[Oneshot] A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned (KinKi Crack Fic)
It was a well known fact that Domoto Koichi was cheap. No, cheap wasn't even a proper word for it. He was beyond cheap. He made Ebeneezer Scrooge look like a spend thrift. He--
Well, suffice it to say that even after all their years spent together it still amazed Tsuyoshi some of the lengths he would go to the save a buck.
This, however, had to be one of the worst.
It had started out normally enough, with Koichi interrupting Tsuyoshi's description of his newest fish for an impromptu make out session (a Spanish Common Barbel, to be exact, but Koichi never let him get that far in his explanation). Tsuyoshi suspected that Koichi was more tired of hearing about fish than actually horny, but it was hard to protest with someone's tongue down your throat.
Besides, it wasn't exactly something he wanted to protest at the moment. Especially not when Koichi was doing that thing with his hand. Tsuyoshi made a mental note to ask him exactly where he'd learned that later. It didn't seem like something you could just come up with on your own.
"Koichi...," Tsuyoshi murmured when the other finally broke for air, his lips parted in a slight pant as he arched off the bed. He stared up at the other, a little surprised to find he was naked. That was another trick he was going to have to ask Koichi exactly where he'd learned it later... if he bothered to remember.
"Hold on." Koichi's breathy words and the loss of the other's weight against him sent a slight thrill through Tsuyoshi. He'd spent enough time with Koichi over the years to know where this was heading. The other would slide over the side of the bed, open the nightstand drawer, cursing at the disorder inside as he dug through it. Then he'd finally manage to find what he wanted and slide back over--
-- only, he didn't seem to be digging through the nightstand drawer at all. No, he was most definitely climbing out of bed and leaving the room. In fact, he seemed to be headed for the... kitchen?
"... Koichi?" Tsuyoshi couldn't manage much more of a question than the other's name, Koichi's bizarre behaviour throwing him for a complete loop. He'd put up with some strange things from Koichi over the years, but the other hadn't ever left to get a snack in the middle of foreplay before.
"Be right there," Koichi called back, the distinct sounds of the kitchen cupboard opening and Koichi rifling through its contents pulling Tsuyoshi's lips into a frown. He sat up a little in bed and stared at the doorway, his confusion quickly killing anything else he'd been feeling moments before.
It was less than a minute before Koichi reemerged in the doorway, a strange container in hand and a triumphant look on his face. "Now we can start."
Tsuyoshi just stared at him dumbly, for once at a complete loss as to what to say. His eyes followed Koichi's hand as the other sat said container on the nightstand, and suddenly he realized exactly what was going on.
"You'd better not be thinking what I think you are." Tsuyoshi put a hand up and pushed the other back, blocking an incoming kiss as he ducked out of the way and reached over for the container on the nightstand. He grimaced as he realized, yes, it was exactly what he'd thought it was and turned to give Koichi a glare. "Explain."
Koichi blinked, his brows furrowing slightly as he looked from the other to the container and back again. "I thought it was pretty self-explanatory."
"This is crisco," Tsuyoshi pointed out, his frown deepening as he held the can out and shook it at the other. "Last time I checked Crisco was meant for -cooking-."
"It was on sale." Koichi answered, as if this explained and justified his line of reasoning. "A two for one special."
"... so you thought putting it near my ass would be a good idea because it saved you a few bucks?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, you didn't seem to mind it before."
"What do you mean -before-?" Tsuyoshi shot back, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Well, remember last time we were on Utaban and Nakai said you smelled like french fries--"
Tsuyoshi's face went pale as he laid the crisco down and climbed out of bed to move silently towards the bathroom.
Koichi watched him, his face still slightly confused as Tsuyoshi disappeared behind the bathroom door and he heard the distinct sound of a shower running and something akin to girlish weeping. He climbed out of bed and walked over to stand outside the bathroom door, his expression thoughtful. "Does this mean you don't want to stay for pancakes in the morning?"