fic: deus ex machina
Title: Deus Ex Machina [god in the machine]
Chapter: Eight
Author: lifeawakening
Words: 7,467
Rating: R (For future scary images, language, and sexual references)
Summary: Rachel Berry always knew that she was a little bit psychic. In fact, Rachel Berry thought she knew just about everything. That is, until a spirit that refused to die entered her life like a train-wreck. It's only after Rachel's fallen in love that she realizes life doesn't exactly go as planned; and neither does death, for that matter.
Quinn sat on the bottom step of her staircase and watched Rachel walk down the hallway, her arms outstretched and her fingertips slowly brushing along the walls as she moved. She reminded Quinn of an airplane; one of the ones that twinkled high up in the night sky. She figured that a bird would be more romantic, but a plane soared higher.
“Are you ready, Quinn?” Rachel asked as she palmed her car keys and turned at the other end of the hall to look back towards Quinn.
Quinn briefly thought about asking Rachel how she had known Quinn was sitting there, but then thought better of it. “Of course. It doesn’t take me as long as it takes you to get ready.”
Winter break in Lima, OH was officially over. That was okay in Quinn’s book, minus the fact that Rachel would be in school instead of haunting Quinn like she had been. Oh, the irony.
“I’m really excited about this,” the ghost admitted as she silently made her way to stand in front of Rachel and gaze down at the brunette.
“As am I, Quinn. How we’ve gone this long without you hearing me sing simply floors me,” Rachel said as she pulled out her cell phone to check the time.
Quinn cocked her head to the side in thought as she pointed out, “Well, I have heard you sing when you’ve been in the kitchen or something - Is that my Jean jacket?”
The question clearly took Rachel off-guard since the busted brunette looked up from her cell phone with a guilt-ridden face. “I-is it? I found it in-”
“My closet,” Quinn said in a bemused tone. It was one of those times when Quinn wished Rachel could see just how high her eyebrow could arch. “How long have you been subtly stealing my clothes?”
Rachel scoffed before shaking her head and pursing her lips. “Quinn,” she began, “it was under your request that I stay over here with you as much as possible so that you could keep an eye on me. It’s unrealistic to expect me to always remember to bring the proper clothes and as such-”
“I think it’s cute,” Quinn cut in softly.
“Yeah?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah,” Quinn affirmed. As Rachel softly gazed up into Quinn’s eyes, Quinn’s smile faltered as she took in the ever-darkening bags under Rachel’s eyes and the way Rachel only smiled with half of her mouth. The ghost reached down and tugged at the lapels of the jacket, simultaneously pulling them together and pulling Rachel closer. “Yeah,” Quinn repeated
----------
Although she didn’t need to, Quinn opted to stick by Rachel’s side that first day back to school after break. It had been the end of the day when Rachel got out of her Spanish class with Quinn in tow.
“I shouldn’t be surprised that winter break has had no advantageous impact on Mr. Schuester’s horrible teaching techniques. I’m fairly certain he thinks ser is the only irregular verb in existence. I mean, we’re in 5-6 for goodness sake!” Rachel ranted on as she clutched her books to her chest and made her way through the busy hall.
Quinn floated on next to her as she dropped her head and smiled fondly, adding, “I was impressed with how he managed to mention the glee club a solid five times and almost make it flow with his lesson.” Rachel let out a genuine laugh but stopped in her tracks next to Quinn, forcing the blond to tear her gaze from Rachel and glare at the interruption. Oh God. Quinn let out a groan as she looked up at Karofsky and Azimio, the resident idiots.
“Shit, Berry,” Karofsky said as he spun a cherry slushie cup around in his hands. Quinn’s teeth clenched together, mimicking her fists as she took a side step closer to Rachel. “They let you out of the mental asylum when you look like that?”
“Am I tripping or was the little freak just talking to herself, too?” Azimio asked Karofsky while keeping his disgusted eyes on Rachel.
The feisty brunette kept her chin held high as she shot them her own disgusted look. “If you two are quite done I have to get to glee club now. You know, the thing that will get me out of this town and away from ignorant bullies like you,” Rachel spat as she tried to brush past them.
“Oh ho ho, hold up freak, you ain’t going nowhere until we’ve properly welcomed you back to McKinley with some free slushie,” Azimio said with a smirk as he and Karofsky lifted the cups in preparation.
Quinn practically snarled in anger as she lurched forward and took the bottom of each cup in one hand and hurled the slushies into the two guy’s faces.
“What the fuck?” Karofsky yelled as he wiped the red goop from his eyes and flung it onto the ground, dropping the cup next to Azimio’s on the white tiles.
“Berry’s fucked up or something dude,” Azimio said as he gaped at Rachel through the slushie and slunk backwards.
Rachel, for her part, kept a smile off of her face as she heard Quinn’s heaving breath next to her again.
“Perhaps that’s karma,” the brunette said with a shrug.
“There’s something fucking wrong with you, freak,” Karofsky said loudly as he pointed a shaking finger at Rachel.
By then the entire scene had drawn a large crowd as students opted to see the exchange instead of heading home. A familiar, angry voice rang through the hall louder than the excited and shocked mindless chatter of the bystanders. “What is going on here?” coach Sylvester asked as she roughly pushed through kids, knocking a few over, and coming to stand behind the two slushied boys.
“This freak slushied us without touching us!” Karofsky shouted with his finger still pointed at Rachel.
Quinn watched Rachel slowly arch one eyebrow and turn to Quinn’s former coach, showing absolutely no fear, surprisingly. “Coach Sylvester, these two were threatening me and somehow their-”
“I don’t want to hear it, Lizzie Borden. All I see are two of my best football players covered in slushie and you standing there with two empty 7-11 cups at your feet,” the taller woman said with her arms crossed over her chest.
Rachel sputtered, “E-excuse me? First of all, Lizzie Borden was an alleged killer so why you are comparing-”
“Have you not looked in a mirror lately? You look like a walking psychopath who has come to my school dressed as a toddler to fool everyone into believing your only threat to us is us getting whiplash from doing a double-take to see if you really are dressed that horrendously. However, clearly your true motive is to derail our entire school system, thus leading to the impending death of us all via the hatchet that you undoubtedly keep strapped to those abnormally long legs under those hideous tights. As an instructor here, I simply cannot allow your serial killer tendencies to continue,” Sue finished in one breath.
Rachel’s mouth hung open in shock while the rest of the bystanders gazed at each other in confusion. Quinn was seething. This woman had lost her mind.
“Show’s over, people!” the coach called out, effectively clearing the crowd. When everyone was gone she turned back to Karofsky and Azimio. “I suggest you two get out of here before she turns you into toads.”
“This is unbelievable!” Quinn snapped and yelled in a rage. Coach Sylvester’s head whipped around to face Quinn at the same time Rachel’s head whipped around to face Sue.
“Who said that?” Sue whispered. Rachel looked stunned at the shock on the usually stoic coach’s face.
“W-who said what?” Rachel said in equal shock.
“Oh my God,” Quinn whispered.
Sue’s eyes widened as she stared at the space next to Rachel, where Quinn stood, and breathed out, “Impossible.”
----------
Rachel turned her body to follow Sue’s gaze - turning to face Quinn. Maybe it was because Rachel had been around Quinn for half of a year at that point, but she could never figure out how people only ever saw empty space where Quinn’s presence was. No matter what, Rachel saw something where Quinn stood; a ripple in her breath, a reflection against the particles in the air, Rachel always saw something. Or maybe it was all in her mind. Regardless, the way Sue was staring at Quinn made Rachel think that maybe, just maybe, Sue saw what she did.
“Coach Sylvester-”
“Not a word, Rachel,” Sue snapped quietly with no real malice in her voice. She was cautiously moving towards Quinn as if in a spell.
“Don’t speak to her like that,” Rachel heard Quinn say from in front of her. Rachel could hear the fear, the trepidation in Quinn’s voice laced with the anger that the reflex of protecting Rachel brought out of her.
“This is impossible. Rachel, what the hell is going on here?” Sue snapped as her eyes searched the space where Quinn stood.
Rachel heard Quinn snap back with, “I said don’t talk to her like that, coach.”
Rachel watched the wheels turn in Sue’s eyes and after a moment of perfect clarity, and with a dull thud, Sue Sylvester passed out. Rachel immediately moved to her side but was pulled away gently by Quinn. “She’ll be fine Rachel, come on, we need to get out of here now,” the ghost urged as she tugged at Rachel’s hand.
Rachel didn’t want to leave the unconscious coach, but one glance over to Karofsky and Azimio - Crap, they were still there? - and seeing their horrified expressions got Rachel’s feet moving as she let Quinn pull her away. The brunette cast a pleading look to the boys in hopes that they’d be too scared to tell the entire school about what just happened. She knew it didn’t matter, though; within hours the entire school would know that Rachel Berry was haunted and somehow used her powers to knock the coach out. She was screwed.
“Come on, let’s get to the choir room,” Rachel said as she turned towards where Quinn was leading them.
The slap of Rachel’s flats echoed loudly around them as she ran through the empty halls of McKinley with Quinn by her side. As they skidded around a corner Rachel heard Quinn forcing herself to breathe. Rachel heard Quinn sigh in relief when she recognized the choir room door. Rachel heard Quinn, apparently just like coach Sylvester had.
