You never know when I'll show you the never.
Well it sure has been an interesting week. Lots of metaphors and emotions. Lots of evaluating. My last five years have come to a head this week, and after several intense hours of conversation I feel like in a weird way I really did cross that one lingering thing off my list. I feel like there is a period at the end of those five years.
Today my family came over for dinner and wii games. Despite the odd conversation (running from ex boyfriends to getting OUR children confirmed), it was great. Talking about the future didn't seem so strange and it seemed obvious to everyone in the room that this is it. Now there is an ellipsis on my future.
I feel relieved, hopeful...in a strange way I feel new. After a long time I feel free from the only thing in my life that truly burdened me. I don't think I was ever expressly forgiven, but I think now that Aaron and I can really step back and be happy and hopeful for each other...we might actually be on the road to moving forward - as friends.
I am very happy.
Here is my one stanza that I am quite proud of:
Out the window -
Snow on rooftops.
3am
I stare at them
And think of our clean slate:
Will our chances
Fly in the wake
of windy winter
Like that bezeled dust?
And here are the songs I will eventually add onto my screenplay playlist (screenplaylist?)
Foreground, Grizzly Bear
Ode to Divorce, Regina Spector
Numb, Sia
Shape Shifter, Local Natives
Big Fight, Stars
I feel like I can breathe deeper.
Today my family came over for dinner and wii games. Despite the odd conversation (running from ex boyfriends to getting OUR children confirmed), it was great. Talking about the future didn't seem so strange and it seemed obvious to everyone in the room that this is it. Now there is an ellipsis on my future.
I feel relieved, hopeful...in a strange way I feel new. After a long time I feel free from the only thing in my life that truly burdened me. I don't think I was ever expressly forgiven, but I think now that Aaron and I can really step back and be happy and hopeful for each other...we might actually be on the road to moving forward - as friends.
I am very happy.
Here is my one stanza that I am quite proud of:
Out the window -
Snow on rooftops.
3am
I stare at them
And think of our clean slate:
Will our chances
Fly in the wake
of windy winter
Like that bezeled dust?
And here are the songs I will eventually add onto my screenplay playlist (screenplaylist?)
Foreground, Grizzly Bear
Ode to Divorce, Regina Spector
Numb, Sia
Shape Shifter, Local Natives
Big Fight, Stars
I feel like I can breathe deeper.