Part One
[ How I'm feeling|
Exhausted]
[ What I'm listening to| CHVRCHES - Lies (Tourist Remix)
Title: Initium Novum (1/?)
Pairings: Aoi/Uruha/Kai, Kai/Uruha, Aoi/Kai, Reita/Ruki, ect.
Warnings: Orgies
Rating: NC-17
Notes: This is the sixth story in the series following Oasis
Summary: "I'm not doing this anymore if you keep pushing me out." He felt his heart contract at the words because he knew they were true no matter how much he loved Uruha and Aoi. He wasn't going to keep killing himself to please other people, even the people who meant the most to him.
"Are you still awake?" Kai whispered against strands of blond hair. He inhaled the scent of strawberries and smiled. It was a different shampoo every week and each scent was as intoxicating as the next, from mint to sakura, to green tea, but Uruha would always smell like....Uruha beneath the artificial scents of shampoo and there would never be a fitting way to describe that familiar, personal scent Kai knew so well now. Uruha shifted lazily against him, cheek rubbing affectionately against Kai's chest.
"Mmhmm," Uruha hummed, and then lifted his head.
There was a sensual, satisfied smile on Uruha's face beneath his tousled hair and not for the first time that night, Kai felt his own sense of satisfaction sweep through his body. Uruha was happy with him. Uruha was always calmer here in his arms than he was anywhere else and in a way, every time he saw Uruha content, it reaffirmed what he already knew to be true-that this was how everything should have been from the very beginning, but that everything they had gone through until now had not been for nothing. It had made things better between every person in this interconnecting relationship Kai had been pulled into so long ago.
"Do you remember when we used to live together?" Uruha asked, his voice hushed in the stillness of the room. Kai drifted from his own thoughts and slid an arm around Uruha's shoulder at his whispered words.
Aoi was off on personal business away from the band, something that was slowly becoming a regular thing now that they were all stretching their arms and venturing into areas outside of the band that interested them personally. Ruki had been out of town as well the last few days, advertising his new clothing line and even Kai had a busy schedule for the coming week. But right here and now, it was only he and Uruha, and Kai planned to enjoy it to the fullest. His alone time wrapped around Uruha in bed was something he looked forward to after the hectic train his life had become.
"How could I forget when we lived together? We had so much fun."Uruha chuckled and then leaned forward to give Kai a lingering kiss to the lips.
"We still do." Kai grinned, pulling Uruha back down for another kiss, this one playful. Uruha drew Kai's bottom lip between his teeth as he pulled away, causing Kai's body to heat in expectation. They had an entire night and the rest of tomorrow to occupy and Kai knew exactly how he wanted to spend that time...
"I miss throwing game controllers at you and passing out drunk on your couch. I was always a horrible friend wasn't I?" Uruha pouted but when Kai gave him a reproachful look, the pout cracked and Uruha buried his face back into Kai's chest and his shoulders shook with silent laughter.
"You were the worst. But I would let you throw game controllers at me and pass out on my couch still.....nothing has changed," Kai whispered, but as soon as the words had left his lips, he knew they were untrue. Uruha looked up at him and shook his head.
"A lot has changed," Uruha reaffirmed Kai's musings.
"You're amazing to me. I don't feel the need to pummel you anymore. I'd rather kiss you." Uruha smiled and leaned forward to give truth to his own words. Kai leaned into the kiss, deepening it when Uruha's arm around his waist tightened.
"I love you," Uruha whispered as his lips brushed across Kai's cheek.
The room was cool from the bedroom window Uruha had left open as he did nearly every night to let the autumn breeze in. Something even cooler than the breeze pressed against his hip and he looked down to where Uruha's hand had encircled his waist. He shivered and slipped his fingers through Uruha's and brought their joined hands closer to his face. Uruha tilted his head back and gave him a curious look as Kai kissed his middle finger where two bands, wildly different in style rested one on top of the other on Uruha's finger.
Aoi had given Uruha the first ring years ago, before Kai had been even a dot of light on their horizon. It was black with silver inlay and an engraving on the inside that was personal to Uruha and Aoi. Aoi had never been the world's greatest romantic. He seemed to leave the roses and wine and trinkets to Kai. In fact, Kai was a master at spoiling Uruha, merely because he loved to see Uruha smile when he was pampered. Aoi should have been thanking him on his knees for keeping Uruha agreeable and off the war path for him. But Kai had to give it to Aoi.....the ring was beautiful and Uruha treated it like the precious possession it was.
Uruha had lost it once and Kai had found him sitting on the kitchen floor, worrying his hands together, believing he had lost the ring on the train home that evening. Kai had scoured the entire apartment looking for the damn thing until they had found it in Uruha's shoulder bag hours later. Kai had never seen Uruha look so relieved and his excuse for being upset over the ring had been that Aoi would never spend that much damn money on a trinket ever again if he lost the ring. Aoi had given Uruha that ring on a day that Uruha had almost walked out of Aoi's life. Kai knew it was something deeply symbolic despite what Uruha told him.
The second ring was an intricate silver band Uruha had been eying for months on end before Kai came home with it one day. He had gotten an entire night of thanks for it and he had to smile now at the memory. Both rings were practically glued to Uruha's finger and only came off once in awhile for bathing. Kai sighed and kissed Uruha's finger again.
"I love you too," He whispered.