----------
Quinn watched Rachel throw open the choir room door and linger in the doorway, making a show of standing there to check the clock when in reality she was keeping it open long enough for Quinn to walk through. It was a corporeal day, after all.
“I’m terribly sorry that I’m late on our first day back, fellow gleeks, however-”
“It’s fine, Rachel, just sit down,” Mr. Schuester, the crappy Spanish teacher said as he interrupted Rachel. Quinn frowned at him as she slowly followed behind Rachel to the red plastic chairs on the risers.
Quinn knew the names of everyone in the glee club. There was Finn who had waved at Rachel as soon as they made eye contact. Then Puck, who smiled at Rachel. Quinn smiled at him. She recognized the girl sitting next to Puck as Lauren, the only girl on the wrestling team. Then there was Brittany, one of the Cheerios, who was sitting next to one of the wheelchair kids; Quinn thought his name was Artie. Speaking of Brittany…aha. Quinn spotted Santana, sitting a few spots away from Brittany, staring longingly at the blonde. Then there was Tina and her boyfriend, Mike - the two that had walked through her that day in the library. Rude. Mercedes was in the front next to the kid who always got bullied for wearing corsets, Kurt. She liked them both. Last was the new kid, Sam. He seemed nice despite the rumors of him being gay. Quinn didn’t buy them, anyway.
The ghost knew everyone in the club, and she had liked them well enough up until that moment. The moment when Rachel walked into the room and most of them sneered or looked disgusted. Quinn thought back on how none of them would help Rachel during winter break when she wanted to keep practicing with the club. Charming.
“Holy sweet hell, troll, what drugs did you get for Hanukkah? You look like a starved junkie; I would know, Lima Heights Adjacent is covered in ‘em,” Santana commented as Rachel sat down near the back. Quinn sat down next to her and lowered her gaze at Santana.
“It’s called lack of sleep, Santana,” Rachel shot back dryly, “it’s what happens when you spend hours preparing for competitions. It’s not easy being the best.” Quinn smiled at Rachel and shook her head. It was never simple with that girl, even when it came to her lies.
Puck shot Rachel a sympathetic look and Lauren piped up, “Shut it, Lopez. We all know Lima Heights Adjacent is one of the richest neighborhoods in town.” Everyone snickered and Quinn watched Santana’s eyebrows shoot up as she began to rebut.
“That’s enough, everyone,” Mr. Schue said, holding a finger up in Santana’s direction and shooting her a warning look. He ran over to the whiteboard at the front of the classroom and in large letters wrote the word Regionals. “This is what we have to focus on. Not Rachel looking like a druggie or Santana’s housing situation.”
What the hell? Quinn thought as she reached over and laid a comforting hand on Rachel’s shoulder. The blond shook her head and allowed her thoughts to travel back on what had happened minutes prior, letting the curly-haired guy’s ramblings float to the back of her mind.
Coach Sylvester had heard her. As if some giant switch had been flipped, her old coach could suddenly hear her. It’s not like Quinn hadn’t tried to talk to her before. She had, many times. As if something had happened and now…. Quinn turned her head and gazed at Rachel’s profile. After a moment, Rachel turned to look at Quinn. The brunette couldn’t even muster up a smile. Now her coach could hear her. Now that Rachel was there. It was as if now that Rachel was getting worse, and the life was basically being drained from her, Quinn was growing stronger. Oh, God. A light bulb flipped on in Quinn’s mind. “Oh, God.”
“What?” Rachel asked under her breath, eyebrows furrowed together, looking confused.
Quinn’s gaze darted back and forth across Rachel’s features in shock. Is that what was happening? Were Rachel and her really tied together so tightly that when one lost life, the other gained it?
“Nothing,” Quinn lied. This had to end. Quinn had to do something.
----------
A small hand darted straight up and didn’t waver until Mr. Schue reluctantly acknowledged it. “Yes, Rachel?”
“I have a song that I would like to perform for the glee club. I feel that it could really boost the morale of the club after such a long break of not singing and not caring,” Rachel said sternly as she stood up and pulled at the sleeve ends of Quinn’s jacket.
“Fine, Rachel,” Mr. Schue said grudgingly as he flopped down in the stool next to the piano. Rachel really did dislike that man sometimes.
“Brad,” Rachel beamed, “Grenade, B-flat.” The brunette turned away from the man with the beard at the piano and faced the choir room. Sure, she thought Bruno Mars’ song was a bit dramatic, what with the attempted death threat via military weaponry in it. However, she loved the meaning behind it and it certainly was catchy. Rachel had planned to sing this song the day Quinn came with her. She planned to sing it to Quinn, and she hoped Quinn would catch on.
Ever since their first kiss, Rachel hadn’t been able to talk to Quinn about her feelings towards her. Not for lack of feelings on Rachel’s part, or lack of understanding for that matter. Sure, Rachel had fallen for a ghost. That was a given. On top of it all, Rachel thought as she scanned the judgmental and bored faces in front of her, it’s not like she was shy about admitting love. Rachel just felt like no time had been the right time to tell Quinn - well, that she loved her.
When the piano music reached her ears and the band member’s instruments kicked into play, Rachel let everything go and focused solely on the song. As the captain of the glee club she had to boost moral, she did. But, as Rachel Berry, she needed to sing the song to Quinn. And so she did.
----------
Quinn had never been the biggest Bruno Mars fan. His music was fine, but the only time she had been able to hear it had been on the radio and his songs had been so overplayed that Quinn winced every time Just the Way You Are came on.
That didn’t matter at that moment, though. It didn’t matter that Quinn had heard Grenade five times the day before. As Rachel stood in front of the room and held her hand to her heart and hit those notes, it wasn’t Bruno’s song anymore; it was Rachel’s song and Rachel’s alone. Not only was it Rachel’s song, Quinn realized as she slowly raised her head and met Rachel’s gaze, but it was Rachel’s song to Quinn.
Quinn never once wondered why she had never snuck into the choir room before then to watch these kids perform. It didn’t matter to her because it would be the same reason why she had known everyone in the school aside from Rachel until the day she met her. It would be the same reason why no one had heard Quinn speak until Rachel did. Nothing happened until Rachel did. Quinn had seen a lot in her life and she had seen far more in her “after-life” but nothing, nothing compared to seeing Rachel perform. The way the brunette’s chest heaved and the way her eyes slid closed and the way her voice made Quinn feel. When tears began to trail down Rachel’s cheeks Quinn had to wipe her own away.
Quinn watched Rachel’s eyes open and through her teary gaze her chocolate eyes found hazel ones, just like they always managed to. When they locked eyes Quinn felt the same peace wash over her that she had the day she heard Rachel’s voice after becoming visible. Four minutes of perfect peace left Quinn wondering if maybe she was wrong about her Hell theory. No one could have that voice and not be an angel, she decided.
It was such a shame that Rachel never got to finish the song, though.
----------
It wasn’t until the final crescendo of the song hit that Rachel saw him standing in the back of the room on the back of the risers. The tiny brunette hoped that her audience thought her tears were her typical singing-a-solo tears and that her hands shaking were from the strength that she was putting into the song.
Both were lies, of course. The man standing in the back of the risers wasn’t a man at all. It was the same thing that had appeared at the bottom of her staircase and the same figure that had been haunting her nightmares for weeks; it was an Ombra.
It stared at her and Rachel stared back. Where its eyes should have been were the screams of every tormented soul it’d ever encountered. The face seemed to collapse into itself and regenerate every other second, creating a sort of black hole. A blacker shadow of a mouth curved up into a petrifying grin and Rachel’s ears were once again filled with a rushing wind tunnel sound.
Her chest began to tighten and her voice cracked as the microphone in her hand dropped and Rachel’s knees followed a second later with a dull thud that barely registered to her. Rachel could only focus on repeating one name over and over in her mind before everything went black.
“Quinn.”
----------
“Quinn!” left Rachel’s lips in a strangled breath before the brunette’s torso met the floor as she blacked out.
“No!” Quinn yelled as she shot out of the chair and pushed her way through the frenzied gleeks and dropped to Rachel’s side. She felt a twinge of something and a hiss ripped through the blond’s body as she turned and saw the Ombra. The ghost had sensed that something was wrong when Rachel started to waver both in her song and in her stance. Then everything went downhill so fast and -
“Rachel?” Puck asked as he slid to his knees next to the brunette on the floor. Quinn looked from the Ombra to Puck in surprise before realization dawned on her. Half of the kids in the room were trying to figure out what had pushed them out of the way and the other half were trying to figure out what had happened to Rachel and who to call. She saw Mr. Schue desperately yelling into his cell phone and before she knew it, a large figure was knocking into her.
“Shit, sorr-” Finn froze and his eyes widened, “Q-Quinn?”
Quinn regained her balance and ignored Finn as she looked to Puck. She had to test it. “Puckerman, I need you to help me get her out of this room now,” she snapped, silently praying.
Puck’s eyes widened but he nodded nonetheless, “All right, Quinn.” Awesome.
“Finn?”
The taller boy was still frozen in shock as he hastily tried to control his shaky speech, “Y-yeah?”
Now wasn’t the time to question anything, Quinn thought as she watched Puck lift Rachel up into his arms. “You need to make sure that no one comes after us.”
He might have been a goofy jock, but Finn knew when he had to take charge. “Got it. Quinn?”
