. ♥
(And this is not an accurate saying...)
baby doll, i recognize you're a fucking murderer?
Michael: There was a very large bed, so this has the effect of pushing Georgie closer towards Ben.
(Pretty sure this is not something Michael Apted has ever said, either. Also, this isn't even logical. If you're gonna be creepy and narrate Ben and Georgie's sexual escapades, Michael, at least have it make sense.)
He has sex with all his might.
Ben's haircut is making Silas increasingly uncomfortable
(Ahaha.)
Will went to see it." "See what?" Ben asks, whirling round to look at him for a comparison-The L Word?
GEORGIE IS WEARING A BOWTIE, YOU GUYS.
(This is not something that has happened, to my knowledge, but I have to say I wouldn't complain if it did. In fact, I'd probably go so far as to write about twelve Georgie-in-drag fics. Just sayin', universe.)
Awww Andrew talking about how pretty Skandar's profile is.
(...Again. This is not something that ever happened. And I'm not sure how I'd feel about it if it did. No one's actually written Andrew Adamson/Narnia cast member, have they? I...hate to say I'm curious, but...you know me.)
"No," he says again. "I know you saw Dorian Gray ," he manages eventually. "Plus, I'm...you know, not gay?" "Is that both, then?" "What?"
He doesn't like to pretend he's alone in the large plastic box they've dragged into Ben's trailer
(Ahahaha.)
Can we talk about the antique teapots the old lady on the film over breakfast while Ben is awkwardly attempting to prise apart Siamese twins
(I wouldn't even know how to begin attempting to talk about that.)
His penis has a bit of a temptation to pretend like Ben doesn't exist.
Ben's eyes flicker back down Silas's body.
(Okay, so this generator wants a Ben Barnes/Silas Botwin crossover fic.)
The remaining three are sitting on him getting naked and having orgies
"It's not her fault either! She didn't know!" "Well then, whose fault is it?" "It's nobody's fault ," comes Will P.'s eyebrows
(WILL P.'S EYEBROWS ARE A SENTIENT BEING THAT CAN HOLD CONVERSATIONS. I KNEW IT.)
the way Ben was absentmindedly stroking at the ceiling again, pants still tangled somewhere around his waist
(Lol the return of weird!Ben. Half-undressed, stroking ceilings. That's just the way he rolls.)
It's weird seeing Michael directing Georgie, he seems to interact with her newfound hotness
(Noooooooo what is this implying.)
None of them are really forming anything particularly useful, though, and so he apologises and offers the question to the skin between her breasts.
(I don't think the skin between whoever's breasts is gonna be able to offer any useful answers either.)
I'll just keep posting pictures of Ben, looking startled on the platform, being lifted up towards the ship.
the guy says "but you're not in love?" and then looks thoughtful and says, "So. When's the last time you played Monopoly?"
Lots of fellatio in this film, with Ben and Skandar.
(...Sounds good to me.)
making the mistake of putting on the mattress several pictures of Ben, looking startled on the altar of God
(I'm gonna warn you now: 'several pictures of Ben looking startled' is the new 'so not as good as Daniel Radcliffe'.)
several pictures of Ben, looking startled in a little bit of make-up and some high heels
(...see? Also could anyone else go for some crossdressing!Ben or is that just me.)
to see the way like he doesn't react to her ankles. She's clearly fast asleep, out like he's shoved a banana down it or something. ...Sexy.
(What?)
NARNIA RPF Will/Skandar - I don't know if this was just filming with a knife to Will's arse.
(Oh god what? I don't want to read this fic.)
Silas can't get that fucking image out of sexy lyrics for these requests so I grew a beard and he hasn't been able to cope with that,
(I'm just loling at the idea of Silas Botwin not being able to cope with me growing a beard.)
Georgie doesn't actually remember saying anything about tongues in the face. No, not literally.
I like creepy!Ben just as much as I like the drowned rat
Jim grasped a hold of Rickey's large phallic endowment, taking great care to devote much time as Georgie snorts unappreciatively.
(Just to remind you, I did post those terrible '70s gay porn quotes a while ago and so the first part is not my actual writing, and I don't know who Jim and Rickey are. Apparently Georgie does, though, and she doesn't approve. Incidentally, can anyone else see Georgie directing gay porn?)
So the other side of the dildo against his stomach. He can feel his eyes as his hand and almost swears out loud at the same thing and then holds him tight as he was playing a little while after the fourth season of Skins has aired.
(The fourth season-what? This is a weird way of measuring time when you're jerking off.)
Because he's maybe mentally unwell or something. ...Sexy.
(The sad thing is that I could easily have written this sentence. *hangs head*)
I think I'll just keep posting pictures of Ben, looking startled on the dirty floor, wearing a pair of jeans on his arm.
(I told you.)
can't help himself...he wants to jump Skandar at the sound of this.
(LULZ.)
Now all my guilt, and baptized the inner soul of my HOT...HARD...FUCKIN'...COCK!" Yeah, no.
(Again, er, not my writing. You'll be relieved to know.)
"Skandar Keynes ," says Ben, stunned, "are you-are you coming to ease my headache? do you give good head? am i good in bed?
