(no subject)

[lifelessnumb]

It's funny, it's saturday night and I had a couple of plans but instead I decided to just sit at home and do nothing. I called my mom, which made me sad don't know why but it did, I'm feeling a little home sick, I guess.. Earlier today I called my old friend Matt, he didn't pick up as usual and just now called me, it made me sad to hear his voice too. It's been a couple of months since I've talked to him, he lives in fullerton and was my best friend growing up. It's funny, I just kind of realized that out of high school I ditched him, I was selfish and moved out, I couldn't handle my parents and left just like that. We went from seeing each other everyday to talking every now and then. Thats about the time I got together with my girlfriend, Sarah, he came up once, and visited it was a couple of days after his nineteenth birthday and we took him to the Kit kat club, a strip joint in Santa Clara. hahaha. At the time I really didn't think about but we kind of just stopped talking and out of the blue when Sarah and I broke up I called him. (It's funny...we weill neglect and forget those while we're with someone we love and soon as that ends we go back.)We talked like no time had ever gone by us, made jokes, laughed etc.. After Sarah, we kept more in contact but never like when we were growing. Ironically after four years of living up north and him never having a girlfriend, as soon as I moved back he had just gotten his girlfriend. Deep down inside I was not angry but bummed. It's funny though how life works, when I talk to him now it's still the same, it's like nothings ever changed, despite the fact that we will never have the time we had when we were younger.
Blah.. thoughts invade my head like damn ant colony in my kitchen. I hate being in this damn apartment by myself!!!! haha but I do it to myself, I wish the idiot box was working, I'm tired of watching movies.
I miss my dad, it's not like me and him talked on a regular basis, but it sucks knowing he's so fucking far away..