The blond looked up from worriedly studying Rachel’s comatose face to impatiently cast Finn a glance, “What?” she asked as she looked back to where the Ombra had been. Gone.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but take care of Rachel.”
“I‘ll die trying, Finn.”
----------
Rachel wasn’t sure if she was dead or not. She felt warm, warmer than she had been able to feel in those past few weeks. She vaguely remembered being knocked out by a horrible pain.
Rachel assumed she was dreaming (if not dead) as she seemed to float through the darkness of her mind. She could hear Quinn’s voice whispering reassuringly into her ear and, oddly enough, Noah as well.
Quinn’s voice was soothing to Rachel, but something on the cusp of her mind was troubling. Something in her dream that she was trying to avoid by running. She was running but it was gaining, fast. Rachel couldn’t run fast enough.
----------
“Breathe,” Quinn whispered. Quinn knew they had to get Rachel out of the building, and Puck’s first idea had been the football field, so they ran with it. Literally.
In the middle of the field with Rachel laid out on the football player’s bench with Puck’s letterman jacket under her head, Quinn kept her eyes on Rachel. The ghost slowly lowered herself to her knees next to Rachel’s head and placed a hand on the brunette’s chest. Her soft lips grazed Rachel’s ear as she whispered again, “Breathe, Rachel, wake up.”
Puck kicked at the dirt of the field behind her and shivered against the chilly January air. It was overcast and eerie and everything was still. Still as death, Quinn thought. Quinn leaned up and laid her forehead against Rachel’s. She was hardly breathing and Quinn didn’t know what to do. She didn’t think she could breathe life back into Rachel because Quinn didn’t have any life to spare.
“Is she dead?” Puck asked from behind Quinn. He sounded terrified.
“Not yet,” Quinn said, her voice hollow.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on here, Q. But it just figures that Berry was the one who found you. There had to have been a reason for it, right? You two are like, connected. So, you have to be able to do something to help her,” Puck finished, staring intently at Quinn.
Quinn raised her head and met Puck’s eyes. How did people find her eyes when they couldn’t see her? “You really think I can save her, Puck? I’m the reason she’s like this,” Quinn snapped as she watched his determined expression fall.
“Bullshit,” Puck snapped back, taking a step forward, “Quinn you died ten years ago. Yet here you are in the middle of a football field with Rachel Berry and the little brother of the dude who killed you. If that’s not some form of fate then I’ll suck my own dick.”
Quinn made a face as she dropped her forehead back down to Rachel’s. With less than half of an inch of space between the girl’s eyes, Quinn opened hers and gazed at Rachel. Her lips grazed the brunette’s as she pleadingly whispered one last time, “Breathe, Rachel.”
----------
Rachel’s eyes fluttered open as she started in her bed. No, not her bed. Quinn’s bed. There was a soft sigh of relief to her right and Rachel turned her head and - froze.
Rachel stared into the most gorgeous pair of hazel eyes that she’d ever seen. “Quinn you’re-”
“I know,” Quinn said achingly, “I saw.”
“This is wonderful!” Rachel said excitedly as she tried to sit up. She didn’t understand the look of affliction that passed over Quinn’s features.
“Now that you’re awake we need to talk, Rachel,” the blond said seriously.
Rachel’s happiness faded as she searched Quinn’s eyes with her own. Nodding slowly, the tiny brunette slid over in the bed and made room for Quinn, who crawled in silently.
Rachel cautiously eyed the blond’s stoic face before rolling to her side and gripping onto Quinn’s flimsy green cardigan. She could see Quinn. She could feel Quinn. She could hear Quinn. There was no reason for Quinn to be as upset as she was, Rachel thought, as she gently laid her head down on Quinn’s chest. Still no heartbeat.
“Do you understand what happened to you in the choir room today, Rachel?”
“I was attacked by an Ombra, again, Quinn.”
“What happened?”
“There was a rushing in my ears and it hurt my head, but that happened last time too,” Rachel recalled, “then my chest became extraordinarily tight and that hurt. I couldn’t breathe very well, and then if I’m remembering this right, I passed out.”
“You said my name before you passed out. Everyone heard. I pushed through some of the glee kids to get to you, and they felt me. I had Finn distract them - which, by the way, he can hear me now. As can Puck, and apparently coach Sylvester - and then I got Puck to carry you out. I had to get you out of the building so we took you to the football field. His idea,” Quinn stated with an eye roll.
“I dreamt that you were whispering reassurances into my ear.”
“I was telling you to breathe.”
“Was I not?”
“Barely.”
Rachel remained quiet, processing. “Go on.”
“After a few minutes you began to breathe again. Pretty much the same time that Puck passed out and I realized I was visible,” Quinn bit out, “I got him up and we brought you here. Finn handled the glee club, but I don’t know how. Your dads, Finn, and Puck are downstairs.”
Rachel looked up into Quinn’s eyes. “My fathers are down there?”
Quinn nodded slowly. “I told them everything. Now they’re researching what I asked them to.”
“The Ombra?”
Rachel felt Quinn’s throat flex and she looked up to see the ghost blinking back tears. “Exorcisms.”
The brunette’s head snapped up and her bangs fell into her eyes. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes and she tried, and failed, to catch Quinn’s gaze as she whispered, “For the Ombra, right? That’s how we’ll get rid of them?”
Quinn stared at the wall across the room for too long before meeting Rachel’s eyes. Rachel tightened her grip on the cardigan that didn’t feel like a cardigan because, Rachel painfully thought, it didn’t really exist. “Don’t lie to me,” she whispered.
“I think we’re pretty much past that point, Rachel.”
“You’re leaving,” Rachel vocalized. Quinn said nothing, just kept their gazes locked. Rachel’s everything shut down. She didn’t feel. She didn’t want to feel. Anything. Letting go of Quinn, the brunette sat up, immediately shooting an arm behind her to steady herself; she was still shaky from the whole experience.
“Come on, then,” Rachel said as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She looked over her shoulder enough to see Quinn’s body still lying in bed, “I have all of the research for exorcisms bookmarked in my laptop. I assume you brought my backpack here.”
If Quinn was surprised by Rachel’s reaction, she didn’t show it. However, Rachel thought, isn’t that the game they were playing, anyway? Quinn wanted to leave, fine. It was her loss. Rachel didn’t need to hear the illogical excuse behind it. Quinn wanted to leave, that was all that was registering in Rachel’s mind.
“Rachel,” Quinn said calmly as the brunette made her way towards the bedroom door.
“What, Quinn?” Rachel snapped, letting her indifferent mask slip to show her anger, “If you want to leave then why are we still standing around discussing it? Wasting time seems inconsequential now, don’t you think?”
“Stop it, Rachel,” Quinn commanded loudly, “You're being irrational. Just listen to me!”
“Why should I, Quinn Fabray? You got right to the point, so there’s nothing more to be said,” Rachel said, crossing her arms and holding her chin up high.
Quinn stared back as her eyes hardened. Rachel watched her stand up and face the brunette. “As if I would just decide to leave you by choice,” Quinn said.
“Are you being forced to?” Rachel asked seriously, “Because if you think that this is for the greater good then-”
“Do you love me?” Quinn interrupted. Rachel froze. “It’s a simple question,” Quinn continued, taking a step forward.
Rachel gaped at Quinn. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Quinn’s. She couldn’t, until she did. Rachel’s eyes dropped as her head turned away. She closed her eyes. Of course, Rachel thought, of course I do. Why couldn’t she say it?
After forty agonizing seconds of silence Rachel opened her eyes and looked to Quinn again, who looked like she hadn’t looked away from Rachel. Like she never wanted to tear her gaze from Rachel. Until she did.
Rachel watched in horror as Quinn, for the first time since she’d known her, did something that illustrated that she was a ghost. Quinn turned and walked through the wall wordlessly, her face passing through her senior picture that hung there. Rachel knew that Quinn had always gone out of her way to use doors and floors, anything to make her feel more human. Had Rachel hurt her that badly? Why was Quinn acting like a ghost now?
“Of course,” Rachel whispered brokenly to the empty room.
----------
Rachel’s bare feet padded against the floor of the hallway before she paused at the top of Quinn’s stairs. A floor below she heard Leroy arguing with Puck and Finn over what to eat during their research break, and who was going to go get a pizza. She heard Hiram typing away at, what Rachel could only guess was, her laptop. They were all sitting in the kitchen; well, all but Quinn, who was sitting at the bottom of the staircase. The same way she had been that morning. Rachel thought that felt like an eternity ago.
The brunette watched the blond watch the men in the kitchen. Quinn’s back was hunched and her head was dipped down. She was tangling her hands together in her lap. Sitting there thinking Rachel didn’t love her. Rachel reluctantly turned away and padded over to the bathroom to check her reflection.
Pressing her hand against the cold glass Rachel wished Quinn would appear behind her like she did before. She craved the ghost’s touch; she craved the comfort. A small hand traced the harsh bags under her eyes and her sunken cheeks. Rachel wasn’t an idiot, she knew something bad was happening to her. She knew the Ombra were hurting her, that they were the bad guys and Quinn wanted to be the hero. She just didn’t see how the blond leaving her alone would save her.
----------
Hiram scrolled through another page on exorcisms, pulled a disgusted look, and shut the laptop lid. Quinn watched him stand up and silently make his way from the kitchen to sit next to her on the stairs.
