Catlike (One-shot)
“Geng, we’re out of cat food. Go buy some,” Heechul says one afternoon as he bursts in the front door, hair falling over his face like a veil and a glint of something different in his eyes and a little relaxed smile on his face.
You look up from the magazine in your lap and catch him looking at you with a perplexing expression, as if he’s observing you. But when he locks your gaze, he turns away and pretends to set his bags down on the floor of the room you both are sharing with Kyuhyun who’s out at the moment.
You don’t say anything, just smile gently as Heebum crawls lithely over to Heechul and rubs himself against the pants of his dark wash jeans. You continue watching as Heechul smirks a little, kneels down on the ground, and scratches the creature enthusiastically behind its ears and it purrs.
Suddenly distracted, Heechul pulls his attention away from the cat and glances at you curiously, eyes scrutinizing your features.
You feel flustered, squirm a bit from where you are standing and avert your attention out the second story window.
“Kyung?” he probes slightly. You hear a shifting noise and when you turn back around, you are face to face with him and you feel as if your heart is about to burst out of your chest.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Cat food. I-I’m going right now,” you mumble slightly and grab your black coat before stumbling out to the doorway. Your keys jangle and your feet trip over Heebum and the cat yelps when you accidentally step on its tail and you’re in such a hurry that you can’t even register what is going on.
When you finally slam the door shut behind you, and hear bits of worried Korean behind you, being muted by the wall between you two, you sigh, and slump against the adjacent wall.
The wallpaper is a blurry mess of pale yellow and faded pink tulips as you stare at it and repeat for the hundredth time in your head: it’s Heechul. It’s been Heechul all along.
The sharp collarbones and the litheness and the elegance and the grace. The bitchiness and the annoying complaints in the middle of cold winter nights when he insists to crawl into bed next to you and the hissy fits and the femininity. The breathtaking beauty that swirls around him like a mirage. Those jutting hipbones and burning eyes and smirks and purrs of pleasures and mews of laughter and Heechul.
Oh, god. You can’t believe that all this time you’ve never seen it. That all this time you’ve never realized it.
With a sudden strangle of jolting madness and disbelief, you drop the jacket on the floor and end up dashing down the hall. You don’t remember how long you run for, but you keep running and images of Heechul flashes like an old film in your head.
---
You can’t quite pinpoint the way Heechul’s smile makes you feel like, or the way his hair feels when it’s slipping effortlessly through your fingers, or the way he dances like a girl but laughs at you when you practice ballet. You wish you could put the way his face lights up like it’s Christmas when you agree to take pictures with him into coherent words, and not just by the beatings of your own desperate heart. You wish you could just take Heechul, crush him against your chest and whisper to him god I fucking love you, but you can’t because that’s a silly thing to do. And it’s already so obvious that you wouldn’t need to put these things into sentences. You’re undoubtedly sure that Heechul already knows how you feel-maybe even better than you know, even.
But this is choking you. This incompleteness, and you want it so bad-to just tell him, but you don’t have the guts to. You want Heechul so bad that this might as well be some type of undiagnosed mental disorder and you’re almost completely certain that this is the last time you’ll ever have slightly sane thoughts again because as soon as you see Heechul’s face, you’re going to lose it all.
You love the way he smells-like delicate flowers, but at the same time, there’s a rugged touch to him-like pine trees and too-dark coffee. He is so breakable to you, but at the same time, so destructive. He could take over the world-singlehandedly if he really weren’t so lazy and stuck on whoring around on Cyworld and taking naked pictures of himself with his cat. And yet you must admit that you love that too.
You’re beating yourself over this, really. You want to just be rational, but the truth is that nothing is rational when it comes down to Heechul.
When it’s about Heechul-it’s either you love it or you hate it. So when all of these things hit you and once and you can’t tell if you like or hate it, you’re angry at yourself for needing him so much and not knowing.
You want to ask Siwon for advice, but you’re sure he’ll just tell you be patient because in some magical way, God will tell you the answer soon enough, hyung.
You sigh, and walk back slowly home, your mind still completely lost in your own cloud of thoughts and now you’re too scared to face him.
---
You come with empty hands and find Heechul outside in the hallway, waiting-your black coat in one arm and the cat in the other.
