(no subject)
Last night was a blast. Nic, Julia, Shannon and I took off to the Drag Ball/ Gay Dance. It has been so long since I have gone to a gay dance. I think the last one was the spring bagly dance. The dance was pretty good, and so was the drag competition. All in all, we danced the night away, and it seemed as though everyone enjoyed themselves. Later in the night, something around 3 am, shit started to go down. The emotions and feeling and words I had been holding in for weeks just came out like word vomit. I talked ot Meg, twice, and then proceeded to talk to robbie. I layed out all my thoughts and feelings in hope they would understand. I have not been confrontational like that in forever. It's just not who i am. But i had to do it. I had to stop feeling like I was being shit on and riped apart. I let my words flow freely and felt so much better after. I'm really trying to change that part of me. The part that is shy and timid and acquiesces to everyone who I am intimidated by. I will no longer sit back and take it; rather i will be confident, the way i should have been from the beginning. I am at much more ease now.
I'm going home in 2 days. I don't know how i feel about it. I love it here and I love the peoplee who i am close with here. It will be great to see my friends for sure. I can't wait to see all of them. I don't want to be home though....not in my house. Ever since i moved away, things with my family have sort of gone sour. My parents like to tear me apart all the time and i just can't handle it. This is not the best time for me to be coming home for an extended period of time. I know that one good thing about going home will be the thought of being able to come back here. I feel like home does that. You want to go home so badly some times but then after a few days there, it makes coming back to school all that better. It'ss sort of sad though...we come back from Thanksgiving break and we have literally 3 weeks of classes until finals. Where did the semester go???
I'm going home in 2 days. I don't know how i feel about it. I love it here and I love the peoplee who i am close with here. It will be great to see my friends for sure. I can't wait to see all of them. I don't want to be home though....not in my house. Ever since i moved away, things with my family have sort of gone sour. My parents like to tear me apart all the time and i just can't handle it. This is not the best time for me to be coming home for an extended period of time. I know that one good thing about going home will be the thought of being able to come back here. I feel like home does that. You want to go home so badly some times but then after a few days there, it makes coming back to school all that better. It'ss sort of sad though...we come back from Thanksgiving break and we have literally 3 weeks of classes until finals. Where did the semester go???