“When Rachel was three years old she decided that she was a princess,” the older man said as he took off his glasses and began cleaning them on his shirt.
Quinn smiled softly as she ducked her head and began picking at her chipped nail polish, imagining a little Rachel running around with a tiara on her head and a pink wand in her hand.
Hiram kept his glasses off and focused on the door at the end of the hall as he continued, “Ever since that day Rachel’s been, for lack of a better description, a little introverted and selfish. Not to say that she isn’t also incredibly selfless, because she is. Far more so now that she’s made friends. Well, she calls them friends at least,” he said with a raise of an eyebrow that let Quinn know what he thought of Rachel’s “friends”. She loved this man.
“When she was six we drove by a horrible car wreck,” Hiram began, putting his glasses back on and focusing on Quinn who was still focused on her nails, “a young man was pulled out of the wreck, still alive. No other body was ever recovered, but then again, the car did explode shortly after.”
Quinn let out a forced, shaky breath as she finally looked up at Hiram. “Did you ever see your body, Quinn?” Quinn shook her head in the negative, wondering where this was coming from. “Have you ever even been to the graveyard that you’re buried at?”
“No,” Quinn said as her mouth ran dry.
“Would you like to?”
----------
Quinn and Hiram snuck out of the house unnoticed as the other three men continued to argue over pizza and Rachel remained upstairs. “This is a beautiful house, Quinn, you’ve kept it in amazing shape,” Hiram commented as he closed the door behind them and pulled his jacket closer to him.
Quinn shrugged on a Jean jacket that appeared in the air behind her as she nodded, “Thank you.”
Quinn threw a glance up to her bedroom window but didn’t see Rachel.
Once they were in the Berry’s car, Hiram steered them towards the west.
“How do you know where I’m-where the grave is?” Quinn asked quietly and politely as possible; however, she didn't know how polite someone could be when asking that question, or if a question like that had ever even been asked before.
“The power of Google, dear,” Hiram said as he tossed a small smile Quinn’s way.
More silence followed as they drove through the darkened streets of Lima. It was late, late enough that mothers had called their children in and fathers were pulling into their driveways after a long day of work. Quinn glared into the brightly lit suburban windows as the car rolled by them. Screw them all for having peace. Quinn would give anything to bring back Christmas day with Rachel and happiness and now...everything was just happening so fast.
“Here we are,” Hiram said as he put the car into park in front of a pair of tall, iron doors that bled into a fence that stretched into the darkness. It was a huge graveyard, the biggest - and nicest - in town. Quinn silently gave her mother props for caring enough to go all out.
“Will you be okay?” Hiram asked as he shut the headlights off.
Quinn laughed sharply and looked back at him, “I’m pretty sure I will be, yes, Mr. Berry. What could possibly happen to me?”
Hiram merely smiled sadly at Quinn as she exited the car and passed through the iron fence.
She had taken ten steps in when she realized she should have asked Hiram where exactly the gravesite was. Oh well, she thought. Quinn needed no light as she let off a ghostly glow making her way between the grave spaces, reading the names that were etched into each stone. Quinn silently wondered if she would run into any other spirits on her little trip.
Finally, in what Quinn could tell was a nicer area, a richer one, she stumbled upon a marble headstone that was almost as tall as her. Quinn placed her hands into the pockets of the jacket and bent over a bit to read the engraving.
“Quinn Lucy Fabray,” she said, biting the inside of her cheek a bit before continuing, “taken from us too early at age sixteen. Forever beautiful. Rest in peace. May 27, 1984 - October 24, 2000.” The ghost pulled a hand out of her pocket and traced the engraving of the gardenia that wound around her name and the dates. “Pretty, mom,” Quinn said with a small smile. Quinn bent down and reached through the grass on the grave to pull up a handful of dirt that slipped through her fingers seconds later. She wondered what they buried since her body was never found.
There was the sound of crunching leaves behind her but Quinn stayed still; she knew who it was.
Hiram slowly knelt down beside Quinn and scanned the headstone.
“Forever beautiful is completely accurate,” stated Rachel’s father.
Quinn smiled softly down at the ground, “Thank you, Mr. Berry.”
“You know I told you to call me Hiram,” he corrected her. Quinn nodded and the two stayed where they were.
“Rachel has had her selfless moments, like I said before,” Hiram started again and Quinn silently wondered where he was going with this, “but I’ve never seen her give herself to someone before.”
This got Quinn’s attention. “What about Finn?”
Hiram shook his head, “She tried to change him and he tried to change her. She loved the idea of him, sure, but when push came to shove, Rachel wouldn’t give up a solo for him.”
“You think she’d do that for me?” Quinn asked in amusement.
“She did today, didn’t she?” Hiram asked in return.
Quinn stared hard into the man’s brown eyes that looked so much like Rachel’s. Too much like Rachel’s; she could see that even in the darkness. “What are you saying, Hiram?”
“I’m saying that I know what you’re doing. I know that you think Rachel’s dying and that it’s somehow your fault. That if you never came into her life this wouldn’t be happening to her right now,” he said flatly, disregarding Quinn’s shocked expression. “I know that you think if you move on, Quinn, Rachel will be saved. I’m not here to tell you that’s not true, because I don’t know if it is or not. Up until a month or so ago I didn’t even know if ghosts really existed.”
“I didn’t even know if I really existed until Rachel heard me,” Quinn quietly admitted.
“I didn’t know if Rachel could ever love someone more than she loves herself until you came into her life, Quinn,” Hiram said firmly.
He stood up and brushed his hands off before extending a hand down to Quinn. He helped her up and placed his large hands on her shoulders. “I can’t tell you what to do because I don’t know, Quinn. This is the family’s first time dealing with the spiritual world like this. I do know that Rachel needs help, and I do know that you leaving will hurt her. But maybe it’s for the greater good. All I can say is that regardless of what happens, you’ve become like a daughter to me, and I love you as such. I’ll support you in your choice and help you to the extent of my abilities, but I will not help you kill yourself to save Rachel.”
“How can I kill myself when I’m already dead, Mr. Berry?” Quinn questioned in frustration.
“How can you be so sure that you’re nothing more than a ghost, Quinn?”
----------
Rachel’s head snapped up from the dining room table when she heard the front door open. Hiram walked in followed by Quinn.
“Where have you two been?” Leroy asked hurriedly as he rushed up to his husband and looked down at him and Quinn in concern.
“We just needed to have a little talk,” Hiram said with a smile in Quinn’s direction. Rachel watched Quinn do her best to smile back at her dad.
Puck and Finn had left minutes before claiming they needed to get home before their moms killed them. Rachel had spent the remaining time convinced that Quinn had somehow convinced Hiram to take her somewhere to get the exorcism performed right then. The relief she felt when Quinn walked through that door must have been written all over her face, for when Quinn looked at her, her gaze softened.
“So, what do we do, then…?” Leroy asked slowly, sadly looking from Quinn to Hiram.
“Nothing tonight,” Quinn said, interrupting Hiram. Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I need to think about everything and weigh my options before I do anything permanent,” Quinn finished.
“Then we’ll be heading home,” Hiram said, squeezing his husband’s hand as a signal for I’ll-tell-you-everything-when-we’re-alone.
Leroy nodded and laid a large hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “We’ll see you tomorrow then, Quinn. You know where we are if you need us. Rachel, we’ll be in the car.” And with that they left, leaving the two girls alone like that had been that very moment. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Rachel stood in the kitchen, unmoved, and stared at Quinn who was still in the doorway. “Where did you two go?” she asked softly.
“To my grave,” Quinn said matter-of-fact like, “and we talked.”
Rachel ached to ask questions. What advice could her dad have possibly had for Quinn? Had he helped? “Was that the first time you’d been to your grave?” she asked instead.
“Yes,” Quinn answered.
Rachel hated the awkwardness that hung in the air. She wanted to make it go away. Was that even possible at that point? Had Rachel ruined everything?
“I’ll get going then,” the brunette said in defeat as she headed around the table and gingerly past Quinn in the doorway.
Rachel made a move to pick up the Jean jacket - the fact that Quinn was also wearing it hadn’t escaped her notice - but stilled her hand right before she grabbed onto the rough fabric.
“Take it,” Quinn said gently, “It’s not like I need it anymore. I have however many copies of it that I need.”
Rachel stared at the jacket as tears welled up in her eyes. She closed her hand around empty air and quickly left the house, leaving the jacket on the coat rack and Quinn alone in the kitchen doorway.
Rachel quickly made her way off of the Fabray porch and past the cherry tree and away from Quinn. She could only hope that Quinn made the right choice. Even if Rachel had no idea what the right choice was, anymore.
----------
Quinn waited until she heard the roaring of the car engine before she moved out of the doorway. It had taken every ounce of willpower that she had to not chase after Rachel. To not pull the brunette into her arms and tell her how much she loved her, and how she never wanted to leave her.
But she couldn’t do that. Quinn loved Rachel, which is why she needed to save her. In Quinn’s arms was probably the worst place for Rachel to be, the most unsafe.
Tears welled up in the blond’s eyes as she rapidly blinked them away. Leaning against her sink with her head dropped between her arms, Quinn took in deep, shaking breaths. Of course Rachel couldn’t tell Quinn that she loved her. Quinn should have expected that. Who could ever possibly fall in love with a ghost?