Uruha slipped his hand from Kai's fingers and slid a leg across Kai's waist. Kai sucked in a breath as Uruha's naked hips pressed down against his own beneath what had once been pristine sheets. Aoi was going to kill them when he got home.
Kai groaned as Uruha moved to straddle his waist and he grew harder against Uruha's stomach. Kai hissed when Uruha began to shift his hips languidly, rubbing his body against him in a way that had all of his senses firing at once frantically. His fingers dug into the flesh of Uruha's thighs and he tilted his head back to the slow trail of Uruha's tongue against the side of his neck.
"Mmmm Uru," A shiver wracked his body and his hips strained to meet Uruha's lazily movements.
"You drive me crazy," He whispered into the blond hair he gathered between his fingers in bunches, threading, pulling from the pleasure.
He could feel the satisfied grin of Uruha's lips against his collar bone and inwardly chuckled. They had been at this lazy pace for hours on end, only breaking for a glass of water here and there to replenish their bodies. Their skin was so damp from their exertions that he was sure they were going to be stuck to the bed when Aoi found them in the morning. Kai laughed softly against Uruha's cheek as he moved to kiss him.
"What are you laughing at?" Uruha asked, smiling against his mouth.
"Does it make you laugh to know I want to suck your cock until you're screaming my name?" Uruha rose an eyebrow and Kai's laugh died at the back of his throat at Uruha's lewd comment.
"I want to suck you off," Uruha murmured between slow, wet kisses to Kai's parted lips.
"Until you forget my name, and your own name," Uruha's tongue darted out to trace his lips and then dip between them, too quick for Kai to reciprocate.
"And then I want to sink down onto you and ride you the rest of the night. I want you to come in me until I'm shaking.....until you're so exhausted you can't move anymore....."
Kai groaned softly and his cock twitched in Uruha's hand as it snuck between them and began stroking him in that same, lazy way as if they had forever....or at least until tomorrow to get lost in one another. He still had to wonder sometimes how he had gotten caught up between two amazingly attractive sex fiends.
Uruha had the ability to make him come with just words. Sometimes he would just whisper into Kai's ear all the dirty things he wanted to do to him while he caressed his thighs or nipped at his neck with stinging teeth. Sometimes it was just too much to hold in and Uruha would force him to come that way. Uruha would make him touch himself and usually it only took a few good strokes and he was done.....all over his hands and pants.
Aoi was just as much a master at Kai's body as Uruha was but Aoi had always loved danger and uninhibited adventures more than anything. Kai was used to being pulled into bathrooms and shoved against a wall or pulled down into a theater seat and left with vivid passion marks on his neck and finger shaped bruises against his arms. And both of them together.....well.....Kai smiled to think of all the fun they had had since they'd started this affair.
"Fuck," He gasped as Uruha's cock slid against his own unexpectedly. The warm, wet effect was almost too much and he grasped the sheets beneath him in a death grip.
Uruha was grinning down at him, his hair falling around their faces in a curtain as he bent over Kai and worked his hips against him. How many times had they done only this and left one another trembling and gasping against the sheets? But Uruha had other plans tonight, bigger plans obviously as he slid down Kai's body sensually.
He flashed Kai one more cheeky grin before he disappeared beneath the sheets, obscuring Kai's view of him and what he intended to do. Uruha had always been a lover of handicapping their senses just to make the pleasure that much more intense. His hips trembled with the effort of holding back when he felt Uruha's lips brush his hip.
"You use the worse language around me these days," He heard Uruha chuckle from beneath the sheets and Kai couldn't help but roll his eyes. And yet in the next moment, his entire body shuddered as Uruha's lips touched the side of his cock and then a warm, wet tongue followed, tracing the veins of his cock teasingly until it reached the head and Uruha's mouth encircled it.
Kai pressed his head back into the bed and groaned low. Uruha was a master at this, at making bodies tighten and shudder and sing. With a flick of his wrist, Uruha could have Kai writhing beneath him and a mere kiss could have him coming. Tonight, Uruha was drawing things out, making him beg for it, and he was shameless in his begging.
"Please Uru...."
"Please what?" Uruha asked, his lips hovering just above Kai's cock and when Kai threw the bed sheets back in a moment of heated desperation, he found Uruha smiling at him, an eyebrow raised in challenge.
He knew exactly what he did to Kai and found it an amusing game to make him beg for it until he decided to relent and give him what he so desperately wanted. With his eyes trained to Kai, Uruha drew his tongue up the underside of his cock and then circled the head teasingly until Kai's vision seemed to blur at the edges and his toes curled into the bed on either side of Uruha's body. And yet.....there was some semblance of control at the very back of his mind, a control he had learned to hang onto and utilize when he needed it most, and since Uruha wanted to tease and play his little tug of war game tonight, Kai could only indulge him.
"Wait," Kai urged, feeling a smug smile of his own settle into place and he took pleasure in the way Uruha's face registered momentary surprise, his lips parted into a sensual O and then his face darkened as he caught on to what Kai was doing, what he had learned to do so much more easily these past couple of months.
"Come here." Kai threaded his fingers through Uruha's hair and pulled gently until Uruha was face to face with him, his heated body molding against Kai's. It felt so amazingly good to feel Uruha wrap himself around him, each movement, each caress so erotic, it took everything for Kai to hold onto that thread of control and harness it.
