By Popular Demand... or not so popular demand:
Rules of Engagement: Light9
Concerning the Matter of Food
Have Valveeta Mac and Cheese available at all times.
Following the above rule thou shall also have hot dogs (Hebrew International), cereal, chocolate milk, bagels and cream cheese on hand at all times.
Thou shalt not harass me because of my lack of variety in my diet. Thou shalt just accept it as a fact of life and move on.
Thou shalt not force me to try any new foods. No means NO.
Concerning the Matter of Sleep
I sleep in until the last possible moment. Do Not Disturb.*
If thou must break the above rule thou shalt have a d*** good reason for it or else divine wrath shall fall upon thy head.
I am not fully coherent when first awakened. Do not tell me anything important at this time.
Respect my need for sleep.*
Naps are apart of my daily routine. If you have a problem with this: Keep it to yourself and leave me to my peace.
Concerning the Matter of Work*
I do not do wash dirty dishes.
I do not clean toilets.
I do not mop floors.
I do no work in general when left to my own devises.
Clean up after me whenever possible. This rule is loosely enforced.
Ask me if thou needeth me to do specific work. Don't expect me to magically know.
Concerning the Matter of Physical Activities*
Thou shalt not force me to do Physical Activities in general.
Thou shalt not force me to run. Or even walk long distances in general.
If I am feeling active then I will engage you in a Physical Activity. It does not work the other way around.
Whenever it is possible to use the car instead of walking the car will be used.
Whenever possible I do not drive.
Concerning the Matter of Interests
Thou shalt not condescend my interests as being worthless, waste of time or just plain stupid. They are my interests, they are what make me happy, so deal with it.**
Thou shalt not bring up some of my more interesting interests in front of strangers. Only I am allowed to do that.
Thou Shalt Not***
Tickle****
Patronize
Condescend
Touch/Grab the back of my neck
Splash/squirt me with water
Use guilt
Tell me what to do
*Children are exempted.
**This is not saying that playful comments and sarcasm are not allowed. I can take sarcastic comments as well as dish them out but there is a difference between sarcasm and biting sarcasm.
***Note: Most of these rules run in the family.
****This is not a joke nor will I ever find it funny. Do. Not. Tickle. Me.
Concerning the Matter of Food
Have Valveeta Mac and Cheese available at all times.
Following the above rule thou shall also have hot dogs (Hebrew International), cereal, chocolate milk, bagels and cream cheese on hand at all times.
Thou shalt not harass me because of my lack of variety in my diet. Thou shalt just accept it as a fact of life and move on.
Thou shalt not force me to try any new foods. No means NO.
Concerning the Matter of Sleep
I sleep in until the last possible moment. Do Not Disturb.*
If thou must break the above rule thou shalt have a d*** good reason for it or else divine wrath shall fall upon thy head.
I am not fully coherent when first awakened. Do not tell me anything important at this time.
Respect my need for sleep.*
Naps are apart of my daily routine. If you have a problem with this: Keep it to yourself and leave me to my peace.
Concerning the Matter of Work*
I do not do wash dirty dishes.
I do not clean toilets.
I do not mop floors.
I do no work in general when left to my own devises.
Clean up after me whenever possible. This rule is loosely enforced.
Ask me if thou needeth me to do specific work. Don't expect me to magically know.
Concerning the Matter of Physical Activities*
Thou shalt not force me to do Physical Activities in general.
Thou shalt not force me to run. Or even walk long distances in general.
If I am feeling active then I will engage you in a Physical Activity. It does not work the other way around.
Whenever it is possible to use the car instead of walking the car will be used.
Whenever possible I do not drive.
Concerning the Matter of Interests
Thou shalt not condescend my interests as being worthless, waste of time or just plain stupid. They are my interests, they are what make me happy, so deal with it.**
Thou shalt not bring up some of my more interesting interests in front of strangers. Only I am allowed to do that.
Thou Shalt Not***
Tickle****
Patronize
Condescend
Touch/Grab the back of my neck
Splash/squirt me with water
Use guilt
Tell me what to do
*Children are exempted.
**This is not saying that playful comments and sarcasm are not allowed. I can take sarcastic comments as well as dish them out but there is a difference between sarcasm and biting sarcasm.
***Note: Most of these rules run in the family.
****This is not a joke nor will I ever find it funny. Do. Not. Tickle. Me.