fair??
perhaps its just best to cut one's losses and move on. is it really good to stay in a tainted relationship? is any pairing really without its faults? where does one draw the line at extremity? can a relationship recover? does it take a certian type of person or persons? how do you know? is it all jsut a waste of time anyway? once a cheat always a cheat, even if you never do it again? double standards because they're twice as true? ... and in your case it really is true. is it ok to live in a sense of submission and fear? groveling and ignoring real issues and problems for fear of past rejection come boiling to the surface as always? or will you just wait until something different comes along? different, not better... b/c really what is better? nope, just different... and you're no better b/c nothing has changed like you thought you had. this one starts out just as doomed as the last. no one gets the truth... the whole real story. be careful; your muddled grey personality is begining to leak through your carefully crafted facade. everyone is begining to see you for what you really are not... and they all begin to forget you and there is no one new to begin to remember you where the others left off. its too hard to begin anew when you have past strings holding you to something... cna't change who you were when they might love that thing you're about to change... then you lose them and any tie to who you used to be... they are the saftey line in case this all goes terribly wrong and you're left like every other peice of white trash in the waste basket. its not an overnight... but things that are changing are not changing for the best and things that have been bad are not going away and are really just getting worse... or like your fakeness, are pushing their way to the surface of you. goodluck getting out of this mess... wishing fear was more of a motivator arounf procrastination and laziness... too bad its not... just squeak by... like always erin.