self-diagnosis, part III

Dec 14, 2006 16:01

hi guys. so i think i have an eating disorder.
http://www.something-fishy.org/whatarethey/coe.php

for the most part, this isn't new information. it's just a name for the pattern of how i deal with food. which is good, because that means i'm not the only one who's got this going on.

O. and i had a fantastic conversation last night. i told him about freaking out yesterday (basically, i started crying nigh-spontaneously, something i don't usually do), and about how badly i relate to food and feel that i need help to change that. and he asked me a couple of key questions - have i tried keeping a journal? limiting my food intake? which made me mad, because that exchange boils down to "i have a problem." "have you tried solving it?" I told him so, and he got what i was saying, and i think this is why i love him so much. But the end-result was this:

Yes, I have tried being proactive to solve this problem.
It hasn't worked.
This means either that I'm a deeply flawed person, or that there's something deeper at work here.
I'm going to try going with choice #2.

So I have a couple of calls out to clinics, and I'm going to amass some information and get some counseling. But it's good to feel a little more secure.

ps - after short deliberation, I'm putting this here and not in my regular lj. Not sure why; I just feel it goes better here.
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