He allowed Uruha to lean down and kiss him but when Uruha's hands began to roam and his mouth became harder against Kai's lips, demanding, he pushed Uruha back by the shoulders and grinned up at him and he was sure his grin said it all. If Uruha wanted to draw this out, then Kai was surely going to, but on his own terms.
He slid out from beneath Uruha and then pressed his lover back down into the sheets so that he was now leaning over him, their bodies so close to one another but not touching. Uruha's hips rolled, straining to meet him but Kai shook his head and pressed him back down.
"Let me," He whispered as he kissed Uruha's stomach just above his navel. Uruha's fingers were splayed against his bottom lip, his eyes hooded as he looked down to Kai and moaned. Uruha had always made an extremely sensual picture when he was lost in his own pleasure.
He let his kisses travel where they would, to the gently heaving skin below Uruha's navel, to the delicate junction where hip met thigh. Kai let his tongue flicker there, rubbing teasingly so that Uruha's hands found their way into Kai's short hair and pulled.
Uruha had absolutely loved when Kai had decided to get extensions in his hair some time back. It had seemed that Uruha's hands were always found buried in his hair back in those days and during sex, Uruha had gone wild, pulling and burying his face into the longer strands that had been tortuously added to his hair. Kai even debated now if he should just go through the torture again to drive Uruha crazy once more.
Kai grinned as his mouth ghosted over a pale thigh and then he bit down without a second thought. Uruha's back arched off the bed and he gasped Kai's name loudly. A little bit of pain never failed to have Uruha writhing against him.
Strawberries. Kai's grin widened as the scent hit him again. Obviously Uruha had found an accompanying body wash to his shampoo this week. He rubbed his cheek gently against Uruha's smooth thigh in an apology of sorts for his earlier violence, though he would only repeat the action again and as much as Uruha demanded of him.
He finally allowed Uruha a bit of relief in the form of a kiss to the head of his cock. Uruha groaned deep in his throat, the sound almost feral and desperate as Kai's mouth slid down his cock slowly. If he had been hesitant and unsure in the beginning of their relationship about pleasing his lovers this way, years trapped between them had taught him a thing or two. He had learned Uruha's art by an abundance of practice and he was sure his efforts were much appreciated.
"Oh god.....Kai," Uruha gasped softly, his fingers trembling against Kai's scalp as he found strands of hair and pulled as much as he was able to.
Kai was forced to swallow more of Uruha than he was comfortable with and choked a little. Uruha's fingers immediately released him, but he stayed where he was, swallowing, forcing himself to take Uruha down his throat. He felt a wetness gather at the corner of his eyes, and yet still he sucked and caressed Uruha until he was strained and trembling against him. When he drew up and reverently pressed his lips to the side of Uruha's cock, his eyes met Uruha's gaze and he saw and felt the passion and adoration there.
Uruha's fingers brushed against the side of his cheek as Kai continued to stroke him and his lips and tongue worked against hard, heated flesh. He lived for moments like this, when Uruha was against him, beneath him, worshiping him, needing him in a way that Kai was only too familiar with when it came .
Uruha gave no warning when he came, but Kai felt it in the way Uruha tensed against him and his breath came faster, his thighs tightening around Kai's head as he took him down his throat once more. Uruha was coming against him and as he had done almost every time he'd slid between Uruha's legs to worship him, he took everything Uruha had to offer, his fingers digging into thighs that held him tightly in place. Uruha's head pressed back into the bed and his arms stretched out to either side of him, his fingers grasping and twisting expensive silk sheets between his fingers to the point of ripping them as he rode out his orgasm. Aoi's sheets had never had a chance.
It seemed like forever and it could have very well been that Uruha remained shuddering against him before he slowly slid to lie back down against the bed in exhaustion. His thighs slowly parted and released Kai so that could pull himself away. He looked down at Uruha sprawled against the bed, his hair sticking to his flushed and sweaty face and he wondered at how Uruha seemed renewed and even more gorgeous after every kiss or touch. Kai licked the corner of his mouth and tasted Uruha there, salty and earthy.
For a split moment, he pictured Aoi in Uruha's place after an orgasm and how different the two of them were. Aoi would have had his arm thrown across his turned face, hidden as he panted and tried to calm his body. Aoi enjoyed burying his face into crooks of body parts so that he could bite against the pleasure or muffle the groans and grunts that were just a bit higher pitched than Uruha's moans.
He missed Aoi. Though their separation would end tonight, Aoi couldn't make it home to them fast enough. Kai smiled at the thought and settled down between Uruha's legs so that he could kiss his parted lips. Uruha's eyes fluttered open and he made a half-hearted effort to kiss Kai back, but Kai could feel the intense exhaustion in Uruha's body and knew that they'd gone their last round for the day.
Kai was still incredibly aroused and hard against Uruha's hip, but he would have turned over and finished himself off to let Uruha sleep if it had come down to it, but he knew Uruha better than that. He wasn't surprised at all when Uruha mustered enough strength to roll over and pin Kai back down beneath him.
"Now let me thank you for that amazing orgasm," Uruha murmured, grinning as he rolled his hips between Kai's legs.
Kai's body shivered at the feel of his cock rubbing against Uruha's smooth, flat stomach. He let his hands slide down Uruha's back and over his ass and reveled in the way Uruha shivered against him and dropped his head onto his shoulder. Uruha ground his hips down against Kai slowly and Kai's toes literally curled into the bed sheets at the heat Uruha was so easily able to coax from his body. He tangled a hand in Uruha's damp hair and felt Uruha's flushed face rub against his chest affectionately.
