Loss of Sleep.
So lately I have this problem with Sleep. OK I kid myself I always have a problem with sleep ..or I sleep way to much. Lately I can only sleep for about an hour or two then I am back up like a slept all night. This really starts to wear me down. I try to make myself go back to sleep, just doesnt seem to happen ninety percent of the time. What a joke eh.
So last night I played rearange my whole apt...ok I lie my friend and I think new roomie Derick did most of it with one of the neighbors when I was on the phone in my room. But hey it looks really nice so thats what counts.
I spent a few hours on the phone with Heather last night. lately since the break up we usually only talk a little bit at time..but still often enough.
So it was nice last night to talk for a long while..I think around 3hrs. We both have a lot of issues with pain from our relationship that is nice to talk about now..and kind of resolve. I still love that girl so much. I know it is the best got us not to be together in both our points in life. but I have never felt so damn COMPLETE by anyone ever in my life. EVER. I think about her all the time and it kills me to think that I lost her and our relationship. But then again I look at what we had become and we would have destroyed each other the way we were going. I dont know why I am rambling right now. Maybe because I need sleep. So What. Well all in all I am so glad we spoke for aslong as we did. I felt so much better. Only hard part was the end. We both started to get real emotional and so I said we should start that conversation anouther time. She needed sleep for work and I know when we have that talk it will take hours in itself. I am not sure if we should have that talk. Maybe that would hurt more than help right now. Then again I believe you should say what you feel..so for better or for worse the conversation will happen. Worry bout the aftermath when it comes. Its funny when we were together we were like a fifty year old couple. we always talked things out instead of argueing. I really like that. Its also cool we can still talk like that now..and we are not screaming at each other. I hate argueing like that with people.
Ok well I am done for now..Maybe I can force myself to sleep before I have to go check out this job.
So last night I played rearange my whole apt...ok I lie my friend and I think new roomie Derick did most of it with one of the neighbors when I was on the phone in my room. But hey it looks really nice so thats what counts.
I spent a few hours on the phone with Heather last night. lately since the break up we usually only talk a little bit at time..but still often enough.
So it was nice last night to talk for a long while..I think around 3hrs. We both have a lot of issues with pain from our relationship that is nice to talk about now..and kind of resolve. I still love that girl so much. I know it is the best got us not to be together in both our points in life. but I have never felt so damn COMPLETE by anyone ever in my life. EVER. I think about her all the time and it kills me to think that I lost her and our relationship. But then again I look at what we had become and we would have destroyed each other the way we were going. I dont know why I am rambling right now. Maybe because I need sleep. So What. Well all in all I am so glad we spoke for aslong as we did. I felt so much better. Only hard part was the end. We both started to get real emotional and so I said we should start that conversation anouther time. She needed sleep for work and I know when we have that talk it will take hours in itself. I am not sure if we should have that talk. Maybe that would hurt more than help right now. Then again I believe you should say what you feel..so for better or for worse the conversation will happen. Worry bout the aftermath when it comes. Its funny when we were together we were like a fifty year old couple. we always talked things out instead of argueing. I really like that. Its also cool we can still talk like that now..and we are not screaming at each other. I hate argueing like that with people.
Ok well I am done for now..Maybe I can force myself to sleep before I have to go check out this job.