Biography of the Good Times & the Bad Times.
I'm a very very nostolgic person who remembers the past better than yesterday. Why not? Everything was better back then. Sure you gain some new interests, but it costs you many old "good times." I don't know if I would call this kind o unrealistic longing for the past depression, as I would gladly do the most viscious things in exchange for nonexistant eternal youth & life.
I have some memory of my toddlerhood in Moab, Utah. Despite being only 2 or 3, I liked being outdoors in the mysterious & beautiful desert, so unlike the ugly Nevada desert I would come to know. I remember painting easter eggs with my grandparents & sneeking out of the house when my grandparents were napping & mom was at work. I remember the tiny town gathering & going looking for me when I failed to return before dark. I remember hiding & watching them, giggling like it was a game.
The best times ever were the late 80s & early 90s. Everything on TV was fun, I had lots of friends who didn't steal from me, I was physically fit, I could ride a bike like nobody's business for hours on end, we went camping, hiking, & vacationing once a year, I had a shiny new Sega Genesis & a plethora of Sonic & Bubsy games, Nickelodeon, MTV, & VH1 were at their height of coolness with things like Pop-Up Video, Snick, & Nick-at-Nite, I was already into horror movie & adult cartoons on MTV & USA, drinking coffee too, yet still playinng with Barbies & plushies, I was a complete bookworm, I was the best speller in class (which was shot to hell & fell into a rut by highschool), & I was really into Carmen Sandiego; the games, gameshow, & cartoon. I also read X-Men & Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons & comic books.
& them progressed into Jr. High, which is the funnest times I've ever had in a school. As puberty set in & interests changed, my best friend Kiley McElroy & I drifted far apart, but she was quickly replaced by Shana Faulkner. I had left a blossoming preppy for a young goth & I felt a better kinship with her, epecially since neither of us were into boys or popularity. Actualy, we were troublemakers, but I was good friends with the office staff & principal (just like in every Elementry school I attended), but my violent ways were waning because of all the medications Ma put me on, though I did miss my child-therapist terribly. Shana & I were mostly travel buddies. Bike or foot, we would spend hot days biking or footing the vast Reno/Sparks area, never getting lost, we saved our allowances on our earliest PC games, restaurants, & casino arcades. We had Wild Waters, Miniature Golf, Boomtown, Pyramid Lake, Verginia City, Lake Tahoe, go-carts, Shadow Mountain, the Truckee River canal, & the local parks to keep us busy. We didn't need TV! But we did have similar taste in movies & went to the theater often. I had some great short-term friends named Roxie & Karen Biggs, but we were seperated after Jr. High. My mom didn't like them & her mom didn't like me.
Then there is Highschool; 1998-2001. I have really mixed feelings about this time period. Was it more "the beginning of the bad times" or more "the last of the good times?" Shana lived right next door to a highschool, & I lived only blocks from a different highschool, so we were seperated. I visited my casual highschool friend Delmy a lot now, but we didn't hang out at school. I spent lunch time in the library, mostly reading Anne Rice, Erma Bombeck, history of fashion & costume, & world religions. I was really into South Korean music & anime at this time, with a growing interest in Japanese culture. I slowly stopped reading American comics & started getting into manga. I couldn't take all of the crappy American music on the radios anymore, the fashions were abysmal, the office staff was hidden & unfriendly, gym class & algebra were forced upon me, MTV, VH1, & Nickelodeon got rid of all their good programs, I began to hate things like religion & Disney. No longer on medication, I slipped into a rather antisocial emotional-vegetable state & felt that Shana was the only person I could relate to. She also introduced me to Jesselyn Downs, who amped my Japanophilia with her vast collections. For a short time, I had an awesome Russian friend named Akatrina, but we were seperated after highschool due to living distances. Sun Valley was pretty far away. I was also really into Oldies music & classic radio talkies.
My first college. This is where everything went downhill. All of my favorite Korean bands were breaking up & the music was changing to become as awful as American music. Kim Hwan-Sung of NRG died short of his 20th birthday, Dir en Grey turned their backs on Visual Kei, reality TV had taken over, there was a maximum of one good movie per year, Shana & I had developed an intollerance for Nevada's hot, bright, treeless summer sunny heat & took to hanging out at night or indoors. Thank gawd everything was open 24/7 & the nights were rarely cold. I was into The Sims & Heroes of Might & Magic. While I avoided the Harry Potter fandom out of general hatred of anything popular, I eventually succumbed & it was great. Nickelodeon had 3 good cartoons, but I was mostly watching fansubs at Jessie's or on the new "internet" which was new to me until the early 2000s, due to us having an old 80s monochrome Mac II. I started liking boys, primarily Asian ones, & yaoi was my only sexuality, so when I liked a boy, I always hoped he was gay. I got to watch David Bowie's lovely face age, & it was sad. Seeing Micheal Jackson's botched face reconstruction surgery was sadder. All of my minor friends turned out to be undependable disapointments who never returnedwhat they borrowed or called to hang out. I was really crushed when my favorite band HOT split up & I'm still not over it, because they used to be my happy music & now their music is depressing to hear.