"If you're too tired-" He began, fingers petting and further tangling Uruha's hair in an effort to calm the want to push Uruha back down against the bed and fuck him long and hard for another hour or more.
"Shh," Uruha whispered, cutting him off abruptly. Kai had to duck his head sheepishly as Uruha raised his head and gave him one of those looks that let him know he'd said something incredibly stupid and he should know Uruha much...much better by now.
"When have I ever been too tired to fuck you?" That was said with a very fitting roll of the eyes and Kai chuckled.
"There's nothing that makes me happier than hearing you moan my name and seeing you go crazy for me," Uruha rose a haughty eyebrow and Kai mimicked him, suddenly feeling just a bit playful.
"Besides seeing Aoi in the same position you mean?" Kai grinned and received yet another exasperated roll of the eyes. No one quite rolled their eyes the way Uruha could, not even Ruki on his bitchiest days. There was something charming in the way he looked up to the ceiling and shook his head and made Kai feel about three feet tall.
"Aoi is not here. You are. And besides, Aoi groans and grunts. I suppose he thinks that's a bit more manlier even while he's being fucked from behind and getting his hair pulled." Uruha bit into his bottom lip and wiggled his eyebrows until he had Kai laughing breathlessly again.
"But you....you moan. I could come just listening to you."
"I like it when you drink vodka. Your mouth gets dirtier." Kai's grinned widened as Uruha chuckled under his breath.
They'd both untangled themselves from each other hours ago to raid Aoi's kitchen cabinets and found a full bottle of vodka he had been stowing away, which was unusual for him. Uruha was always the supplier of drinks when anyone wanted to get wasted. Aoi drank in moderation due to his hyperactivity being amped up tenfold with alcohol in his system. It had resulted in countless embarrassing situations that he'd rather forget. Kai had a whole scrapbook full of hilarious and sometimes painful memories of Aoi with a bottle of alcohol in his hand. Perhaps this bottle of vodka had been saved for a rainy day but Kai and Uruha had made a party out of it instead.
"Aoi doesn't need this. He won't miss it," Uruha had chuckled while pouring the vodka into glasses for them.
"Oh he'll find it missing but what's he going to do? He's going to come home starved for us. An empty bottle of vodka won't matter much in the end....especially if he wants it that badly," Kai had muttered conspiratorially as he sipped on the warm alcohol. It had been the toxic kind and he had definitely felt it as they had stumbled back to bed and took up where they had left off last....
Kai reached up to pull Uruha's face back down to him and he kissed him hard, feeling as if he would never be able to reign in the lust that consumed him when Uruha was around. Just a look or a touch from Uruha could set his skin on fire and he wasn't convinced that that was a bad thing....just an inconvenient thing when they couldn't find a moment alone.
He buried his fingers into blond hair and shuddered as Uruha's tongue rubbed against his own teasingly. He hissed against Uruha's lips as he felt a hand slide between their bodies and fingers curled around his cock. Kai's hips rolled into the languid stroking of Uruha's hand and began to follow its own tune without direction or discretion.
He pressed his head back into the pillows and moaned as Uruha leaned down and urged him on with lewd promises against his ear. Kai was going to hold Uruha to each and every one of those promises, he couldn't help but think even as he strained into Uruha's hand. Uruha was a master at making him delirious, at chasing all sane logic from his mind and leaving in its place a shuddering mass of heated flesh.
"Do you want to come?" Uruha asked him, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. He nodded and arched his back as Uruha took his hand away.
He almost whimpered from the loss of flesh and heat, but suddenly his cock was sliding into something much warmer than Uruha's hand. His eyes flew open and he watched Uruha sliding down his cock until he was sitting in his lap.
Uruha grinned, teeth sinking into his bottom lip in a look that was part sexual and teasing, part endearing. Kai wasn't sure he had even seen Uruha grab for lubrication or anything of the sort, but then Uruha had always been a master of subterfuge. Everyone liked to tease Uruha about the way he did things on his own time and had no regards for anyone else's schedule, but in the end, when Uruha took things into his own hands, things were done precisely....perfectly.....and without a hitch. Sometimes Uruha's way was the best way and that went without saying that that didn't just apply to work and the band.
Uruha braced his hands against Kai's chest as he rose up onto his knees, shook away the damp strands of hair hanging in his face, and then sank down all the way until he had Kai's hands curling in the bed sheets and his mouth gasping out his name.
Uruha groaned and leaned over Kai as he began rolling his hips slowly, allowing Kai to slide into him and then out at an excruciatingly sensual pace. Kai pressed his head back into the pillows behind him and he was sure his eyes rolled to the back of his head at the pleasure of Uruha melting against him. He wasn't going to last long at all, he knew. Already he had to clench his fists against the bed and strain to hold back.
He could feel Uruha already hard against him once more, his cock brushing against his stomach, and he wanted Uruha to come again as well. He thrust up even as he slipped a hand between them and began stroking Uruha. Uruha buried his face into Kai's neck and gasped at the sudden thrust and the hand around his cock, caressing in rhythm to their lazy movements. Their bodies were exhausted from rolling around in the sheets for days but they were determined to get in one last high.
Kai hissed as he felt teeth sink into his neck and the feeling of Uruha's body tightening around his cock almost had him losing control sooner than he wanted to. His hands found their way to Uruha's waist and he tried to slow the rhythm of Uruha's hips as Uruha began to move a bit faster.
