Spilling it all out...and growing out of it...
So as I sit here at 2 in the morning, without any desire to sleep, I keep thinking about the life that I have. And I came to a realization that I am so damn lucky to have what I have, to have lived what I have already lived, and to have accomplished what I've gotten to accomplish. This is just the start...I will strive to continue to pursue my goals until I feel they have been accomplished. But recently, I have been adding new goals into my life... goals that I didn't consider to be of any importance until now. Let me rephrase, goals that I didn't realize where goals until now. These goals are different though. They aren't about me as an individual. They are about me pushing for a life full of happiness for my family. I realized that if I dedicated my time to my family as much as I dedicated my time to myself, I'd be a much better person...and a much happier person. It's not that I don't, but I feel like I've let them down... a lot. And I shouldn't have, because they've always considered me to be such a caring person and yet I've lost so much care for them. I've been scared, mostly because I've been protected and now I've finally cracked out of my shell and have stepped into the real world. But it is time for me to grow up and to know that there's a world out there that I am not aware of. A world that isn't about Brent Michelle Goodman. A world full of feelings and emotions that I must be a part of. Even if they aren't the happiest of feelings. I have to be there. I have to help. This is what we're here for. We are sent to give people a reason to live. But what good is it if you don't share your life with anyone but yourself? All I am saying is that being an individual and having accomplished so much doesn't mean anything if in the end your accomplishments only affect you. I want to be there for them. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to care and I want them to know that I'm here and I will always be. Because when I put it into perspective, they are the reason I am the person who I am today... one of the luckiest people on Earth. What more can I ask for? I shouldn't ask for more... I have what I need.