(Oh my god. Is this actually Ben quoting dirty R.E.M. lyrics at Skandar? Awesome.)
Nathan stands in the room. Or a puppy. Or an axe murderer. Something extreme. That's why we have handwipes?
(WHAT. Also because I've recently started watching Misfits, I'm seeing this as that Nathan rather than the Followill I believe it is, and I have to say it almost makes sense that way.)
I love how Will has sort of regret for his penis.
(*chuckle*)
I love it. It's also making me want to have to fight the urge to moan.
(Well.)
First of all I love it. It's also making me want to fuck somebody.
(Calm doooown, generator!self. Jesus.)
Ben, Georgie, and the answer's always the same. Not until you're sixteen, at least," Anna snaps, and then trots off to sleep
then all there is is Kate Moss, which is AWESOME
(I agree with this much more than the previous batch's 'which is a shame'. Although that one was funnier.)
damn you for being so easygoing andrew bird; why?
(I can't stop laughing at this one, because it's not even two sentences spliced together, it's just a lyric from a song with that song's artist and title after it. But that turns it into a hilarious accusation.)
And Silas gripping Shane's hair like that oh love me, love me like a twelve year old ringmaster.
(What. No. What?)
I don't know," Will says, and it gives her ~feelings.
love and sex and sexy things picspam. While compiling it, I get hit by a sudden bout of unanticipated wrestling
(Sudden bouts of unanticipated wrestling are the worst.)
he turns, peers at the threesome inside the shower. "It's fantastic!" exclaimed Steve.
(Ahahaha.)
they're skimming the waistband of his comfort zone
Ben: I love the mental image of somebody brandishing a penis like a hot firepoker up his ass, his entire body jerking with each spasm.
(I can almost certainly guarantee that this is not something Ben Barnes has ever said in his life.)
...looking for condoms and lube. Finding them, he leaps back onto the bench beside Georgie.
(Oh Christ.)
when the whole thing ends they all swarm around Andrew and wish him a look that makes Anna blush. "You know. Give you a hand."
(No. I-what? I mean...surely...no.)
WILL'S HAIR. WILL'S HAIR. THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST.
(THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE STATEMENT.)
And hey, if you want something done right you have to be grinning maniacally during this swordfight. ♥
(And this is not an accurate saying...)
baby doll, i recognize you're a fucking murderer?
Michael: There was a very large bed, so this has the effect of pushing Georgie closer towards Ben.
(Pretty sure this is not something Michael Apted has ever said, either. Also, this isn't even logical. If you're gonna be creepy and narrate Ben and Georgie's sexual escapades, Michael, at least have it make sense.)
He has sex with all his might.
Ben's haircut is making Silas increasingly uncomfortable
(Ahaha.)
Will went to see it." "See what?" Ben asks, whirling round to look at him for a comparison-The L Word?
GEORGIE IS WEARING A BOWTIE, YOU GUYS.
(This is not something that has happened, to my knowledge, but I have to say I wouldn't complain if it did. In fact, I'd probably go so far as to write about twelve Georgie-in-drag fics. Just sayin', universe.)
Awww Andrew talking about how pretty Skandar's profile is.
(...Again. This is not something that ever happened. And I'm not sure how I'd feel about it if it did. No one's actually written Andrew Adamson/Narnia cast member, have they? I...hate to say I'm curious, but...you know me.)
"No," he says again. "I know you saw Dorian Gray ," he manages eventually. "Plus, I'm...you know, not gay?" "Is that both, then?" "What?"
He doesn't like to pretend he's alone in the large plastic box they've dragged into Ben's trailer
(Ahahaha.)
Can we talk about the antique teapots the old lady on the film over breakfast while Ben is awkwardly attempting to prise apart Siamese twins
(I wouldn't even know how to begin attempting to talk about that.)
His penis has a bit of a temptation to pretend like Ben doesn't exist.
Ben's eyes flicker back down Silas's body.
(Okay, so this generator wants a Ben Barnes/Silas Botwin crossover fic.)
The remaining three are sitting on him getting naked and having orgies
"It's not her fault either! She didn't know!" "Well then, whose fault is it?" "It's nobody's fault ," comes Will P.'s eyebrows
(WILL P.'S EYEBROWS ARE A SENTIENT BEING THAT CAN HOLD CONVERSATIONS. I KNEW IT.)
the way Ben was absentmindedly stroking at the ceiling again, pants still tangled somewhere around his waist
(Lol the return of weird!Ben. Half-undressed, stroking ceilings. That's just the way he rolls.)
It's weird seeing Michael directing Georgie, he seems to interact with her newfound hotness
(Noooooooo what is this implying.)
None of them are really forming anything particularly useful, though, and so he apologises and offers the question to the skin between her breasts.
(I don't think the skin between whoever's breasts is gonna be able to offer any useful answers either.)
I'll just keep posting pictures of Ben, looking startled on the platform, being lifted up towards the ship.
the guy says "but you're not in love?" and then looks thoughtful and says, "So. When's the last time you played Monopoly?"
Lots of fellatio in this film, with Ben and Skandar.
(...Sounds good to me.)