He arches an eyebrow at you and there is something unreadable behind those suddenly cloudy dark eyes and you swallow, throwing him back a look that says oh shit, I’m sorry. Forgot about the cat food.
The distance between you two lessens as you approach him. You keep your eyes focused on the mewling cat struggling to get out of Heechul’s grip to crawl to you to see if you have food because you’re scared to look at him right now. This overwhelming presence, this person that you don’t how you feel about but you just know that you feel so strongly about him sometimes it makes you stop breathing.
“Sorry, I forgot to bring money. Couldn’t get the cat food,” you stutter under your breath when you’re a couple inches from him; you can feel the heat of his skin melting the layer of ice that’s accumulated on your skin and then you feel a wave of goosebumps. You smell that special, addictive scent of his.
When you finally decide to look at your best friend’s eyes and work up the courage to stand still without turning around and sprinting away full speed, you lock eyes with him.
He still has an unreadable look in his eyes and he suddenly drops the jacket, and drops the cat on the floor. The cat that reminds you of a reincarnation of bits of Heechul-this finally made sense to you, but in a way it doesn’t really seem rational since you always seem to miss that person when you look at this cat, but the strange thing is that you have the real thing right in front of you. And he’s always been there, always around.
This is first time you’ve seen Heechul really completely serious in a really long time. Usually he’s smirking or being flirty with everyone or being loud and obnoxious and not making any sense. Or he’s babbling away on his phone with comical expressions, or grinning widely when he plays with his cats or being playful with your hair and your fingers when you are curled up in the backseat of the minivan together.
You barely hear the faint hissing of Heebum when he’s dropped suddenly and you can see him slink away into behind the ajar front door of the flat from the corner of your eye. At that precise moment-you can’t exactly recall-but you’re almost completely sure that Heechul’s face breaks slightly and his expression is not composed, and you feel the firm grip of his long, slender fingers curling around your wrist and he pulls you by the hand until you are both inside of the apartment and he slams the door shut skillfully with his knee. And when he leans close and breathes in the scent of you, he seems so sure of himself and so experienced that you can’t help but wonder If he’s ever done this in the past.
You’re barely able to catch the slight words of You’re a such a fool. Did you really think I didn’t know how you felt all this time? I was waiting for you to do something about it, but after all this time and you’ve still done nothing, I had to initiate it myself fall from his lips before those lips are on yours, sending your head spinning and you don’t know what’s going on anymore.
You kiss him back closing your eyes and he’s kissing you with so much aggression that you’re slammed against the sink and you want to cry out that it hurts, but it feels so good that you don’t say anything for a long time, and his fingers curl into the locks of your hair and he breathes in hungrily the smell of your aftershave and sighs hopelessly into your mouth. You want to feel him more, so you guide his arms so that they latch around your neck until he’s scratching red lines onto your back with his nails and he’s moaning against your lips and you tug on the collar of his shirt and pull him even closer, your bodies colliding perilously and you can’t help but moan, fingers desperately clinging onto everything that Heechul is pressing pretentiously against your body.
Have you done this before? you manage to gasp out before he’s shutting up your mouth again with his lips and his tongue fighting yours and he laughs a bit, pulls away and his chuckles are broken breaths and he looks at you sort of incredulously. He pulls you incredibly closer, your body now pressing against the cold surface of the refrigerator, and he bites fervently at your ear, the heat of his mouth sends shivers down your spine and he whispers with hushed breaths, No, only replaying this moment with you a hundred times in my mind.
He feels like silky velvet underneath your own calloused fingertips and you feel unworthy of this overspill of pretty that is before you, waiting for you to just take it all, forever. You don’t want to break him, and you don’t want to hurt him, but at the same time you’re torn because you want to make him scream, make him beg for you, make him desperate and wanton and he’ll be a thousand times more beautiful than he’s ever been and it’s killing you inside-little by little.
Just do it, he whispers into your ear and that’s all it takes.
While you clumsily unbutton the plastic buttons on his white collared shirt that smells like roses and peppermint and gritty cigarettes, he leans against you like he’s drunk and says kind of loudly, good thing they all went out to a dinner party tonight; you just smile effortlessly and pull him up and kiss him again because you just can’t help it. Kim Heechul, why do you make me feel like this? You want to say to him, but don’t.