"Wait," He breathed and felt Uruha shudder against him.
"I can't," Uruha groaned, tightening around Kai again.
Kai knew it was futile to try and drag this out when they were both on the brink of orgasm, their bodies too sensitive for any more teasing. Uruha's hand, suddenly hit the headboard above them and he threw back his head and moaned.
Kai bit into his bottom lip and thrust up hard while stroking Uruha through the orgasm that came quicker than he had anticipated. Uruha was never a disappointment and hardly ever came in the first minutes of sex unless he was tired or at the end of a sex marathon with Kai or Aoi or the both of them. Even when he did come quickly, he always made sure his partner was satisfied. That is to say, he did whatever he could to bring them down with him.
Kai groaned as Uruha tightened around him and continued rolling his hips, even as he shuddered and came all over Kai's stomach. In the next moment his hand had found its way into Uruha's hair again and pulled him flush against his chest as he thrust up the last few times.
He pressed his cheek into Uruha's damp shoulder and held on as he came hard and then fell back onto the bed with a long satisfied groan. Uruha lay against his chest as his body shuddered and worked to calm itself and he could feel Uruha smiling against his skin. He petted back Uruha's sweaty hair slowly for a moment until he was too exhausted to do even that and then he let his hand fall back down to the bed limply.
Uruha finally roused himself enough to half-heartedly roll off of Kai to lay beside him, his eyes closed and his breathing already deep and calm. They lay in silence for a long while as Kai stared at the moving shadows the trees outside the window cast on the ceiling and wondered what time it was. Aoi would be coming home at any time now. His flight landed around midnight and it wouldn't take him long to get home from the airport at this dead time of the morning.
Kai had been determined to stay up and wait for him, but already his eyelids were drooping and he could feel himself drifting on the edges of sleep. When he looked over at Uruha, he was sure his lover had already passed out on him, but as soon as he sluggishly turned over to curl an arm around Uruha's waist and follow him into unconsciousness Uruha shifted and opened his eyes slowly.
"I think we've broken our own record," Uruha said through a yawn and then smiled blearily at him.
Kai couldn't help but let out a tired laugh at Uruha's observation. He was sure they had broken the previous record of a particular weekend he, Uruha, and Aoi had spent together some weeks ago. They'd used that entire weekend to christian every single space in Aoi's apartment. But Kai and Uruha had been living in this bed for days, taking sustenance from each other, worshiping one another like they'd never have another day together on this earth. He could have stayed this way with Uruha forever. Who needed the outside world and reality when he had perfection between these sheets?
"I think we have," Kai agreed with a grin and opened his arms to Uruha as he shifted closer and laid his head on his chest. He stroked Uruha's warm back and Uruha traced a lazy finger against his stomach, idly drawing pictures against his skin. He could have easily fallen asleep this way, and was on his way to doing just that when Uruha slid a leg over his thigh and looked up from his chest.
"Kai," Uruha murmured and Kai opened his eyes. He was content and lazy and exhausted and ready to drift off to sleep, but the tone of Uruha's voice had him wide awake again. He shifted against Uruha's body and looked down at him questioningly.
"What?" He asked softly, wondering what Uruha wanted to talk about.
It was rare that Uruha ever wanted to talk after a good, long fuck. When he was satisfied and tired, sleep was the only thing on his agenda. He either passed out on top of Kai or turned over and flung his arms and legs all over Aoi to sleep, but he rarely ever sat up talking to either of them.
"Have you ever thought of what it would be like...to live with me again?" Uruha wondered, his voice hushed and for some reason Kai thought he detected a hint of uneasiness in the way Uruha had asked that question.
Kai's brow furrowed and he shrugged. Sure, he had thought about the prospect of living with Uruha and Aoi but he had never brought the subject up because they all seemed perfectly content lugging their things from apartment to apartment when they wanted to be together. In this way, they could spend the weekends at one of their places and then have their own space during the week to do their own things. Kai had never given much thought to what would happen if one of them suddenly wanted to combine their lives completely.
"I've.....thought about it," Kai answered carefully.
"Why?" He thought he knew the answer before Uruha blurted it out, but what came out of Uruha's mouth was not at all the particular words he'd had in mind.
"Well, because Aoi asked me to move in with him," Uruha muttered and then bit into his bottom lip as he looked up at Kai through mussed strands of hair. Kai's hand moved of its own volition, a practiced, familiar motion, to brush away the hair from Uruha's face and tuck it behind his pierced ears. Uruha's earrings caught the light in the room and shone silver and Kai let his gaze focus there, watched them dangling as Uruha moved and shifted slightly.
"Aoi.....asked you to move in with him," He repeatedly carefully, not entirely sure if he'd heard Uruha correctly.
Surely Uruha had just jumbled his words up and meant something different. His stomach was already turning and he was suddenly feeling a bit queasy. He had thought they'd gone over this already....this....this.....pairing off shit.
Kai felt a sudden flare of anger rise in the pit of his stomach before he could stop it. He was being irrational, he was jumping to conclusions before Uruha could explain himself. He took a deep breath and allowed his gaze to travel back to Uruha's face and what he saw there confirmed his uncomfortable suspicions. Uruha looked guilty. It was the one look he hated on Uruha, the way he moistened his lips and looked around like a flighty bird and then bit the corner of his mouth. He hated it even more when that look was on his face because he was feeling guilty because of Aoi. Kai had thought they were past this sort of ridiculous drama.