My last good memories were between 2005 & 2007, when I got my first job as a file clerk for a huge car company with 8 buildings. I actualy hated working & my boss, but when the company died due to economic hardships, I realised that I missed it. Once or twice a day, I got to do mail runs between the buildings, which is practicly like taking an hour long break. Durring these times, as well as lunch, I got to hang out with my receptionist buddies, primarily Sylvana & Pierce; my first officialy gay guyfriend, who helped get me into trance & techno music. They were as lazy as I am now, so we didn't see eachother anymore after Huling Brothers/Gee Automotive shut down. Micheal, who was with us only shortly before switching to Microsoft, got me hooked on RTSRPGs big time when he let me borrow Dungeon Siege. Our overworked tech guy gave me a free copy of the pricey Adobe Photoshop 7 for helping him troubleshoot computer problems around the office. I spent 75% of my paycheck on manga, whic I bought from a tiny bookstore near work, & on eBay. My mother worked there as the Payroll clerk, which ment a free ride to & from work & job security; Ma threatened to leave if they fired me, & training a new payroll person was costly & timely. All of my favorite Japanese bands were either dropping visual Kei or splitting up, so I wan't as deeply emerced in the bands anymore & just listened for the music. I started getting into Russian, German, Romanian, & Sweedish techno because I rather dislike hearing music with English lyrics. This was after leaving Nevada for the beutiful green sate of Washington after Shana ran away from home after having a huge fall-out with her mother. Jessie had miraculously moved here & attended the same school, but started to get homesick & returned to Nevada after a few years. To boos the lousiness, Ma put our old cat Cali down without my permission & Mishcief ran away from home & never returned, but we did pick up a stray & addopt a baby kitten.
Somehow in 2008, I got away with only having one job for a few months. I quit months ago & stilll don't have a job. While it's bad for my health & finances, I really hate leaving the house these days, Working as a prepairer in an independantly owned deli seemed creat at first; only me, the boss, & the nice pregnant girl. But it went downhill when the pregnant girl took maternity leave & it was just me & the boss. I am a slow person, & having to work very fast with a memory disability causes anxiety, which I'd probably never experienced before in my life, Unable to tollerate the chest tighness, I told her I'd stay until she could find a replacement. I tried going back to college for the rest of the year, but learned that my laziness & making art seem like a chore had basicly killed my interest in being creative, & due to Sallie Mae being owned by Freddy Mac, who got a government bailout in economic hard-times, I was forced to quit my 3ed college. If I ever go to a fourth, maybe I'll try a tech school instead of an art institution.
I miss Shana :(
I have some memory of my toddlerhood in Moab, Utah. Despite being only 2 or 3, I liked being outdoors in the mysterious & beautiful desert, so unlike the ugly Nevada desert I would come to know. I remember painting easter eggs with my grandparents & sneeking out of the house when my grandparents were napping & mom was at work. I remember the tiny town gathering & going looking for me when I failed to return before dark. I remember hiding & watching them, giggling like it was a game.
The best times ever were the late 80s & early 90s. Everything on TV was fun, I had lots of friends who didn't steal from me, I was physically fit, I could ride a bike like nobody's business for hours on end, we went camping, hiking, & vacationing once a year, I had a shiny new Sega Genesis & a plethora of Sonic & Bubsy games, Nickelodeon, MTV, & VH1 were at their height of coolness with things like Pop-Up Video, Snick, & Nick-at-Nite, I was already into horror movie & adult cartoons on MTV & USA, drinking coffee too, yet still playinng with Barbies & plushies, I was a complete bookworm, I was the best speller in class (which was shot to hell & fell into a rut by highschool), & I was really into Carmen Sandiego; the games, gameshow, & cartoon. I also read X-Men & Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons & comic books.
& them progressed into Jr. High, which is the funnest times I've ever had in a school. As puberty set in & interests changed, my best friend Kiley McElroy & I drifted far apart, but she was quickly replaced by Shana Faulkner. I had left a blossoming preppy for a young goth & I felt a better kinship with her, epecially since neither of us were into boys or popularity. Actualy, we were troublemakers, but I was good friends with the office staff & principal (just like in every Elementry school I attended), but my violent ways were waning because of all the medications Ma put me on, though I did miss my child-therapist terribly. Shana & I were mostly travel buddies. Bike or foot, we would spend hot days biking or footing the vast Reno/Sparks area, never getting lost, we saved our allowances on our earliest PC games, restaurants, & casino arcades. We had Wild Waters, Miniature Golf, Boomtown, Pyramid Lake, Verginia City, Lake Tahoe, go-carts, Shadow Mountain, the Truckee River canal, & the local parks to keep us busy. We didn't need TV! But we did have similar taste in movies & went to the theater often. I had some great short-term friends named Roxie & Karen Biggs, but we were seperated after Jr. High. My mom didn't like them & her mom didn't like me.