---
The next morning, when you wake up to the blindingly bright rays of sunshine falling through the kitchen windowpanes, you make a little groaning noise at the sudden intrusion.
It takes a while until you realize that one, you’re naked on the floor in the kitchen, two, Heechul is naked and asleep next to you, and three, Henry is poking you with a chopstick and Donghae, Kyuhyun, and Leeteuk are surrounding the both of you with perplexed expressions.
You panic, trying to find something to cover yourself, but instead just blush furiously and look up at Leeteuk, who looks like slightly annoyed and slightly bored.
“Uuhh..Eeteuk-hyung, I swear I can explain…” you begin with flustered and broken Korean.
He tsks at you and sighs, “No need to, I think everyone’s known this for a long time, already, Hankyung. I’m just disappointed that you both were missing from the meeting this morning and didn’t pick up the calls from everyone.”
You blink, and glance over to Heechul, who is now getting probed at by Henry’s chopstick and you sigh, mumble some apologies and reach over to grab your jeans which Heechul is sleeping on and you search for your cell phone in the pockets.
Oh shit! 88 missed calls?! You think incredulously to yourself and flip it open to find that 44 of them are from Siwon, twenty are from Leeteuk, and the other twenty two are from the other members.
Donghae and Kyuhyun are walking over to the living room now to pick up some of the flung pillows strewn all over the carpet and you flush some more, your ears turning pink and Leeteuk leans in and says, “I think you two should get cleaned up. We’re all going out to lunch. We have an interview later today.”
You nod meekly and turn around to be angry at Heechul for dragging the two of you into this mess when suddenly a cat’s face is pressed up against yours and you hear Heechul’s hysterical laughter as he throws Heebum into your and lap and kisses you full on the lips before announcing loudly, “See, Kyungie? Everyone totally knew before you did. Oh, and by the way, I call the shower first.”
You want to protest, but he’s already waltzing into the direction of the bathroom before you can even say anything; you’re left hanging speechless behind him again.
Then you hear a slight chuckle behind you and you turn around just in time to catch something in English from Henry as he’s slipping out the front door; it sounds like God you’re so whipped.
-----------------end hanchul--------------------
A/N: Comments to let me know how you feel about my sort of angst!Hanchul ? XD;; It would totally make my day (8
You look up from the magazine in your lap and catch him looking at you with a perplexing expression, as if he’s observing you. But when he locks your gaze, he turns away and pretends to set his bags down on the floor of the room you both are sharing with Kyuhyun who’s out at the moment.
You don’t say anything, just smile gently as Heebum crawls lithely over to Heechul and rubs himself against the pants of his dark wash jeans. You continue watching as Heechul smirks a little, kneels down on the ground, and scratches the creature enthusiastically behind its ears and it purrs.
Suddenly distracted, Heechul pulls his attention away from the cat and glances at you curiously, eyes scrutinizing your features.
You feel flustered, squirm a bit from where you are standing and avert your attention out the second story window.
“Kyung?” he probes slightly. You hear a shifting noise and when you turn back around, you are face to face with him and you feel as if your heart is about to burst out of your chest.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Cat food. I-I’m going right now,” you mumble slightly and grab your black coat before stumbling out to the doorway. Your keys jangle and your feet trip over Heebum and the cat yelps when you accidentally step on its tail and you’re in such a hurry that you can’t even register what is going on.
When you finally slam the door shut behind you, and hear bits of worried Korean behind you, being muted by the wall between you two, you sigh, and slump against the adjacent wall.
The wallpaper is a blurry mess of pale yellow and faded pink tulips as you stare at it and repeat for the hundredth time in your head: it’s Heechul. It’s been Heechul all along.
The sharp collarbones and the litheness and the elegance and the grace. The bitchiness and the annoying complaints in the middle of cold winter nights when he insists to crawl into bed next to you and the hissy fits and the femininity. The breathtaking beauty that swirls around him like a mirage. Those jutting hipbones and burning eyes and smirks and purrs of pleasures and mews of laughter and Heechul.
Oh, god. You can’t believe that all this time you’ve never seen it. That all this time you’ve never realized it.
With a sudden strangle of jolting madness and disbelief, you drop the jacket on the floor and end up dashing down the hall. You don’t remember how long you run for, but you keep running and images of Heechul flashes like an old film in your head.