"What the fuck does that mean?" It slipped from his mouth before he could even stop it and he was looking down at Uruha as if he'd gone batshit insane.
Uruha's face crumbled in the second it took for Kai to lose his composure and he looked about ready to pout and when Uruha began to pout, it meant a hailstorm of emotions were about to be thrown at the source of his pouting. Kai immediately regretted his choice of words, but hell.....he didn't know what to think right now.
"Kai...." Uruha slid his hands from his chest to cup his face as if he was afraid Kai was going to look away from him or throw him off and leave. Maybe that had crossed Kai's mind in the split second it had taken Uruha to ruin the lazy contented mood of the evening, but he'd never walk away from Uruha even in anger.
Nothing Uruha could do would warrant that sort of reaction from Kai. He was not Aoi. Aoi could bitch and throw a temper tantrum and leave in a huff when things went wrong, but Kai's nature was to stay and try to talk rationally and figure out a solution. And that's just what he was going to do now.....if his anger would let him.
"Kai, I knew you were going to be pissed." Uruha leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Kai's mouth, but he made no move to lean into the kiss or participate in any way, just continued to look at Uruha and wait for a reasonable explanation, an explanation he hoped was a damn good one. Sweet kisses weren't going to get Uruha anywhere if Kai didn't like the answer he gave him.
"Don't look at me like that," Uruha chastised softly.
"I haven't given him an answer yet. I said I'd talk to you first. I don't take a step unless you take a step with me."
"You'd talk to me first? When did your talk with Aoi even take place? And where was I when you were discussing our future? Or am I even in your plans?" Kai growled and sat up until Uruha was forced to slide off of him and sit up too.
"Why didn't Aoi talk to me with you?" Kai tried to keep his tone of voice rational, but the pitch was steadily climbing, clearly a good indicator that his temper was teetering on a dangerous edge.
"What the hell are thinking, Kai?" Uruha suddenly frowned and gave Kai a perplexed look.
"Of course you're in our plans. What would make you think you weren't? Aoi asked me to move in with him and asked if you would want to as well, but he was convinced you were happier living in your own apartment. He asked my opinion but I didn't know what to tell him.We know how you are with your space...." Uruha trailed off and shrugged, his gaze slipping away from Kai's face momentarily before he looked over at Kai again.
"And you know how Aoi is with serious issues. He'll hide until someone else takes care of them for him....I....I told him I wasn't his mediator and that he needed to talk to you, but of course he left it up to me as always." It was so rare that Uruha ever fumbled over words and looked so unsure that Kai wasn't entirely sure himself what to make of what Uruha was telling him.
On one end of the spectrum, he sympathized with Uruha and wanted to kiss him and tell him it was okay and he'd talk to Aoi himself, and on the other end, he wanted to jump out of bed and go storming around the bedroom like a spoiled child on a rampage. On that end of the spectrum, grabbing Aoi as soon as he walked into the room and tearing into him about avoiding him seemed like a fine idea, an anger pleasing idea...
"What's wrong with him coming up to me and asking me himself? I don't understand," Kai muttered. Though he thought he understood completely. He knew Aoi was the world's worst person to go to with serious problems.
Aoi had some sort of phobia when it came to working out issues, but that wasn't what upset Kai the most, or what made him literally sick to his stomach and made him feel like shit. Why could Aoi go to Uruha with these things and not come to Kai with an issue that largely involved him? It didn't make any sense and it hurt Kai's feelings worse than he thought he could ever admit. He had a sickening feeling that Aoi would always tip the scales in Uruha's directions, even if he did love Kai. But Kai wasn't going to play this game again.
"Kai, you know he loves you and he wants you with us. He didn't do it to upset you on purpose. He just doesn't think sometimes....but I know how you think....and I knew you weren't going to like this. I didn't even want to tell you, but I had to...someone had to." Uruha's voice had dropped to an almost-whisper and he looked about as sick to his stomach as Kai was feeling.
"It always has to be you doesn't it?" Kai muttered, his fingers curling against Uruha's back.
Uruha looked so upset and uneasy that Kai forced himself to calm down and he used all the energy he had left in his body to push his anger back into the corner where it usually belonged. He knew right now he had a perfectly good reason to be infuriated, but Uruha wasn't the source of his anger and so he slid down into the bed and settled onto his back and pulled Uruha back against him. Uruha frowned and swallowed hard, but eventually settled his warm cheek back against Kai's chest and wrapped an arm around his waist.
"I love you Kai," Uruha murmured, lips pressed against his chest. Kai shivered and threaded his fingers through blond hair.
"You know I love you," Kai whispered. And don't tell me he loves me for him , He wanted to growl through clenched teeth, but Uruha remained silent as if he already knew what Kai was thinking.
"Just try to get some sleep. We do have to be at the studio tomorrow afternoon. Vacation is over." He knew his voice was still just a bit too hard as his thoughts drifted. His mind wasn't on practice or sleeping. It was on Aoi and deeper things, but Uruha wasn't a part of that.
Everything had always been perfect when it came to Uruha. Uruha loved Kai and Aoi so completely and so equally that there had never been any room for any major problems to sneak in and sabotage their relationship. Uruha's love for them was too open for that. Aoi on the other hand was a tightly closed book that only Uruha seemed to hold the key to.