Chapter: Eight
Author: lifeawakening
Words: 7,467
Rating: R (For future scary images, language, and sexual references)
Summary: Rachel Berry always knew that she was a little bit psychic. In fact, Rachel Berry thought she knew just about everything. That is, until a spirit that refused to die entered her life like a train-wreck. It's only after Rachel's fallen in love that she realizes life doesn't exactly go as planned; and neither does death, for that matter.
Quinn sat on the bottom step of her staircase and watched Rachel walk down the hallway, her arms outstretched and her fingertips slowly brushing along the walls as she moved. She reminded Quinn of an airplane; one of the ones that twinkled high up in the night sky. She figured that a bird would be more romantic, but a plane soared higher.
“Are you ready, Quinn?” Rachel asked as she palmed her car keys and turned at the other end of the hall to look back towards Quinn.
Quinn briefly thought about asking Rachel how she had known Quinn was sitting there, but then thought better of it. “Of course. It doesn’t take me as long as it takes you to get ready.”
Winter break in Lima, OH was officially over. That was okay in Quinn’s book, minus the fact that Rachel would be in school instead of haunting Quinn like she had been. Oh, the irony.
“I’m really excited about this,” the ghost admitted as she silently made her way to stand in front of Rachel and gaze down at the brunette.
“As am I, Quinn. How we’ve gone this long without you hearing me sing simply floors me,” Rachel said as she pulled out her cell phone to check the time.
Quinn cocked her head to the side in thought as she pointed out, “Well, I have heard you sing when you’ve been in the kitchen or something - Is that my Jean jacket?”
The question clearly took Rachel off-guard since the busted brunette looked up from her cell phone with a guilt-ridden face. “I-is it? I found it in-”
“My closet,” Quinn said in a bemused tone. It was one of those times when Quinn wished Rachel could see just how high her eyebrow could arch. “How long have you been subtly stealing my clothes?”
Rachel scoffed before shaking her head and pursing her lips. “Quinn,” she began, “it was under your request that I stay over here with you as much as possible so that you could keep an eye on me. It’s unrealistic to expect me to always remember to bring the proper clothes and as such-”
“I think it’s cute,” Quinn cut in softly.
“Yeah?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah,” Quinn affirmed. As Rachel softly gazed up into Quinn’s eyes, Quinn’s smile faltered as she took in the ever-darkening bags under Rachel’s eyes and the way Rachel only smiled with half of her mouth. The ghost reached down and tugged at the lapels of the jacket, simultaneously pulling them together and pulling Rachel closer. “Yeah,” Quinn repeated
----------
Although she didn’t need to, Quinn opted to stick by Rachel’s side that first day back to school after break. It had been the end of the day when Rachel got out of her Spanish class with Quinn in tow.
“I shouldn’t be surprised that winter break has had no advantageous impact on Mr. Schuester’s horrible teaching techniques. I’m fairly certain he thinks ser is the only irregular verb in existence. I mean, we’re in 5-6 for goodness sake!” Rachel ranted on as she clutched her books to her chest and made her way through the busy hall.
Quinn floated on next to her as she dropped her head and smiled fondly, adding, “I was impressed with how he managed to mention the glee club a solid five times and almost make it flow with his lesson.” Rachel let out a genuine laugh but stopped in her tracks next to Quinn, forcing the blond to tear her gaze from Rachel and glare at the interruption. Oh God. Quinn let out a groan as she looked up at Karofsky and Azimio, the resident idiots.
“Shit, Berry,” Karofsky said as he spun a cherry slushie cup around in his hands. Quinn’s teeth clenched together, mimicking her fists as she took a side step closer to Rachel. “They let you out of the mental asylum when you look like that?”
“Am I tripping or was the little freak just talking to herself, too?” Azimio asked Karofsky while keeping his disgusted eyes on Rachel.
The feisty brunette kept her chin held high as she shot them her own disgusted look. “If you two are quite done I have to get to glee club now. You know, the thing that will get me out of this town and away from ignorant bullies like you,” Rachel spat as she tried to brush past them.
“Oh ho ho, hold up freak, you ain’t going nowhere until we’ve properly welcomed you back to McKinley with some free slushie,” Azimio said with a smirk as he and Karofsky lifted the cups in preparation.
Quinn practically snarled in anger as she lurched forward and took the bottom of each cup in one hand and hurled the slushies into the two guy’s faces.
“What the fuck?” Karofsky yelled as he wiped the red goop from his eyes and flung it onto the ground, dropping the cup next to Azimio’s on the white tiles.
“Berry’s fucked up or something dude,” Azimio said as he gaped at Rachel through the slushie and slunk backwards.
Rachel, for her part, kept a smile off of her face as she heard Quinn’s heaving breath next to her again.
“Perhaps that’s karma,” the brunette said with a shrug.
“There’s something fucking wrong with you, freak,” Karofsky said loudly as he pointed a shaking finger at Rachel.
By then the entire scene had drawn a large crowd as students opted to see the exchange instead of heading home. A familiar, angry voice rang through the hall louder than the excited and shocked mindless chatter of the bystanders. “What is going on here?” coach Sylvester asked as she roughly pushed through kids, knocking a few over, and coming to stand behind the two slushied boys.
“This freak slushied us without touching us!” Karofsky shouted with his finger still pointed at Rachel.
Quinn watched Rachel slowly arch one eyebrow and turn to Quinn’s former coach, showing absolutely no fear, surprisingly. “Coach Sylvester, these two were threatening me and somehow their-”
“I don’t want to hear it, Lizzie Borden. All I see are two of my best football players covered in slushie and you standing there with two empty 7-11 cups at your feet,” the taller woman said with her arms crossed over her chest.
Rachel sputtered, “E-excuse me? First of all, Lizzie Borden was an alleged killer so why you are comparing-”
“Have you not looked in a mirror lately? You look like a walking psychopath who has come to my school dressed as a toddler to fool everyone into believing your only threat to us is us getting whiplash from doing a double-take to see if you really are dressed that horrendously. However, clearly your true motive is to derail our entire school system, thus leading to the impending death of us all via the hatchet that you undoubtedly keep strapped to those abnormally long legs under those hideous tights. As an instructor here, I simply cannot allow your serial killer tendencies to continue,” Sue finished in one breath.
Rachel’s mouth hung open in shock while the rest of the bystanders gazed at each other in confusion. Quinn was seething. This woman had lost her mind.
“Show’s over, people!” the coach called out, effectively clearing the crowd. When everyone was gone she turned back to Karofsky and Azimio. “I suggest you two get out of here before she turns you into toads.”
“This is unbelievable!” Quinn snapped and yelled in a rage. Coach Sylvester’s head whipped around to face Quinn at the same time Rachel’s head whipped around to face Sue.
“Who said that?” Sue whispered. Rachel looked stunned at the shock on the usually stoic coach’s face.
“W-who said what?” Rachel said in equal shock.
“Oh my God,” Quinn whispered.
Sue’s eyes widened as she stared at the space next to Rachel, where Quinn stood, and breathed out, “Impossible.”
----------
Rachel turned her body to follow Sue’s gaze - turning to face Quinn. Maybe it was because Rachel had been around Quinn for half of a year at that point, but she could never figure out how people only ever saw empty space where Quinn’s presence was. No matter what, Rachel saw something where Quinn stood; a ripple in her breath, a reflection against the particles in the air, Rachel always saw something. Or maybe it was all in her mind. Regardless, the way Sue was staring at Quinn made Rachel think that maybe, just maybe, Sue saw what she did.
“Coach Sylvester-”
“Not a word, Rachel,” Sue snapped quietly with no real malice in her voice. She was cautiously moving towards Quinn as if in a spell.
“Don’t speak to her like that,” Rachel heard Quinn say from in front of her. Rachel could hear the fear, the trepidation in Quinn’s voice laced with the anger that the reflex of protecting Rachel brought out of her.
“This is impossible. Rachel, what the hell is going on here?” Sue snapped as her eyes searched the space where Quinn stood.
Rachel heard Quinn snap back with, “I said don’t talk to her like that, coach.”
Rachel watched the wheels turn in Sue’s eyes and after a moment of perfect clarity, and with a dull thud, Sue Sylvester passed out. Rachel immediately moved to her side but was pulled away gently by Quinn. “She’ll be fine Rachel, come on, we need to get out of here now,” the ghost urged as she tugged at Rachel’s hand.
Rachel didn’t want to leave the unconscious coach, but one glance over to Karofsky and Azimio - Crap, they were still there? - and seeing their horrified expressions got Rachel’s feet moving as she let Quinn pull her away. The brunette cast a pleading look to the boys in hopes that they’d be too scared to tell the entire school about what just happened. She knew it didn’t matter, though; within hours the entire school would know that Rachel Berry was haunted and somehow used her powers to knock the coach out. She was screwed.
“Come on, let’s get to the choir room,” Rachel said as she turned towards where Quinn was leading them.
The slap of Rachel’s flats echoed loudly around them as she ran through the empty halls of McKinley with Quinn by her side. As they skidded around a corner Rachel heard Quinn forcing herself to breathe. Rachel heard Quinn sigh in relief when she recognized the choir room door. Rachel heard Quinn, apparently just like coach Sylvester had.