---
You can’t quite pinpoint the way Heechul’s smile makes you feel like, or the way his hair feels when it’s slipping effortlessly through your fingers, or the way he dances like a girl but laughs at you when you practice ballet. You wish you could put the way his face lights up like it’s Christmas when you agree to take pictures with him into coherent words, and not just by the beatings of your own desperate heart. You wish you could just take Heechul, crush him against your chest and whisper to him god I fucking love you, but you can’t because that’s a silly thing to do. And it’s already so obvious that you wouldn’t need to put these things into sentences. You’re undoubtedly sure that Heechul already knows how you feel-maybe even better than you know, even.
But this is choking you. This incompleteness, and you want it so bad-to just tell him, but you don’t have the guts to. You want Heechul so bad that this might as well be some type of undiagnosed mental disorder and you’re almost completely certain that this is the last time you’ll ever have slightly sane thoughts again because as soon as you see Heechul’s face, you’re going to lose it all.
You love the way he smells-like delicate flowers, but at the same time, there’s a rugged touch to him-like pine trees and too-dark coffee. He is so breakable to you, but at the same time, so destructive. He could take over the world-singlehandedly if he really weren’t so lazy and stuck on whoring around on Cyworld and taking naked pictures of himself with his cat. And yet you must admit that you love that too.
You’re beating yourself over this, really. You want to just be rational, but the truth is that nothing is rational when it comes down to Heechul.
When it’s about Heechul-it’s either you love it or you hate it. So when all of these things hit you and once and you can’t tell if you like or hate it, you’re angry at yourself for needing him so much and not knowing.
You want to ask Siwon for advice, but you’re sure he’ll just tell you be patient because in some magical way, God will tell you the answer soon enough, hyung.
You sigh, and walk back slowly home, your mind still completely lost in your own cloud of thoughts and now you’re too scared to face him.
---
You come with empty hands and find Heechul outside in the hallway, waiting-your black coat in one arm and the cat in the other.
He arches an eyebrow at you and there is something unreadable behind those suddenly cloudy dark eyes and you swallow, throwing him back a look that says oh shit, I’m sorry. Forgot about the cat food.
The distance between you two lessens as you approach him. You keep your eyes focused on the mewling cat struggling to get out of Heechul’s grip to crawl to you to see if you have food because you’re scared to look at him right now. This overwhelming presence, this person that you don’t how you feel about but you just know that you feel so strongly about him sometimes it makes you stop breathing.
“Sorry, I forgot to bring money. Couldn’t get the cat food,” you stutter under your breath when you’re a couple inches from him; you can feel the heat of his skin melting the layer of ice that’s accumulated on your skin and then you feel a wave of goosebumps. You smell that special, addictive scent of his.
When you finally decide to look at your best friend’s eyes and work up the courage to stand still without turning around and sprinting away full speed, you lock eyes with him.
He still has an unreadable look in his eyes and he suddenly drops the jacket, and drops the cat on the floor. The cat that reminds you of a reincarnation of bits of Heechul-this finally made sense to you, but in a way it doesn’t really seem rational since you always seem to miss that person when you look at this cat, but the strange thing is that you have the real thing right in front of you. And he’s always been there, always around.
This is first time you’ve seen Heechul really completely serious in a really long time. Usually he’s smirking or being flirty with everyone or being loud and obnoxious and not making any sense. Or he’s babbling away on his phone with comical expressions, or grinning widely when he plays with his cats or being playful with your hair and your fingers when you are curled up in the backseat of the minivan together.
You barely hear the faint hissing of Heebum when he’s dropped suddenly and you can see him slink away into behind the ajar front door of the flat from the corner of your eye. At that precise moment-you can’t exactly recall-but you’re almost completely sure that Heechul’s face breaks slightly and his expression is not composed, and you feel the firm grip of his long, slender fingers curling around your wrist and he pulls you by the hand until you are both inside of the apartment and he slams the door shut skillfully with his knee. And when he leans close and breathes in the scent of you, he seems so sure of himself and so experienced that you can’t help but wonder If he’s ever done this in the past.
You’re barely able to catch the slight words of You’re a such a fool. Did you really think I didn’t know how you felt all this time? I was waiting for you to do something about it, but after all this time and you’ve still done nothing, I had to initiate it myself fall from his lips before those lips are on yours, sending your head spinning and you don’t know what’s going on anymore.