Why did Aoi have to tip the fucking scales the way he did? He knew Aoi wanted this, wanted him here, so what was the secret to opening him up completely? Would Kai ever truly know his lover as well as Uruha did? It was an endless struggle, a fathomless frustration to have everything on one end, and only what Aoi let him have on the other end. Uruha drifted off to sleep against him, too worn out to stay up and worry with him and eventually Kai could no longer hold his eyes open to watch the room slowly turning colors as the sun came up.
The first thing he noticed when he woke was that he'd somehow managed to roll to the end of the bed and his arm and his head were hanging over the edge. He stared at the hardwood floor for a moment before pushing himself back so he wouldn't roll off the bed and felt a warm back press into his own.
The clock on the wall read noon and his mind hurried to catch up with his sluggish body to alert him that they only had an hour to get to the studio. Sometimes he really hated being the leader of his band with all its responsibilities and its headaches. He wasn't sure everyone understood how much more he was forced to carry on his shoulders than the other members to keep this thing running smoothly.
People looked to him to get certain things done, and to make sure they kept getting done at a decent rate and time, and half of that time that meant making himself a tyrant in the eyes of the other band members when it came to deadlines and the sort. At least Uruha understood the stress in his own way and would cater to him when he saw that Kai was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
When Kai got home from a long day of working himself to death, sometimes Uruha would be waiting for him naked in bed. He would pull Kai down into the sheets and massage his entire body and then make love to him until everything he had been stressing over had bled from his skin with his sweat, as if he'd been cleansed for another day. At those times, Uruha truly seemed in tune with him and understanding, and even Aoi would join them during these times and attempt to cook for Kai whenever he was able to pull himself from his own work.
But the difference between Kai and Aoi and work, was that Aoi truly enjoyed working into the long hours of the night without sleep. He liked going to practice in the morning looking like a zombie with dark rings under his eyes and a lag in his step if it meant he'd created some masterpiece or had edited whatever he'd been given to work on.
Kai had never actually called him out to his face, but he was almost certain that Aoi was what one called a "workaholic" to the extreme. Kai and Uruha found Aoi having an intense love affair with his computer late at night too frequently these days. Kai enjoyed his rest even if Aoi wasn't so appreciative of it. Aoi could understand Kai's stress in the only way he knew how, but sometimes Kai still felt a bit on his own, as if no one would truly understand the headache that came from the position he held in the band and sometimes.....from this relationship he was involved in as well. It was all too much for him some days.
Kai groaned and pushed himself to sit up and stretch. His body protested and he was sure he felt and heard
a few joints pop as he arched his back and rolled his neck around a bit. When he looked down beside him, he knew what he would see. Aoi was between them looking as if he'd just stripped in a hurry and then dived into bed and passed out.
He was splayed on his stomach, naked to the waist, his face pressed into the pillow to where Kai was almost afraid he was going to suffocate that way. Uruha's head was resting on Aoi's shoulder and his fingers were caressing the bare skin of Aoi's back lazily. Kai wasn't sure if Uruha was awake or if he was touching Aoi in his sleep. He'd woken to find Uruha petting his hair in a sort of half dream-state a few times. He wasn't sure if he could account that for sleep walking or not...
Last night's argument came back to him slowly as he watched Aoi and Uruha sleeping and he felt that white- hot anger flare up for just a second before it died back down and he could only feel tired. He still wasn't sure what to think about the whole situation yet. He would wait to say anything about it until he got Aoi alone and until then, he would do his best not to lose control and yell at him. He sighed heavily and slid out of bed, leaving his lovers to the few more minutes of sleep he could give them.
He made his way to the kitchen and took down two mugs and a glass from the cabinet and then set about making a pot of coffee. While he was waiting for the coffee to brew, he decided to go ahead and give Reita a call to make sure he and Ruki were awake and getting ready to leave for the studio. He leaned against the counter and waited for Reita to answer. He knew it was useless to try calling Ruki. He'd only get an earful for waking him up and he knew he was probably staying with Reita anyway. He would rather let Reita deal with that.
"We're up and on our way," Reita informed him without so much as a greeting. Kai grinned and held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he poured coffee into the two mugs on the counter.
"Just making sure. It's the first day of recording and I'm not getting my ass chewed out for everyone else today. Sorry. Ah, shit..." Kai hissed as some of the coffee in one of the mugs overflowed onto his hand. He grabbed a towel and wrapped his hand as Reita laughed at him on the other end of the phone. It was always a sign that he was in a bad mood and over-stressed when he started cussing too easily this way.
"Aoi made it in alright?" Reita asked, as if he knew already what Kai was doing, always the one to cater and pamper everyone. He didn't think he could force himself to stop nurturing the people he truly cared about if he had wanted to.
They could put him through hell and back, and they had on several occasions, and he'd still want to take care of them. It was just in his nature to make sure that everything and everyone around him ran smoothly, it was why he'd accepted the position of leader in the band. Leading and nurturing were natural to him.
"Tell him we'll be there in an hour. We're busy." Ruki's voice suddenly sounded off to the side and Kai frowned. The sound of kissing had Kai rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.
He poured several packets of sweetener and a bit of milk into Uruha's mug until the liquid was a very light brown. The coffee in the other mug was dark, almost black and Kai grimaced as he imagined how strong it would be. He wasn't sure how Aoi drank down that stuff, but Aoi had told him it woke him up in the mornings better than anything else did and he needed both of his lovers up and clear-eyed today.