----------
Quinn watched Rachel throw open the choir room door and linger in the doorway, making a show of standing there to check the clock when in reality she was keeping it open long enough for Quinn to walk through. It was a corporeal day, after all.
“I’m terribly sorry that I’m late on our first day back, fellow gleeks, however-”
“It’s fine, Rachel, just sit down,” Mr. Schuester, the crappy Spanish teacher said as he interrupted Rachel. Quinn frowned at him as she slowly followed behind Rachel to the red plastic chairs on the risers.
Quinn knew the names of everyone in the glee club. There was Finn who had waved at Rachel as soon as they made eye contact. Then Puck, who smiled at Rachel. Quinn smiled at him. She recognized the girl sitting next to Puck as Lauren, the only girl on the wrestling team. Then there was Brittany, one of the Cheerios, who was sitting next to one of the wheelchair kids; Quinn thought his name was Artie. Speaking of Brittany…aha. Quinn spotted Santana, sitting a few spots away from Brittany, staring longingly at the blonde. Then there was Tina and her boyfriend, Mike - the two that had walked through her that day in the library. Rude. Mercedes was in the front next to the kid who always got bullied for wearing corsets, Kurt. She liked them both. Last was the new kid, Sam. He seemed nice despite the rumors of him being gay. Quinn didn’t buy them, anyway.
The ghost knew everyone in the club, and she had liked them well enough up until that moment. The moment when Rachel walked into the room and most of them sneered or looked disgusted. Quinn thought back on how none of them would help Rachel during winter break when she wanted to keep practicing with the club. Charming.
“Holy sweet hell, troll, what drugs did you get for Hanukkah? You look like a starved junkie; I would know, Lima Heights Adjacent is covered in ‘em,” Santana commented as Rachel sat down near the back. Quinn sat down next to her and lowered her gaze at Santana.
“It’s called lack of sleep, Santana,” Rachel shot back dryly, “it’s what happens when you spend hours preparing for competitions. It’s not easy being the best.” Quinn smiled at Rachel and shook her head. It was never simple with that girl, even when it came to her lies.
Puck shot Rachel a sympathetic look and Lauren piped up, “Shut it, Lopez. We all know Lima Heights Adjacent is one of the richest neighborhoods in town.” Everyone snickered and Quinn watched Santana’s eyebrows shoot up as she began to rebut.
“That’s enough, everyone,” Mr. Schue said, holding a finger up in Santana’s direction and shooting her a warning look. He ran over to the whiteboard at the front of the classroom and in large letters wrote the word Regionals. “This is what we have to focus on. Not Rachel looking like a druggie or Santana’s housing situation.”
What the hell? Quinn thought as she reached over and laid a comforting hand on Rachel’s shoulder. The blond shook her head and allowed her thoughts to travel back on what had happened minutes prior, letting the curly-haired guy’s ramblings float to the back of her mind.
Coach Sylvester had heard her. As if some giant switch had been flipped, her old coach could suddenly hear her. It’s not like Quinn hadn’t tried to talk to her before. She had, many times. As if something had happened and now…. Quinn turned her head and gazed at Rachel’s profile. After a moment, Rachel turned to look at Quinn. The brunette couldn’t even muster up a smile. Now her coach could hear her. Now that Rachel was there. It was as if now that Rachel was getting worse, and the life was basically being drained from her, Quinn was growing stronger. Oh, God. A light bulb flipped on in Quinn’s mind. “Oh, God.”
“What?” Rachel asked under her breath, eyebrows furrowed together, looking confused.
Quinn’s gaze darted back and forth across Rachel’s features in shock. Is that what was happening? Were Rachel and her really tied together so tightly that when one lost life, the other gained it?
“Nothing,” Quinn lied. This had to end. Quinn had to do something.
----------
A small hand darted straight up and didn’t waver until Mr. Schue reluctantly acknowledged it. “Yes, Rachel?”
“I have a song that I would like to perform for the glee club. I feel that it could really boost the morale of the club after such a long break of not singing and not caring,” Rachel said sternly as she stood up and pulled at the sleeve ends of Quinn’s jacket.
“Fine, Rachel,” Mr. Schue said grudgingly as he flopped down in the stool next to the piano. Rachel really did dislike that man sometimes.
“Brad,” Rachel beamed, “Grenade, B-flat.” The brunette turned away from the man with the beard at the piano and faced the choir room. Sure, she thought Bruno Mars’ song was a bit dramatic, what with the attempted death threat via military weaponry in it. However, she loved the meaning behind it and it certainly was catchy. Rachel had planned to sing this song the day Quinn came with her. She planned to sing it to Quinn, and she hoped Quinn would catch on.
Ever since their first kiss, Rachel hadn’t been able to talk to Quinn about her feelings towards her. Not for lack of feelings on Rachel’s part, or lack of understanding for that matter. Sure, Rachel had fallen for a ghost. That was a given. On top of it all, Rachel thought as she scanned the judgmental and bored faces in front of her, it’s not like she was shy about admitting love. Rachel just felt like no time had been the right time to tell Quinn - well, that she loved her.
When the piano music reached her ears and the band member’s instruments kicked into play, Rachel let everything go and focused solely on the song. As the captain of the glee club she had to boost moral, she did. But, as Rachel Berry, she needed to sing the song to Quinn. And so she did.
----------
Quinn had never been the biggest Bruno Mars fan. His music was fine, but the only time she had been able to hear it had been on the radio and his songs had been so overplayed that Quinn winced every time Just the Way You Are came on.
That didn’t matter at that moment, though. It didn’t matter that Quinn had heard Grenade five times the day before. As Rachel stood in front of the room and held her hand to her heart and hit those notes, it wasn’t Bruno’s song anymore; it was Rachel’s song and Rachel’s alone. Not only was it Rachel’s song, Quinn realized as she slowly raised her head and met Rachel’s gaze, but it was Rachel’s song to Quinn.
Quinn never once wondered why she had never snuck into the choir room before then to watch these kids perform. It didn’t matter to her because it would be the same reason why she had known everyone in the school aside from Rachel until the day she met her. It would be the same reason why no one had heard Quinn speak until Rachel did. Nothing happened until Rachel did. Quinn had seen a lot in her life and she had seen far more in her “after-life” but nothing, nothing compared to seeing Rachel perform. The way the brunette’s chest heaved and the way her eyes slid closed and the way her voice made Quinn feel. When tears began to trail down Rachel’s cheeks Quinn had to wipe her own away.
Quinn watched Rachel’s eyes open and through her teary gaze her chocolate eyes found hazel ones, just like they always managed to. When they locked eyes Quinn felt the same peace wash over her that she had the day she heard Rachel’s voice after becoming visible. Four minutes of perfect peace left Quinn wondering if maybe she was wrong about her Hell theory. No one could have that voice and not be an angel, she decided.
It was such a shame that Rachel never got to finish the song, though.
----------
It wasn’t until the final crescendo of the song hit that Rachel saw him standing in the back of the room on the back of the risers. The tiny brunette hoped that her audience thought her tears were her typical singing-a-solo tears and that her hands shaking were from the strength that she was putting into the song.
Both were lies, of course. The man standing in the back of the risers wasn’t a man at all. It was the same thing that had appeared at the bottom of her staircase and the same figure that had been haunting her nightmares for weeks; it was an Ombra.
It stared at her and Rachel stared back. Where its eyes should have been were the screams of every tormented soul it’d ever encountered. The face seemed to collapse into itself and regenerate every other second, creating a sort of black hole. A blacker shadow of a mouth curved up into a petrifying grin and Rachel’s ears were once again filled with a rushing wind tunnel sound.
Her chest began to tighten and her voice cracked as the microphone in her hand dropped and Rachel’s knees followed a second later with a dull thud that barely registered to her. Rachel could only focus on repeating one name over and over in her mind before everything went black.
“Quinn.”
----------
“Quinn!” left Rachel’s lips in a strangled breath before the brunette’s torso met the floor as she blacked out.
“No!” Quinn yelled as she shot out of the chair and pushed her way through the frenzied gleeks and dropped to Rachel’s side. She felt a twinge of something and a hiss ripped through the blond’s body as she turned and saw the Ombra. The ghost had sensed that something was wrong when Rachel started to waver both in her song and in her stance. Then everything went downhill so fast and -
“Rachel?” Puck asked as he slid to his knees next to the brunette on the floor. Quinn looked from the Ombra to Puck in surprise before realization dawned on her. Half of the kids in the room were trying to figure out what had pushed them out of the way and the other half were trying to figure out what had happened to Rachel and who to call. She saw Mr. Schue desperately yelling into his cell phone and before she knew it, a large figure was knocking into her.
“Shit, sorr-” Finn froze and his eyes widened, “Q-Quinn?”
Quinn regained her balance and ignored Finn as she looked to Puck. She had to test it. “Puckerman, I need you to help me get her out of this room now,” she snapped, silently praying.
Puck’s eyes widened but he nodded nonetheless, “All right, Quinn.” Awesome.
“Finn?”
The taller boy was still frozen in shock as he hastily tried to control his shaky speech, “Y-yeah?”
Now wasn’t the time to question anything, Quinn thought as she watched Puck lift Rachel up into his arms. “You need to make sure that no one comes after us.”
He might have been a goofy jock, but Finn knew when he had to take charge. “Got it. Quinn?”