Then there is Highschool; 1998-2001. I have really mixed feelings about this time period. Was it more "the beginning of the bad times" or more "the last of the good times?" Shana lived right next door to a highschool, & I lived only blocks from a different highschool, so we were seperated. I visited my casual highschool friend Delmy a lot now, but we didn't hang out at school. I spent lunch time in the library, mostly reading Anne Rice, Erma Bombeck, history of fashion & costume, & world religions. I was really into South Korean music & anime at this time, with a growing interest in Japanese culture. I slowly stopped reading American comics & started getting into manga. I couldn't take all of the crappy American music on the radios anymore, the fashions were abysmal, the office staff was hidden & unfriendly, gym class & algebra were forced upon me, MTV, VH1, & Nickelodeon got rid of all their good programs, I began to hate things like religion & Disney. No longer on medication, I slipped into a rather antisocial emotional-vegetable state & felt that Shana was the only person I could relate to. She also introduced me to Jesselyn Downs, who amped my Japanophilia with her vast collections. For a short time, I had an awesome Russian friend named Akatrina, but we were seperated after highschool due to living distances. Sun Valley was pretty far away. I was also really into Oldies music & classic radio talkies.
My first college. This is where everything went downhill. All of my favorite Korean bands were breaking up & the music was changing to become as awful as American music. Kim Hwan-Sung of NRG died short of his 20th birthday, Dir en Grey turned their backs on Visual Kei, reality TV had taken over, there was a maximum of one good movie per year, Shana & I had developed an intollerance for Nevada's hot, bright, treeless summer sunny heat & took to hanging out at night or indoors. Thank gawd everything was open 24/7 & the nights were rarely cold. I was into The Sims & Heroes of Might & Magic. While I avoided the Harry Potter fandom out of general hatred of anything popular, I eventually succumbed & it was great. Nickelodeon had 3 good cartoons, but I was mostly watching fansubs at Jessie's or on the new "internet" which was new to me until the early 2000s, due to us having an old 80s monochrome Mac II. I started liking boys, primarily Asian ones, & yaoi was my only sexuality, so when I liked a boy, I always hoped he was gay. I got to watch David Bowie's lovely face age, & it was sad. Seeing Micheal Jackson's botched face reconstruction surgery was sadder. All of my minor friends turned out to be undependable disapointments who never returnedwhat they borrowed or called to hang out. I was really crushed when my favorite band HOT split up & I'm still not over it, because they used to be my happy music & now their music is depressing to hear.
My last good memories were between 2005 & 2007, when I got my first job as a file clerk for a huge car company with 8 buildings. I actualy hated working & my boss, but when the company died due to economic hardships, I realised that I missed it. Once or twice a day, I got to do mail runs between the buildings, which is practicly like taking an hour long break. Durring these times, as well as lunch, I got to hang out with my receptionist buddies, primarily Sylvana & Pierce; my first officialy gay guyfriend, who helped get me into trance & techno music. They were as lazy as I am now, so we didn't see eachother anymore after Huling Brothers/Gee Automotive shut down. Micheal, who was with us only shortly before switching to Microsoft, got me hooked on RTSRPGs big time when he let me borrow Dungeon Siege. Our overworked tech guy gave me a free copy of the pricey Adobe Photoshop 7 for helping him troubleshoot computer problems around the office. I spent 75% of my paycheck on manga, whic I bought from a tiny bookstore near work, & on eBay. My mother worked there as the Payroll clerk, which ment a free ride to & from work & job security; Ma threatened to leave if they fired me, & training a new payroll person was costly & timely. All of my favorite Japanese bands were either dropping visual Kei or splitting up, so I wan't as deeply emerced in the bands anymore & just listened for the music. I started getting into Russian, German, Romanian, & Sweedish techno because I rather dislike hearing music with English lyrics. This was after leaving Nevada for the beutiful green sate of Washington after Shana ran away from home after having a huge fall-out with her mother. Jessie had miraculously moved here & attended the same school, but started to get homesick & returned to Nevada after a few years. To boos the lousiness, Ma put our old cat Cali down without my permission & Mishcief ran away from home & never returned, but we did pick up a stray & addopt a baby kitten.
Somehow in 2008, I got away with only having one job for a few months. I quit months ago & stilll don't have a job. While it's bad for my health & finances, I really hate leaving the house these days, Working as a prepairer in an independantly owned deli seemed creat at first; only me, the boss, & the nice pregnant girl. But it went downhill when the pregnant girl took maternity leave & it was just me & the boss. I am a slow person, & having to work very fast with a memory disability causes anxiety, which I'd probably never experienced before in my life, Unable to tollerate the chest tighness, I told her I'd stay until she could find a replacement. I tried going back to college for the rest of the year, but learned that my laziness & making art seem like a chore had basicly killed my interest in being creative, & due to Sallie Mae being owned by Freddy Mac, who got a government bailout in economic hard-times, I was forced to quit my 3ed college. If I ever go to a fourth, maybe I'll try a tech school instead of an art institution.
I miss Shana :(