Surgery date set and life beyond
I go in for surgery on the 27th.
I'm flat out scared about it. I've had a feeling since they said I needed surgery that I won't be coming home from it. After all the other info about it, all the things they're actually doing, I got more scared. I really don't want to leave the world just yet. Things are good and I have a family and people who love me. I have PLANS!
So, to combat the fear, I've been trying to focus on the future, on the "after I recover" part of things.
After I recover I'll be able to breathe properly for the first time in years. I won't have this wierd pain in my nose anymore. When I sleep, I'll actually rest and recover instead of fighting for air. I won't be getting sinus infections all the time.
I've started studying herbalism. I used to know a ton, so some is refresher info. I'm learning lots already though. My plan is to spend two weeks studying an herb, the history, uses, studies on effectiveness, interactions, warnings, all the technical things. Then another two to three weeks studying the recipes and preparations, actually making things to cement the study portion. I'll overlap the study by picking up a new herb to study while working on the preparation of the previous study subject. Sort of my own classroom sort of thing.
My intent is that with better breathing should come better rest and better mental function. I intend to use that to my favor and become an herbalist. I'm also investigating becoming a dietician or a life coach or something of the sort that will work with the herbalism and let me find a career out of tech support. It's a long-term goal, but I think it's time to stop putting off my goals.
I'm also making plans to buy a Bengal kitten this summer. They live a long time, about 20 yrs. So I'm thinking that I'll be getting what may be the last pet I'll ever have. They're good pets for allergic people, and apparently very smart and a little bit wild too. Not like Savannah cat wild, but they haven't lost all their instincts like most domestic cat breeds. They also grow to be pretty large. The photos I've seen of adults are just amazing. They're also reputed to bond closely with their owners and to love to snuggle at night, so double win for me!
Now, to have any of this, I have to not die during the surgery. Thinking on these things keeps the fear at bay and keeps me positive, looking at the outcome, not the terror of the surgery and being put under and having my sinuses basically rebuilt from the inside. I mean, come on, they're cutting out polyps, and they're also cutting out infected and necrotic tissue from the sinus cavities. There's a few other things going on as well, but it's scary stuff for someone who hasn't been in surgery before.
So yes, focus on the future. Life Moving Forward, right? Right!
I'm flat out scared about it. I've had a feeling since they said I needed surgery that I won't be coming home from it. After all the other info about it, all the things they're actually doing, I got more scared. I really don't want to leave the world just yet. Things are good and I have a family and people who love me. I have PLANS!
So, to combat the fear, I've been trying to focus on the future, on the "after I recover" part of things.
After I recover I'll be able to breathe properly for the first time in years. I won't have this wierd pain in my nose anymore. When I sleep, I'll actually rest and recover instead of fighting for air. I won't be getting sinus infections all the time.
I've started studying herbalism. I used to know a ton, so some is refresher info. I'm learning lots already though. My plan is to spend two weeks studying an herb, the history, uses, studies on effectiveness, interactions, warnings, all the technical things. Then another two to three weeks studying the recipes and preparations, actually making things to cement the study portion. I'll overlap the study by picking up a new herb to study while working on the preparation of the previous study subject. Sort of my own classroom sort of thing.
My intent is that with better breathing should come better rest and better mental function. I intend to use that to my favor and become an herbalist. I'm also investigating becoming a dietician or a life coach or something of the sort that will work with the herbalism and let me find a career out of tech support. It's a long-term goal, but I think it's time to stop putting off my goals.
I'm also making plans to buy a Bengal kitten this summer. They live a long time, about 20 yrs. So I'm thinking that I'll be getting what may be the last pet I'll ever have. They're good pets for allergic people, and apparently very smart and a little bit wild too. Not like Savannah cat wild, but they haven't lost all their instincts like most domestic cat breeds. They also grow to be pretty large. The photos I've seen of adults are just amazing. They're also reputed to bond closely with their owners and to love to snuggle at night, so double win for me!
Now, to have any of this, I have to not die during the surgery. Thinking on these things keeps the fear at bay and keeps me positive, looking at the outcome, not the terror of the surgery and being put under and having my sinuses basically rebuilt from the inside. I mean, come on, they're cutting out polyps, and they're also cutting out infected and necrotic tissue from the sinus cavities. There's a few other things going on as well, but it's scary stuff for someone who hasn't been in surgery before.
So yes, focus on the future. Life Moving Forward, right? Right!