The blond looked up from worriedly studying Rachel’s comatose face to impatiently cast Finn a glance, “What?” she asked as she looked back to where the Ombra had been. Gone.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but take care of Rachel.”
“I‘ll die trying, Finn.”
----------
Rachel wasn’t sure if she was dead or not. She felt warm, warmer than she had been able to feel in those past few weeks. She vaguely remembered being knocked out by a horrible pain.
Rachel assumed she was dreaming (if not dead) as she seemed to float through the darkness of her mind. She could hear Quinn’s voice whispering reassuringly into her ear and, oddly enough, Noah as well.
Quinn’s voice was soothing to Rachel, but something on the cusp of her mind was troubling. Something in her dream that she was trying to avoid by running. She was running but it was gaining, fast. Rachel couldn’t run fast enough.
----------
“Breathe,” Quinn whispered. Quinn knew they had to get Rachel out of the building, and Puck’s first idea had been the football field, so they ran with it. Literally.
In the middle of the field with Rachel laid out on the football player’s bench with Puck’s letterman jacket under her head, Quinn kept her eyes on Rachel. The ghost slowly lowered herself to her knees next to Rachel’s head and placed a hand on the brunette’s chest. Her soft lips grazed Rachel’s ear as she whispered again, “Breathe, Rachel, wake up.”
Puck kicked at the dirt of the field behind her and shivered against the chilly January air. It was overcast and eerie and everything was still. Still as death, Quinn thought. Quinn leaned up and laid her forehead against Rachel’s. She was hardly breathing and Quinn didn’t know what to do. She didn’t think she could breathe life back into Rachel because Quinn didn’t have any life to spare.
“Is she dead?” Puck asked from behind Quinn. He sounded terrified.
“Not yet,” Quinn said, her voice hollow.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on here, Q. But it just figures that Berry was the one who found you. There had to have been a reason for it, right? You two are like, connected. So, you have to be able to do something to help her,” Puck finished, staring intently at Quinn.
Quinn raised her head and met Puck’s eyes. How did people find her eyes when they couldn’t see her? “You really think I can save her, Puck? I’m the reason she’s like this,” Quinn snapped as she watched his determined expression fall.
“Bullshit,” Puck snapped back, taking a step forward, “Quinn you died ten years ago. Yet here you are in the middle of a football field with Rachel Berry and the little brother of the dude who killed you. If that’s not some form of fate then I’ll suck my own dick.”
Quinn made a face as she dropped her forehead back down to Rachel’s. With less than half of an inch of space between the girl’s eyes, Quinn opened hers and gazed at Rachel. Her lips grazed the brunette’s as she pleadingly whispered one last time, “Breathe, Rachel.”
----------
Rachel’s eyes fluttered open as she started in her bed. No, not her bed. Quinn’s bed. There was a soft sigh of relief to her right and Rachel turned her head and - froze.
Rachel stared into the most gorgeous pair of hazel eyes that she’d ever seen. “Quinn you’re-”
“I know,” Quinn said achingly, “I saw.”
“This is wonderful!” Rachel said excitedly as she tried to sit up. She didn’t understand the look of affliction that passed over Quinn’s features.
“Now that you’re awake we need to talk, Rachel,” the blond said seriously.
Rachel’s happiness faded as she searched Quinn’s eyes with her own. Nodding slowly, the tiny brunette slid over in the bed and made room for Quinn, who crawled in silently.
Rachel cautiously eyed the blond’s stoic face before rolling to her side and gripping onto Quinn’s flimsy green cardigan. She could see Quinn. She could feel Quinn. She could hear Quinn. There was no reason for Quinn to be as upset as she was, Rachel thought, as she gently laid her head down on Quinn’s chest. Still no heartbeat.
“Do you understand what happened to you in the choir room today, Rachel?”
“I was attacked by an Ombra, again, Quinn.”
“What happened?”
“There was a rushing in my ears and it hurt my head, but that happened last time too,” Rachel recalled, “then my chest became extraordinarily tight and that hurt. I couldn’t breathe very well, and then if I’m remembering this right, I passed out.”
“You said my name before you passed out. Everyone heard. I pushed through some of the glee kids to get to you, and they felt me. I had Finn distract them - which, by the way, he can hear me now. As can Puck, and apparently coach Sylvester - and then I got Puck to carry you out. I had to get you out of the building so we took you to the football field. His idea,” Quinn stated with an eye roll.
“I dreamt that you were whispering reassurances into my ear.”
“I was telling you to breathe.”
“Was I not?”
“Barely.”
Rachel remained quiet, processing. “Go on.”
“After a few minutes you began to breathe again. Pretty much the same time that Puck passed out and I realized I was visible,” Quinn bit out, “I got him up and we brought you here. Finn handled the glee club, but I don’t know how. Your dads, Finn, and Puck are downstairs.”
Rachel looked up into Quinn’s eyes. “My fathers are down there?”
Quinn nodded slowly. “I told them everything. Now they’re researching what I asked them to.”
“The Ombra?”
Rachel felt Quinn’s throat flex and she looked up to see the ghost blinking back tears. “Exorcisms.”
The brunette’s head snapped up and her bangs fell into her eyes. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes and she tried, and failed, to catch Quinn’s gaze as she whispered, “For the Ombra, right? That’s how we’ll get rid of them?”
Quinn stared at the wall across the room for too long before meeting Rachel’s eyes. Rachel tightened her grip on the cardigan that didn’t feel like a cardigan because, Rachel painfully thought, it didn’t really exist. “Don’t lie to me,” she whispered.
“I think we’re pretty much past that point, Rachel.”
“You’re leaving,” Rachel vocalized. Quinn said nothing, just kept their gazes locked. Rachel’s everything shut down. She didn’t feel. She didn’t want to feel. Anything. Letting go of Quinn, the brunette sat up, immediately shooting an arm behind her to steady herself; she was still shaky from the whole experience.
“Come on, then,” Rachel said as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She looked over her shoulder enough to see Quinn’s body still lying in bed, “I have all of the research for exorcisms bookmarked in my laptop. I assume you brought my backpack here.”
If Quinn was surprised by Rachel’s reaction, she didn’t show it. However, Rachel thought, isn’t that the game they were playing, anyway? Quinn wanted to leave, fine. It was her loss. Rachel didn’t need to hear the illogical excuse behind it. Quinn wanted to leave, that was all that was registering in Rachel’s mind.
“Rachel,” Quinn said calmly as the brunette made her way towards the bedroom door.
“What, Quinn?” Rachel snapped, letting her indifferent mask slip to show her anger, “If you want to leave then why are we still standing around discussing it? Wasting time seems inconsequential now, don’t you think?”
“Stop it, Rachel,” Quinn commanded loudly, “You're being irrational. Just listen to me!”
“Why should I, Quinn Fabray? You got right to the point, so there’s nothing more to be said,” Rachel said, crossing her arms and holding her chin up high.
Quinn stared back as her eyes hardened. Rachel watched her stand up and face the brunette. “As if I would just decide to leave you by choice,” Quinn said.
“Are you being forced to?” Rachel asked seriously, “Because if you think that this is for the greater good then-”
“Do you love me?” Quinn interrupted. Rachel froze. “It’s a simple question,” Quinn continued, taking a step forward.
Rachel gaped at Quinn. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Quinn’s. She couldn’t, until she did. Rachel’s eyes dropped as her head turned away. She closed her eyes. Of course, Rachel thought, of course I do. Why couldn’t she say it?
After forty agonizing seconds of silence Rachel opened her eyes and looked to Quinn again, who looked like she hadn’t looked away from Rachel. Like she never wanted to tear her gaze from Rachel. Until she did.
Rachel watched in horror as Quinn, for the first time since she’d known her, did something that illustrated that she was a ghost. Quinn turned and walked through the wall wordlessly, her face passing through her senior picture that hung there. Rachel knew that Quinn had always gone out of her way to use doors and floors, anything to make her feel more human. Had Rachel hurt her that badly? Why was Quinn acting like a ghost now?
“Of course,” Rachel whispered brokenly to the empty room.
----------
Rachel’s bare feet padded against the floor of the hallway before she paused at the top of Quinn’s stairs. A floor below she heard Leroy arguing with Puck and Finn over what to eat during their research break, and who was going to go get a pizza. She heard Hiram typing away at, what Rachel could only guess was, her laptop. They were all sitting in the kitchen; well, all but Quinn, who was sitting at the bottom of the staircase. The same way she had been that morning. Rachel thought that felt like an eternity ago.
The brunette watched the blond watch the men in the kitchen. Quinn’s back was hunched and her head was dipped down. She was tangling her hands together in her lap. Sitting there thinking Rachel didn’t love her. Rachel reluctantly turned away and padded over to the bathroom to check her reflection.
Pressing her hand against the cold glass Rachel wished Quinn would appear behind her like she did before. She craved the ghost’s touch; she craved the comfort. A small hand traced the harsh bags under her eyes and her sunken cheeks. Rachel wasn’t an idiot, she knew something bad was happening to her. She knew the Ombra were hurting her, that they were the bad guys and Quinn wanted to be the hero. She just didn’t see how the blond leaving her alone would save her.
----------
Hiram scrolled through another page on exorcisms, pulled a disgusted look, and shut the laptop lid. Quinn watched him stand up and silently make his way from the kitchen to sit next to her on the stairs.