You kiss him back closing your eyes and he’s kissing you with so much aggression that you’re slammed against the sink and you want to cry out that it hurts, but it feels so good that you don’t say anything for a long time, and his fingers curl into the locks of your hair and he breathes in hungrily the smell of your aftershave and sighs hopelessly into your mouth. You want to feel him more, so you guide his arms so that they latch around your neck until he’s scratching red lines onto your back with his nails and he’s moaning against your lips and you tug on the collar of his shirt and pull him even closer, your bodies colliding perilously and you can’t help but moan, fingers desperately clinging onto everything that Heechul is pressing pretentiously against your body.
Have you done this before? you manage to gasp out before he’s shutting up your mouth again with his lips and his tongue fighting yours and he laughs a bit, pulls away and his chuckles are broken breaths and he looks at you sort of incredulously. He pulls you incredibly closer, your body now pressing against the cold surface of the refrigerator, and he bites fervently at your ear, the heat of his mouth sends shivers down your spine and he whispers with hushed breaths, No, only replaying this moment with you a hundred times in my mind.
He feels like silky velvet underneath your own calloused fingertips and you feel unworthy of this overspill of pretty that is before you, waiting for you to just take it all, forever. You don’t want to break him, and you don’t want to hurt him, but at the same time you’re torn because you want to make him scream, make him beg for you, make him desperate and wanton and he’ll be a thousand times more beautiful than he’s ever been and it’s killing you inside-little by little.
Just do it, he whispers into your ear and that’s all it takes.
While you clumsily unbutton the plastic buttons on his white collared shirt that smells like roses and peppermint and gritty cigarettes, he leans against you like he’s drunk and says kind of loudly, good thing they all went out to a dinner party tonight; you just smile effortlessly and pull him up and kiss him again because you just can’t help it. Kim Heechul, why do you make me feel like this? You want to say to him, but don’t.
---
The next morning, when you wake up to the blindingly bright rays of sunshine falling through the kitchen windowpanes, you make a little groaning noise at the sudden intrusion.
It takes a while until you realize that one, you’re naked on the floor in the kitchen, two, Heechul is naked and asleep next to you, and three, Henry is poking you with a chopstick and Donghae, Kyuhyun, and Leeteuk are surrounding the both of you with perplexed expressions.
You panic, trying to find something to cover yourself, but instead just blush furiously and look up at Leeteuk, who looks like slightly annoyed and slightly bored.
“Uuhh..Eeteuk-hyung, I swear I can explain…” you begin with flustered and broken Korean.
He tsks at you and sighs, “No need to, I think everyone’s known this for a long time, already, Hankyung. I’m just disappointed that you both were missing from the meeting this morning and didn’t pick up the calls from everyone.”
You blink, and glance over to Heechul, who is now getting probed at by Henry’s chopstick and you sigh, mumble some apologies and reach over to grab your jeans which Heechul is sleeping on and you search for your cell phone in the pockets.
Oh shit! 88 missed calls?! You think incredulously to yourself and flip it open to find that 44 of them are from Siwon, twenty are from Leeteuk, and the other twenty two are from the other members.
Donghae and Kyuhyun are walking over to the living room now to pick up some of the flung pillows strewn all over the carpet and you flush some more, your ears turning pink and Leeteuk leans in and says, “I think you two should get cleaned up. We’re all going out to lunch. We have an interview later today.”
You nod meekly and turn around to be angry at Heechul for dragging the two of you into this mess when suddenly a cat’s face is pressed up against yours and you hear Heechul’s hysterical laughter as he throws Heebum into your and lap and kisses you full on the lips before announcing loudly, “See, Kyungie? Everyone totally knew before you did. Oh, and by the way, I call the shower first.”
You want to protest, but he’s already waltzing into the direction of the bathroom before you can even say anything; you’re left hanging speechless behind him again.
Then you hear a slight chuckle behind you and you turn around just in time to catch something in English from Henry as he’s slipping out the front door; it sounds like God you’re so whipped.
-----------------end hanchul--------------------
A/N: Comments to let me know how you feel about my sort of angst!Hanchul ? XD;; It would totally make my day (8