"Yes, Aoi's here. Reita, don't let him rape you and make you late. I'm not standing up for you to management today. I haven't had the best night," Kai grumbled, pouring orange juice into the glass he'd taken down and then taking a sip from it.
"It's not rape when he's willing," Ruki retorted with a low chuckle.
"And since when do you have a bad night when Uruha's involved? I haven't heard from you two in days. I know what you've been doing," Ruki purred and there was some shuffling and muffled laughter before Kai imagined the phone was handed back to Reita.
"Yeah, we'll be there on time. I promise," Reita muttered.
"Liar!" Ruki yelled from the background and Kai inwardly groaned.
"Just don't be too late," He pleaded before the line went dead.
He knew how futile it was the argue with the other half of this unconventional relationship and could only shrug. He wasn't going to save their asses when they walked in late beneath the annoyed glare of their manager. The first day of recording was always the most important in Kai's opinion. He wasn't sure how Ruki could never take it as seriously as Kai did, given Ruki's anal retentive eye for detail. If everything wasn't perfect in composition and art, according to Ruki, he'd throw his own form of a tantrum and no one would be happy until he was.
Kai picked up Aoi's mug and cradled Uruha's in the other hand as he made his way back to the bedroom. He set the coffee down on the nightstand before crawling onto the bed and sitting at his lover's feet. They were still in the same position he had left them in earlier, except Uruha's hand lay limp against Aoi's back now and he was snoring just the slightest. A grin crept onto Kai's face unbidden.
"Uru," He called, pulling on his exposed leg gently. When Uruha remained motionless and unresponsive, he slapped Aoi's ass just a little too hard and received a kick to his knee. A sharp pain shot up his leg at Aoi's sudden attack and he growled and slapped him again, harder this time. Aoi knew better than to try kicking him again and merely shifted his ass away from Kai and fumbled for the sheet before drawing it up around his waist, as if by covering his ass, that would save it from getting assaulted again.
"Get up!" He growled, all thoughts of waking them up gently suddenly evaporated.
"I'm not letting you walk in late today!"
"What's going on. What's everyone yelling about," Uruha muttered groggily and raised his head. He shielded his eyes from the harsh light coming in through the windows and looked over at Kai through squinted eyes.
"It's the tyrant," Aoi mumbled without looking up from suffocating himself in the pillow.
Kai grabbed the end of the sheet and then pulled it back away from his lovers. Uruha gasped and hugged himself as his naked body was exposed to the cool air. At any other time, maybe Kai would have had sympathy for Uruha, but when it came to schedules and being on time, he was serious.
"I made coffee, so get up and drink it." He slid out of bed to grab up the two coffee mugs and held them up for Uruha to see. Aoi was still as he had been since Kai had woken up, and Kai almost considered getting a nice bucket of cold water to throw all over him. That would exact a small, satisfying revenge for the conversation he'd had with Uruha last night.
"Can you at least give me the sheet back?" Uruha pouted and held his hand out to Kai. Instead of the sheet though, Kai placed the coffee cup in his hand and strode off to the closet on the far side of the room.
"Just get dressed and then you won't need the sheet," Kai said as he he rummaged through the endless racks of Aoi's clothes.
It looked as if Aoi had robbed an entire store with as many outfits as he had crammed into the small space of closet he was afforded. Kai took a nice t-shirt and jacket and a pair of dark jeans from their hanger and draped them over Aoi's dresser. He then dug around in Uruha's over night bag and took out something similar.
"Here," He called before tossing the shirt and jeans Uruha's way.
Uruha made a half-hearted attempt to grab at the clothes while he sat sipping on his coffee, but he missed and they instead landed on Aoi's back and head. Uruha laughed into his coffee mug as Aoi cursed and turned over, brushing the clothes off of his body in the process.
"Can't you let me sleep? I got in an hour ago. My fucking flight was delayed," Aoi growled, throwing Kai the murderous glares he was so used to Uruha giving everyone when he was in a pissy mood. On Uruha those glares could be terrifying when they were genuine, but on a sleep-deprived Aoi, they just looked sulky and humorous and Kai let himself chuckle a little much to Aoi's chagrin.
"Albums don't record themselves while you laze around. You can sleep when we get home," Kai muttered.
He was strangely devoid of sympathy for Aoi this morning. If it was because of his confrontation with Uruha last night, he wasn't sure, or maybe he just didn't want to admit that was the reason because he was ashamed. Even at his angriest, he rarely ever treated his lovers without respect and devotion.
Uruha was already sluggishly pulling on his t-shirt by the time Aoi decided to get up and retrieve his own clothes. He caught Kai's gaze as he walked past him and he seemed to ask with his eyes what was wrong. But Kai looked away and bent down to begin rummaging through his own duffel bag.
Aoi didn't even attempt to kiss him as if he knew Kai was pissed about more than being late to the studio. There would be time for talk later on. Even if he did have time to talk to Aoi right now, he wasn't sure he would be able to string together a coherent argument without blowing up on Aoi. It was an unsettling thought.
TBC.....
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A/N: Remember when I said that Paradox was the last story in the series? Well I lied. I'm just a big fat liar. This is really really old, but I decided to pick it back up and continue the scenes I started to write. These three will never have any peace and quiet D: