Chapter Six
[ How I'm feeling|
Blah]
[ What I'm listening to| Bad Thingz (DNTST Rework)- Meiko
Title: Hide and seek (6/?)
Pairings: Aoi/Uruha
Warnings: None....again you say? taha
Rating: R-NC-17 (rating will change from chapter to chapter)
Summary: Chasing you was like chasing the wind, the more I ran after you, the farther away you got. I always ended up empty handed.
Uruha sighed and blew smoke against the glass and watched as his reflection grimaced back at him. He tried rearranging his face into something more pleasant, but the smile looked forced and sarcastic and so he turned away from the window and stubbed his cigarette out onto the windowsill. A black ring charred itself into the white paint and that little moment of destruction, of rebellion, calmed the thudding in Uruha's chest some. When he turned back to the window, the figures down below had moved further into the park, out of his line of sight.
"I should quit," He muttered to himself as he picked the end of the dead cigarette between thumb and forefinger and dropped it into the ashtray he'd neglected all morning. There were a lot of things he should think about quitting, he knew, but he also knew that he wouldn't quit any of them. He would allow his addictions to dig their way further beneath his skin until they killed him, but at least he'd die in a state of euphoria, pleasure running rampant in his veins. A whole trail of cigarette ends were invading his house at this point and he looked around at them and felt a familiar sadness working it's way back into his chest.
"Fuck," He swore and rubbed his hands over his face, over his tired eyes and warm cheeks and through his tousled hair. Aoi had kept him up half the night with his juvenile needs, his heated kisses and the sting of teeth against his jawline. Uruha had had to still the beast in himself, the one that wanted to dig his nails into Aoi's back and scratch. He wanted to pull the clothes from Aoi's warm skin and have him the way he wanted to, none of this shy touching and kissing in the dark because Aoi was still on edge about the cock in Uruha's pants.
That thought alone had the pounding in Uruha's head starting up again. He pressed his nose to the cold glass of the window and tried to make out the shape of Aoi's dark jacket he'd seen ambling through the park, and the slip of a woman he'd been with. He pressed the back of his fingers to his lips and felt the slight trembling in them for what it was.
He'd known jealousy before, when his sister had gotten the bike he'd wanted, when a good friend of his had found success while he was still playing on a rented guitar in someone's basement. Once in high school, his girlfriend had dumped him for an older guy, and he'd been jealous for a day, seething and seeing red, but only because the girl had had the gall to dump him, until some other hiked up shirt and tight uniform shirt had caught his eye. He was never one for jealousy over people and things he couldn't change, and yet here he was, trying to still the trembling in his fingers. He didn't liked his favorite things being touched. Maybe he wasn't prone to jealousy but he was undoubtedly greedy.
He pulled his scarf down from a top shelf in his closet and wrapped it around his neck. He was already half an hour late for a lunch date with a friend. There were so many thoughts running through his head, he had to wonder what sort of company he was going to be this afternoon. He knew what he was to Aoi, had clearly drawn invisible boundaries around them both, set down the "rules" of no strings attached. He knew Aoi was taking girls home and fucking them senseless. Uruha remembered that routine well, but it irked him that Aoi was giving away what he wanted so badly.
Uruha had just wanted the sex, and he'd been denied even that so far. He'd been reduced to kissing Aoi on the couch, pushing him down into the cushions and resisting the urge to let his hands go further, only to go home and take care of himself with his face pressed into a pillow. He wasn't sure what he was he doing anymore, what goal he was working towards when Aoi was clearly not into taking this any further. Even with the flighty women Uruha had pursued, he would have given up a long time ago and moved on to someone that actually wanted him.
He tugged the scarf around his neck roughly and stuffed it down the front of his jacket before pocketing his house keys and heading out the door. His mind was so busy running a marathon that he nearly ran into Aoi jogging up the stairwell. Aoi steadied himself with a hand on the railing and looked up at him, panting and out of breath from his run up the stairs, and Uruha could only stare back at him, uncomprehending.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, brow furrowing. He had been sure Aoi was on his way to seducing that girl in the park, and would be missing in action for the rest of the week. He'd already resolved himself to a lonely week of alcohol and solo guitar sessions in any case. They had said their goodbyes hours ago with sweat cooling on their brows and guilt shadowing their slow movements- the brush of mussed hair, the readjusting of shirt buttons that had accidentally been undone in the frenzy of the moment.
Aoi opened his mouth, and then seemed to think better of whatever he'd been about to say. Aoi's hand tangled itself in the collar of Uruha's jacket and before he could register what was happening, Aoi was kissing him. Uruha held onto the stair railing and groaned as Aoi kept him tethered in place and kissed him breathless. It wasn't the usual shy exploration, the hesitant touch of tongues, so sure of rejection and judgment. This was hot, thrumming arousal, and Uruha felt himself being pulled under, desperate and fumbling to keep up with Aoi's need.
"Aoi," Uruha panted against Aoi's mouth and gasped when Aoi only growled in response, teeth nicking, sinking into his bottom lip.
"Let's go inside," Aoi whispered, pushing against Uruha's chest, urging him back towards his apartment. Uruha nodded, his hand slipping down between them to grab Aoi's hand and pull him after him. His mind was racing, his heart frantic as he kicked the door closed behind Aoi and headed for his bedroom. He felt hands against the small of his back, fingers pulling him back by the waist and when he turned around in the circle of Aoi's arms, he could see it in Aoi's flushed face that the bedroom was a few feet too far away at the moment.
"Do you....really want this?" He found himself asking despite himself. He could have taken whatever he wanted with enough force weeks ago. He knew how to play people and he knew how to get what he wanted, but even more than wanting to get Aoi into bed, he wanted Aoi to come willingly. He had needed this.....to make it a prospect that kept Aoi up at night, something that he would eventually come to crave. He wanted Aoi to need him.
"Are you sure?"
Aoi's only response was to push him down to the couch and that was answer enough. The warm press of Aoi's body had Uruha tilting his head back against the couch cushions and moaning softly. He could feel how much Aoi wanted him against his thigh, and he rubbed his leg there slowly, loving the way Aoi shuddered and pressed against him harder.
Aoi pulled his scarf away from his neck and his mouth touched the bounding pulse in his neck and Uruha found his fingers pulling at the buttons on Aoi's shirt...doing what they'd wanted to do for weeks now. Aoi shrugged his jacket and shirt off, mouth still pressing half-formed kisses to Uruha's neck and jawline.
Uruha ran his hands over Aoi's bare shoulders, shuddered at the silky warmth of his skin and the way Aoi moaned softly against his neck. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this sort of sensual, electric sensation from touching someone....from wanting them so much. His hands slid across Aoi's chest, and down his stomach, feeling tensed muscles, and then his fingers fumbled with Aoi's belt as he tried to keep up with Aoi's desperate kisses.
"Touch me," Aoi whispered against his mouth, and Uruha swore under his breath, cock straining against his jeans. It was all he ever wanted to do these days to Aoi- touch him, kiss him, make him feel good. He yanked at Aoi's belt and got it out of the way so that he could push his pants and boxers down over his hips.
His mouth slid away from Aoi's, spit slicked and reddened, so that he could see what he'd done to Aoi. Aoi was hard and he fit familiarly into Uruha's hand the way he had that day on the kitchen floor. Aoi didn't let him look for long and suddenly he was being kissed breathless again as his fist slid against Aoi's cock.
"Like this?" He whispered against Aoi's mouth and Aoi hissed, fingers digging into the couch cushions beside Uruha's head. When he brushed his thumb over the head of Aoi's cock, it came away wet and he groaned, teeth sinking into Aoi's bottom lip.
Aoi tasted like the mouthwash he'd gargled in Uruha's bathroom that morning. He smelled like the cologne he had borrowed from Uruha, and for some reason those little thoughts, those images, turned him on even more. He forgot for a moment how much those things had irritated him when it came to other people in his personal space.
"Like that," Aoi breathed against his cheek, thumb sliding against Uruha's bottom lip. Uruha's body was thrumming, lost on a completely different plane of existence than his mind, but his mind immediately caught the way Aoi's hand slipped from his mouth, brushed against his neck lightly, and then slid down his chest.
His body was quick to catch up, and Uruha held his breath for a second, wondering if Aoi was really going to be bold enough. His hips strained upwards as Aoi's fingers slid beneath his shirt and brushed over one of his nipples. Aoi had turned his face away and their cheeks were pressed together, and Uruha could feel the red hot heat there in Aoi's face. And fuck if that didn't drive him even crazier.
"Yes..." He panted, squirming beneath Aoi's body, hand pumping Aoi to the beat of his own heart. He almost came when Aoi pushed up his shirt and he was forced to pull his hand away from Aoi's cock as Aoi bent over his chest. Aoi's warm breath against his chest sent a thrill through his body. There was a moment's hesitation as Aoi glanced up at him and then the tip of his tongue circled his nipple.
"Fuck..." Uruha swore, dragging his hand through his hair and arching his back. Aoi's teeth nipped and then he flicked his tongue against the nipple and Uruha was sure he was going to pull Aoi's hair out by the handful the way he grabbed at it. That was the trouble with most of his lovers. They always forgot about his chest and that was the one area someone could tease and have him coming in minutes. But he didn't want it to end too soon, and so he tugged on Aoi's hair, pulled him away from his chest and kissed him hard on the mouth.
Aoi ground his hips down against Uruha as they kissed and he wondered not for the first time where Aoi planned to take this. He got his answer when Aoi snaked a hand between their bodies and touched Uruha through his pants. There was something unsure but desperate in Aoi's eyes and Uruha found himself pulling Aoi back down to his mouth by the back of his neck.
"This is enough," He murmured and Aoi nodded.
It wasn't enough, would never be enough, he was convinced. But he also knew that he had Aoi in the palm of his hand...quite literally at the moment, and Aoi wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He almost sighed in relief when Aoi unbuttoned his pants and slipped a hand inside despite his worries. Aoi must have figured they'd gone this far, they might as well finish it off.
To have Aoi's hand against him after the weeks of holding himself back was overwhelming. Uruha shuddered as Aoi stroked him and then brushed their cocks together and he was sure that at any moment he wouldn't be able to hold back any longer . Uruha groaned and helped Aoi to stroke them both, and all the while Aoi's mouth was everywhere....pressing against his neck and chest, tongue dipping into his mouth and teeth biting the lobe of his ear. Aoi was relentless and it was driving Uruha crazy. He pulled Aoi down against him when he felt the pleasure boiling over.
"I'm coming," He gasped into Aoi's ear and Aoi's hand stroked faster.
His breath hitched and he saw white pinpricks of light against his eyelids as he squeezed them closed and came against their hands. His hand continued to stroke Aoi, helping to finish him even as his body shuddered and tingled. Aoi tilted his head back and his hips jerked as he came all over Uruha's stomach soon after. Uruha felt the warmth against his skin and looked down to find the mess they'd made all over his stomach and jeans and hands. It sent another wrack of shivers through his body.
Aoi knelt between his legs, eyes still closed, head tilted back, hand rubbing the mess against his own stomach and then over his cock lazily. He seemed to be in another world entirely, sated and still riding high on the end of his orgasm. Uruha found it to be one of the most erotic things he'd ever seen. He couldn't stop staring.
Uruha stretched against the couch and smiled when Aoi finally opened his eyes and looked down at him. He expected awkwardness, Aoi snatching up his shirt and going to hide in the bathroom, but instead, Aoi fell back against the arm of the couch and sat there staring back at him, shaking his head.
"Fuck," Aoi breathed softly. Uruha had to agree. It had been a long time since anyone had made him feel like that....so completely out of control and desperate to the point where he was left shaking in the aftermath. Having Aoi finally touch him that way was more than he had hoped to get for a long while.
"Why didn't we do that sooner?" Aoi asked and Uruha shot him an incredulous look.
"I've been offering, you idiot," He huffed, foot nudging Aoi's leg. He rearranged his boxers and buttoned his pants up and then let his gaze take in the much appreciated sight of Aoi lounging shamelessly against his couch half naked.
Uruha's mind was restless with questions but they all sat quietly on his lips as he glanced over at Aoi curiously. He wanted to know why Aoi had decided to come rushing up here and if he had had the intent to fuck him all along, or if something had just broken inside him in that moment on the stairwell. But then he remembered telling Aoi to stop thinking so much, to just do, and he shushed his thoughts. If he couldn't take his own advice, how could he expect anyone else to?
Aoi left him sitting on the couch and brought back a damp washcloth which he handed over to Uruha with a small smile. Uruha felt like taking a nice, long shower, but instead he wiped his stomach and hands clean on the cloth and watched as Aoi did the same with slow, lazy strokes.
"You ruined my plan," Aoi muttered under his breath as he went about wiping away the guilty evidence.
"Your plan? And what was that? " Uruha rose an eyebrow and settled back against the couch. He flicked a finger in his direction and Aoi's smirk lengthened as he dropped the washcloth on the floor. Uruha glanced at it distastefully, but didn't have the heart or energy to make Aoi bring it to the bathroom.
"I was going to seduce you in the movie theater."
Uruha's laughter was sharp and loud between them and he covered his mouth with the back of his hand to keep it from bubbling out even louder. He knew his eyes were gleaming mischievously as he looked over at Aoi. He thought he'd had Aoi pegged for a very predictable sort of person, but it seemed that Aoi was full of surprises instead.
"I was going to bring you to a movie this weekend and stick my hands down your pants," Aoi confessed, hanging his head momentarily for effect, but Uruha's smile twisted into a half-frown and he kicked Aoi's leg again playfully. There was no shame whatsoever in Aoi at that moment, and it sent a shiver of excitement and expectation down his spine.
"No one's ever made me come that fast," Uruha admitted, and nearly burst out laughing when Aoi rose an eyebrow and a smug smile spread across his face. He was pleased with himself, that much was certain, and Uruha liked that haughtiness, liked Aoi knowing how much he affected him....how much he wanted his cock. He wanted Aoi to know that Uruha had been touching himself in bed for weeks and throwing his sheets in the wash every morning because Aoi's face was burned into the back of his eyelids and each time he closed them, he was picturing Aoi naked.
"You liked it?" Aoi asked and when Uruha only rose an eyebrow and twisted his mouth in mock disbelief, Aoi shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. If he needed any more evidence that Uruha had enjoyed his hand, he could pick up the washcloth again. He felt he'd released a river from his body in the space of ten minutes.
"I like the change," Uruha replied carefully and waited for Aoi's reaction...a denial, a confession, anything. He knew it was asking a bit much to make Aoi confess to where this was leading, but the masochist in him was getting tired of running after Aoi and getting rejected.
"Hungry?" Aoi asked suddenly and Uruha's tiny wisp of hope evaporated into the air. He watched as Aoi slowly pulled his shirt back on without looking at him.
"Yes," He admitted grudgingly.
There would be no confession as he'd already predicted. Aoi would go on pretending that nothing was happening between them until he got desperate again and this episode was repeated. That was what Uruha was turning out to be it seemed, the desperate lay. His lip curled at the thought as he watched Aoi stand from the couch and pull his coat on. His phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he cursed as he checked it.
"What?" Aoi asked as he tucked his scarf back around his neck.
"I had a lunch date with someone today and I forgot about it," Uruha muttered, a flush of shame creeping up the back of his neck. He hadn't forgotten of course, just been mildly distracted. His friend had left him an irritated text message telling Uruha to fuck off the next time he wanted to stand him up. And yet he would do it again if it meant that Aoi would get him off like that again.
"A date date?" Aoi asked, and Uruha glanced up quickly at the tone he'd detected in Aoi's voice. He raised an eyebrow as Aoi fiddled with the scarf around his neck and looked everywhere but at Uruha's face.
"No...a friend date," Uruha answered carefully and smiled when Aoi just shrugged and cleared his throat.
"Just curious."
"Uh huh," Uruha hummed, studying Aoi for another minute as he fidgeted. There was a guiltiness to Aoi's shuffling feet and the way he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down to his feet.
"Well, I'd rather go out to eat with you, so let's go," He urged, standing from the couch and fixing his own skewed scarf.
"I'm treating." Aoi held Uruha's jacket out to him and Uruha took it with a half smile. He reined in his annoyance at Aoi's aloofness as he had been doing every day for the past week. He let the irritation seep back into his skin where it wouldn't be a trouble to anyone but himself. He had no right to feel this way when he'd so clearly agreed to this loose affair. Why was he getting upset about Aoi not acknowledging what they were doing anyway? Aoi was a master of subterfuge and dodging serious issues. He'd known this long before he'd ever looked at Aoi with any sort of interest.
This was exactly what he had wanted...for Aoi to come running to him when he wanted a good fuck. That was all this was ever meant to be. And yet he couldn't help the lingering disappointment that reared it's ugly head once more as he followed Aoi out into the sharp autumn chill.
********
The dull roar of a thousand voices filled the stadium and Uruha felt the electricity run through his body in pulsing waves. He grinned into the bright stage lights and brought his arm down in an arc over his guitar, and the shrill sound it made had a shiver running down his back. He never felt more alive than he did here on stage, playing for a sea of adoring faces. It was a high almost better than sex. Almost.
He felt Ruki's hand brush his back, turned to find Ruki standing next to him, foot propped against his amplifier, smiling at him. He nodded, knowing what was expected, knowing the routine and secretly enjoying it. He offered the end of the guitar to Ruki and watched as Ruki ran the flat of his tongue along the neck of it. Beneath the stage lights the wood of his guitar gleamed wet. Ruki offered his sweaty face to him as if waiting for a kiss and instead of leaning down, Uruha laughed and patted the top of his head. And then that was that.
He turned on his heel and jogged back to the other side of the stage. A little fun with Ruki was always had at some point during the night, but it was Aoi he always wanted to play with. He glanced to where Aoi was leaning over, egging the crowd on with that smirk of his. He waited for Aoi to look up and when they caught one another's gaze, he tilted his chin suggestively. Their solos were coming up, always the perfect opportunity to have a little fun. Aoi motioned him to the middle of the stage and he met him there with a smile on his face, the adrenaline pumping through his veins like a drug.
He let the music run through him and leaned against Aoi's side as he played, his fingers going through the motion they knew so well by now. He knew Aoi would try something to rile the crowd up, and he usually turned away from it playfully and the sadistic in him always loved the pout Aoi always threw him in return. It was just a little game they liked to play. But tonight was different, tonight he was on fire, and he'd been burning up the entire show.
Aoi was sweating as badly as Ruki was and when he tilted his head back and shook the hair from his eyes, his face and the hint of skin Uruha could see beneath Aoi's unbuttoned shirt shone. Uruha made up his mind then and there that was he going to do it. He put his weight against Aoi's arm and leaned over.
"Kiss me," He growled against Aoi's ear and grinned wider when Aoi turned his head to give him a look of wide-eyed surprise.
"You sure?" Aoi mouthed, fingers fumbling against the strings of his guitar. Uruha inwardly winced at the very noticeable flub. But hell, did Aoi look amazing tonight. The need for perfection right now was gone and in its place was that wild, chaotic lust for Aoi he couldn't seem to tame, especially now that they were molesting each other on a daily basis. The makeup around Aoi's eyes was smudged just the slightest and his face was flushed and he was smiling, all teeth and tongue as Uruha pulled him forward by the back of the neck, guitar pick caught between two fingers.
He barely heard the roar of the crowd become increasingly louder as he pressed his mouth against Aoi's, fingers curling against the damp hair at the nape of his neck. Everything seemed to become muted for the split second it took for them to kiss. Just a firm press of lips, juvenile compared to what they'd been doing to each other lately, but Aoi's lips fit perfectly with his own.
His senses were on overload with the taste of Aoi on his mouth, such a familiar taste these days, a taste that always drove him crazy. He felt Aoi whisper something against his mouth, something like fuck and Uruha smiled as he pulled away. The world came back into sharp focus and the screams were deafening. Oh, they would be hearing about this one for a long time to come. He glanced over Aoi's shoulder to Kai and caught the frown he shot them.
He enjoyed being bad, loved being in the need for a nice scolding from Kai. He'd be picturing Aoi's hand in his pants as he shuffled his feet beneath Kai's stern gaze later on. Maybe he'd do it again. He grinned and left Aoi standing in the middle of the stage, flustered and trying to keep up with the tempo, fingers flying over guitar strings and eyes darting everywhere but where they were supposed to be.