“When Rachel was three years old she decided that she was a princess,” the older man said as he took off his glasses and began cleaning them on his shirt.
Quinn smiled softly as she ducked her head and began picking at her chipped nail polish, imagining a little Rachel running around with a tiara on her head and a pink wand in her hand.
Hiram kept his glasses off and focused on the door at the end of the hall as he continued, “Ever since that day Rachel’s been, for lack of a better description, a little introverted and selfish. Not to say that she isn’t also incredibly selfless, because she is. Far more so now that she’s made friends. Well, she calls them friends at least,” he said with a raise of an eyebrow that let Quinn know what he thought of Rachel’s “friends”. She loved this man.
“When she was six we drove by a horrible car wreck,” Hiram began, putting his glasses back on and focusing on Quinn who was still focused on her nails, “a young man was pulled out of the wreck, still alive. No other body was ever recovered, but then again, the car did explode shortly after.”
Quinn let out a forced, shaky breath as she finally looked up at Hiram. “Did you ever see your body, Quinn?” Quinn shook her head in the negative, wondering where this was coming from. “Have you ever even been to the graveyard that you’re buried at?”
“No,” Quinn said as her mouth ran dry.
“Would you like to?”
----------
Quinn and Hiram snuck out of the house unnoticed as the other three men continued to argue over pizza and Rachel remained upstairs. “This is a beautiful house, Quinn, you’ve kept it in amazing shape,” Hiram commented as he closed the door behind them and pulled his jacket closer to him.
Quinn shrugged on a Jean jacket that appeared in the air behind her as she nodded, “Thank you.”
Quinn threw a glance up to her bedroom window but didn’t see Rachel.
Once they were in the Berry’s car, Hiram steered them towards the west.
“How do you know where I’m-where the grave is?” Quinn asked quietly and politely as possible; however, she didn't know how polite someone could be when asking that question, or if a question like that had ever even been asked before.
“The power of Google, dear,” Hiram said as he tossed a small smile Quinn’s way.
More silence followed as they drove through the darkened streets of Lima. It was late, late enough that mothers had called their children in and fathers were pulling into their driveways after a long day of work. Quinn glared into the brightly lit suburban windows as the car rolled by them. Screw them all for having peace. Quinn would give anything to bring back Christmas day with Rachel and happiness and now...everything was just happening so fast.
“Here we are,” Hiram said as he put the car into park in front of a pair of tall, iron doors that bled into a fence that stretched into the darkness. It was a huge graveyard, the biggest - and nicest - in town. Quinn silently gave her mother props for caring enough to go all out.
“Will you be okay?” Hiram asked as he shut the headlights off.
Quinn laughed sharply and looked back at him, “I’m pretty sure I will be, yes, Mr. Berry. What could possibly happen to me?”
Hiram merely smiled sadly at Quinn as she exited the car and passed through the iron fence.
She had taken ten steps in when she realized she should have asked Hiram where exactly the gravesite was. Oh well, she thought. Quinn needed no light as she let off a ghostly glow making her way between the grave spaces, reading the names that were etched into each stone. Quinn silently wondered if she would run into any other spirits on her little trip.
Finally, in what Quinn could tell was a nicer area, a richer one, she stumbled upon a marble headstone that was almost as tall as her. Quinn placed her hands into the pockets of the jacket and bent over a bit to read the engraving.
“Quinn Lucy Fabray,” she said, biting the inside of her cheek a bit before continuing, “taken from us too early at age sixteen. Forever beautiful. Rest in peace. May 27, 1984 - October 24, 2000.” The ghost pulled a hand out of her pocket and traced the engraving of the gardenia that wound around her name and the dates. “Pretty, mom,” Quinn said with a small smile. Quinn bent down and reached through the grass on the grave to pull up a handful of dirt that slipped through her fingers seconds later. She wondered what they buried since her body was never found.
There was the sound of crunching leaves behind her but Quinn stayed still; she knew who it was.
Hiram slowly knelt down beside Quinn and scanned the headstone.
“Forever beautiful is completely accurate,” stated Rachel’s father.
Quinn smiled softly down at the ground, “Thank you, Mr. Berry.”
“You know I told you to call me Hiram,” he corrected her. Quinn nodded and the two stayed where they were.
“Rachel has had her selfless moments, like I said before,” Hiram started again and Quinn silently wondered where he was going with this, “but I’ve never seen her give herself to someone before.”
This got Quinn’s attention. “What about Finn?”
Hiram shook his head, “She tried to change him and he tried to change her. She loved the idea of him, sure, but when push came to shove, Rachel wouldn’t give up a solo for him.”
“You think she’d do that for me?” Quinn asked in amusement.
“She did today, didn’t she?” Hiram asked in return.
Quinn stared hard into the man’s brown eyes that looked so much like Rachel’s. Too much like Rachel’s; she could see that even in the darkness. “What are you saying, Hiram?”
“I’m saying that I know what you’re doing. I know that you think Rachel’s dying and that it’s somehow your fault. That if you never came into her life this wouldn’t be happening to her right now,” he said flatly, disregarding Quinn’s shocked expression. “I know that you think if you move on, Quinn, Rachel will be saved. I’m not here to tell you that’s not true, because I don’t know if it is or not. Up until a month or so ago I didn’t even know if ghosts really existed.”
“I didn’t even know if I really existed until Rachel heard me,” Quinn quietly admitted.
“I didn’t know if Rachel could ever love someone more than she loves herself until you came into her life, Quinn,” Hiram said firmly.
He stood up and brushed his hands off before extending a hand down to Quinn. He helped her up and placed his large hands on her shoulders. “I can’t tell you what to do because I don’t know, Quinn. This is the family’s first time dealing with the spiritual world like this. I do know that Rachel needs help, and I do know that you leaving will hurt her. But maybe it’s for the greater good. All I can say is that regardless of what happens, you’ve become like a daughter to me, and I love you as such. I’ll support you in your choice and help you to the extent of my abilities, but I will not help you kill yourself to save Rachel.”
“How can I kill myself when I’m already dead, Mr. Berry?” Quinn questioned in frustration.
“How can you be so sure that you’re nothing more than a ghost, Quinn?”
----------
Rachel’s head snapped up from the dining room table when she heard the front door open. Hiram walked in followed by Quinn.
“Where have you two been?” Leroy asked hurriedly as he rushed up to his husband and looked down at him and Quinn in concern.
“We just needed to have a little talk,” Hiram said with a smile in Quinn’s direction. Rachel watched Quinn do her best to smile back at her dad.
Puck and Finn had left minutes before claiming they needed to get home before their moms killed them. Rachel had spent the remaining time convinced that Quinn had somehow convinced Hiram to take her somewhere to get the exorcism performed right then. The relief she felt when Quinn walked through that door must have been written all over her face, for when Quinn looked at her, her gaze softened.
“So, what do we do, then…?” Leroy asked slowly, sadly looking from Quinn to Hiram.
“Nothing tonight,” Quinn said, interrupting Hiram. Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I need to think about everything and weigh my options before I do anything permanent,” Quinn finished.
“Then we’ll be heading home,” Hiram said, squeezing his husband’s hand as a signal for I’ll-tell-you-everything-when-we’re-alone.
Leroy nodded and laid a large hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “We’ll see you tomorrow then, Quinn. You know where we are if you need us. Rachel, we’ll be in the car.” And with that they left, leaving the two girls alone like that had been that very moment. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Rachel stood in the kitchen, unmoved, and stared at Quinn who was still in the doorway. “Where did you two go?” she asked softly.
“To my grave,” Quinn said matter-of-fact like, “and we talked.”
Rachel ached to ask questions. What advice could her dad have possibly had for Quinn? Had he helped? “Was that the first time you’d been to your grave?” she asked instead.
“Yes,” Quinn answered.
Rachel hated the awkwardness that hung in the air. She wanted to make it go away. Was that even possible at that point? Had Rachel ruined everything?
“I’ll get going then,” the brunette said in defeat as she headed around the table and gingerly past Quinn in the doorway.
Rachel made a move to pick up the Jean jacket - the fact that Quinn was also wearing it hadn’t escaped her notice - but stilled her hand right before she grabbed onto the rough fabric.
“Take it,” Quinn said gently, “It’s not like I need it anymore. I have however many copies of it that I need.”
Rachel stared at the jacket as tears welled up in her eyes. She closed her hand around empty air and quickly left the house, leaving the jacket on the coat rack and Quinn alone in the kitchen doorway.
Rachel quickly made her way off of the Fabray porch and past the cherry tree and away from Quinn. She could only hope that Quinn made the right choice. Even if Rachel had no idea what the right choice was, anymore.
----------
Quinn waited until she heard the roaring of the car engine before she moved out of the doorway. It had taken every ounce of willpower that she had to not chase after Rachel. To not pull the brunette into her arms and tell her how much she loved her, and how she never wanted to leave her.
But she couldn’t do that. Quinn loved Rachel, which is why she needed to save her. In Quinn’s arms was probably the worst place for Rachel to be, the most unsafe.
Tears welled up in the blond’s eyes as she rapidly blinked them away. Leaning against her sink with her head dropped between her arms, Quinn took in deep, shaking breaths. Of course Rachel couldn’t tell Quinn that she loved her. Quinn should have expected that. Who could ever possibly fall in love with a ghost?