(no subject)
"I need to feel needed by people"
Whoever tells me they haven't ever thought that, is lying. So I come to a fundamental conclusion, "being needed" is a driving force in our lives. Look around, all the bad and good comes from that simple thought. People want to be needed. When that attention a person gives out is not reciprocated, disappointment follows. Confusion from all this makes people do stupid shit to get all the attention they want. Invariably, it always backfires with few exceptions. So why don't people fix this?
I feel it too sometimes. I want to be needed. but it's suppressed, controlled, like some angry animal that begs for attention only to be collared. Yet the majority of people, both men and women, don't bother to do this and let all the emotions tangle their life right down to the root of their being. The few of us stand by and get caught in that skein of turmoil every so often, but usually stand off to the side. So which is right? The emotional live by their fears, fake hopes and dreams, the few live by control, protective and protected. The former live all out, but more often than not screw up. The latter don't always take those paths, and instead stay back to observe, then judge in a careful manner, neglecting life.
The questions boil within me, peeling away those outer layers to reveal the dormant seed of my mind. I want an answer, yet fail to care enough, letting my mind shrivel, unused, uncared for, no light penetrates. There is no answer within this life, if at all. I wonder sometimes if after death, there really is nothing. I return to the earth and disappear, never to be seen again. Whatever created us is as far from us as the galaxy Andromeda is from the Milky Way. Does there need to be answers, we live by happiness. Maybe that's all that matters here.
Everyday, I see it. I see people that give in and make themselves "needed" in the wrong way. Fuck that. Self-destruction is a terrible way to go about things. Sometimes what doesn't even hurt the person doing it all, hurts others that are close. Everyone inevitably chokes on the same flood of emotion. So hardly anyone truly ever learns, because it's a big mass of uncaring, cause "Nothing in the end matters anyways."
No, this post isnt targeted at any one person. I know at least 10 of you reading this probably feel judged and might be inclined to tell me to fuck off. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better. But you know it's how life is. No one wants to admit it though, because then there is a sign of weakness. Weakness is bad, everyone capitalizes on that one! I will admit it now, I know how I am, I realize that weakness within me. I know I want to feel needed, to grow under some sort of guided light. But I will never let it kill me. Of all things that will make me wither, this will not be it. Like anyone else, I was meant for better soil.
Whoever tells me they haven't ever thought that, is lying. So I come to a fundamental conclusion, "being needed" is a driving force in our lives. Look around, all the bad and good comes from that simple thought. People want to be needed. When that attention a person gives out is not reciprocated, disappointment follows. Confusion from all this makes people do stupid shit to get all the attention they want. Invariably, it always backfires with few exceptions. So why don't people fix this?
I feel it too sometimes. I want to be needed. but it's suppressed, controlled, like some angry animal that begs for attention only to be collared. Yet the majority of people, both men and women, don't bother to do this and let all the emotions tangle their life right down to the root of their being. The few of us stand by and get caught in that skein of turmoil every so often, but usually stand off to the side. So which is right? The emotional live by their fears, fake hopes and dreams, the few live by control, protective and protected. The former live all out, but more often than not screw up. The latter don't always take those paths, and instead stay back to observe, then judge in a careful manner, neglecting life.
The questions boil within me, peeling away those outer layers to reveal the dormant seed of my mind. I want an answer, yet fail to care enough, letting my mind shrivel, unused, uncared for, no light penetrates. There is no answer within this life, if at all. I wonder sometimes if after death, there really is nothing. I return to the earth and disappear, never to be seen again. Whatever created us is as far from us as the galaxy Andromeda is from the Milky Way. Does there need to be answers, we live by happiness. Maybe that's all that matters here.
Everyday, I see it. I see people that give in and make themselves "needed" in the wrong way. Fuck that. Self-destruction is a terrible way to go about things. Sometimes what doesn't even hurt the person doing it all, hurts others that are close. Everyone inevitably chokes on the same flood of emotion. So hardly anyone truly ever learns, because it's a big mass of uncaring, cause "Nothing in the end matters anyways."
No, this post isnt targeted at any one person. I know at least 10 of you reading this probably feel judged and might be inclined to tell me to fuck off. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better. But you know it's how life is. No one wants to admit it though, because then there is a sign of weakness. Weakness is bad, everyone capitalizes on that one! I will admit it now, I know how I am, I realize that weakness within me. I know I want to feel needed, to grow under some sort of guided light. But I will never let it kill me. Of all things that will make me wither, this will not be it. Like anyone else, I was meant for better soil.