Uruha was feeling it too, that jittery, nervous excitement of breaking the rules and knowing that it all meant so much more than what anyone would ever know. He had ended their little stage game with a sweeping bow, and he even took an actual deep mocking bow towards Aoi to make it final. There was a shaky smile on Aoi's lips as he watched him bow and then Uruha was turning back to the crowd, playing for them, playing them, and loving every single heated moment of it.
********
"What was-" Kai began the moment they were all backstage, not even two minutes fresh off of it. Uruha cut him off with a sweaty towel to the face and couldn't bring himself to care that Kai was following on his heels like an angry devil.
"We all know what that was." He brushed Kai off and went to his claimed corner of their dressing room to commence cooling down. If there had been an ice-cold bucket of water near, he would have knelt down and stuck his entire head into it.
"They'll cut it all out anyway," Ruki offered from his dressing table, voice muffled as he draped a wet washcloth over his face.
"Hey, you don't hound Ruki when he-" Aoi began to protest.
"Ruki doesn't stick his tongue down anyone's throat," Kai shot back.
"There was no tongue. I assure you," Uruha pointed out, finger wagging for emphasis. That was definitely a no no in this uptight band. Back in the old days, it would have blown over easily, but they did things differently now. Everyone was stiff and important and very, very serious. Uruha wiped the grin from his face and showed Kai that he did mean business and he could be as serious as anyone in the room but Kai only sighed heavily and shook his head. Uruha shook his head as well, grabbed up his own face towel, and headed out the door.
He wanted to get away, and he knew that Aoi would follow. He heard the footsteps coming up behind him and held one of the side doors open for Aoi when he got to the end of the hallway. The cool air on his face was a relief and he gladly accepted the water bottle Aoi handed him once they were outside. His body was still thrumming, nerve endings firing, and he wanted nothing more than to find an empty room somewhere and finish what they’d started on the stage.
"That was incredibly risky of you," Aoi muttered. Uruha could hear the smug smile in his voice and just shrugged, draining his water bottle in one long gulp.
"You liked it," He growled and threw the empty bottle against the chain linked fence in front of them. He threaded his fingers through the fence and shook it, letting the frustration course through his body.
"I might have," Aoi agreed softly.
"You did," Uruha muttered as he turned and pulled Aoi against him by the collar of his shirt.
"I could feel how much you liked it through your pants." Uruha smiled as his fingers walked up the inside of Aoi's leg and brushed against a very noticeable bulge.
"How long are we going to keep doing this?" Aoi whispered, mouth hovering above Uruha's, waiting as usual for Uruha to make the first move.
"As long as we want to," Uruha growled, closing the distance between them.
**********
Uruha woke with the sensation of being infinitely warmer than when he'd first laid down. It took a moment to realize that he'd somehow made it to the shower-his hair was wet. And he'd gotten into a pair of boxers and tucked himself into bed. Uruha frowned as he sat up and instantly regretted the move. The world spun and he felt a nauseous kick to the stomach.
He swallowed back down the bitter taste of bile as he looked around the darkened room. The last thing he remembered was stumbling into a bar with the other guys and tipping back his fifth shot of something poisonous in after tour celebration. He hated not remembering a night, but then that happened quite frequently with him...
He fumbled around in the dark until he found his way out of the room and stumbled out into the hallway. The bathroom light was on and through it he could see the living room and the dark outline of someone lying on his couch. He crept into the living room and as he got closer, he recognized who it was.
Aoi had his arm thrown across his face and his shoes thrown across the floor. Uruha bent down and put his shoes under the coffee table and then made his way back to his room. He tugged the heavy coverlet from his bed and dragged it back to the couch to cover Aoi with it.
There was a slight chill in the room and he wasn't in the mood for nursing Aoi back to health if he caught a cold. He made a pot of coffee and sat in the recliner drinking it down in the hopes it would ward off a nasty hangover. He knew it wouldn't, but he had to try something. There was already a marching band playing full force in his head.
He watched Aoi sleeping for a long while and was amused at the way he hadn't moved at all since he’d found him here. The only indication that Aoi was alive was the faint rise and fall of his chest. They'd definitely had a wild night...and Uruha only wished he could remember it.
It was sometime later that he realized he'd dozed off. He cracked his eyes open to find sunlight streaming in through the windows and Aoi sitting up on the couch messing with his phone, his hair sticking up in ten different directions and the coverlet Uruha had thrown over him earlier, still wrapped around him like a cocoon.
"You sleep with your mouth open," Aoi commented, eyes still trained to his phone, his fingers flying over the face of it with preternatural speed.
"Well sometimes you snore," Uruha muttered and smiled when Aoi only grinned and continued whatever he was doing on his phone.
"Did I take a shower last night?" He wondered, fingers threading through the still slightly dampened strands of his hair. He'd probably have that cold he was worried about Aoi getting, but at least the marching band was gone.
"It was hell getting you in there, but I managed." Aoi shrugged.
"What?!" Uruha looked him incredulously.
"Are you saying that you gave me a shower?" There was an uncomfortable lag in the conversation in which Aoi continued typing on his phone, and then he slowly set it aside and looked up at Uruha with a bemused expression.
"Well...you vomited outside and then I dragged you up here. You kept going on about not getting in bed smelling like puke, so I undressed you and got you in the shower. You pulled me in at one point, so we basically took a shower together," Aoi finished with another little shrug.
"I was afraid you were going to drown and it was economical anyway," Aoi added as if that would make the situation any better.
"I'm sure it was." Uruha rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the small smirk that tucked itself into the corner of his mouth. The trouble wasn't Aoi putting him into a shower or even getting into it with him, but the fact that Uruha hadn't been conscious enough to take advantage of the situation. And hell, he wanted to remember something as monumental as a shower with Aoi.
"Your dropping the soap jokes were terrible and you may have slipped and fallen once or twice. Just be glad I was there or you'd be dead."
"I wasn't complaining." Uruha held his hands up.
"Thank you," He added softly as an afterthought when he saw the side of Aoi's neck turning a nice shade of red. Aoi only shrugged again and then pushed himself from the couch.
"I made another pot of coffee if you want some,” Aoi called from the kitchen. Uruha made a mumbled sound of agreement and pulled the thin blanket he'd dragged with him that morning around himself closer. The heat in his apartment had been broken for the the last three days and he hadn't been able to get anyone to fix the damn thing and he was definitely no mechanic.
The room was soon seeped in the smell of brewing coffee and he breathed it in gratefully. He wracked his brain for glimpses of what had happened last night, but once more came up with a long stretch of nothing, a blank where he and Aoi in the shower should have been.
A shiver went through his body at the thought of all he might have missed there. He knew what he was like when he was drunk, at least ten times as stupid and loud, and twenty times as horny. He’d had the pleasure of watching himself on Ruki’s phone on several occasions making an ass of himself. He was sure he’d even tried making out with Ruki on one of those nights, but there wasn't any video footage of that.
“Fuck,” He swore under his breath.
“Turn that frown upside down,” Aoi singsonged as he handed him a cup of coffee over his shoulder. Uruha thanked him with a small smile and let the steam and heady coffee bean scent waft beneath his nose for a long moment. The scent and warmth of the steam calmed the sickness in his stomach some.
“What are you doing today?” Uruha asked, looking over the rim of his cup at Aoi. He noticed Aoi hadn't poured himself a cup of coffee but was instead pulling his coat on slowly.
“Meeting up with a friend and then going home to work.” Aoi answered with a shrug.
“Want me to come over later?” Uruha asked, looking away to a spot across the room as Aoi looked up. There was a picture of the band he’d stuck up near the first album they’d released. He’d mounted it on the wall to remind himself of where they’d come from, and in the picture beside it they were just a bunch of scruffy haired boys, ignorant to where they’d end up in ten years.
He couldn't have guessed he’d be here in a ridiculously expensive bachelor pad with the world at his fingertips, but just as lonely as he’d ever been. He'd always thought he and Aoi would quit the band and get suckered into some dead end business life. He glanced back to Aoi and felt the look Aoi was giving him go straight to his lap. And then there was this- Aoi and this need. That was definitely something he could have never imagined happening.
“I’m just going to be working tonight. Boring stuff….” Aoi muttered. Uruha’s eyes followed the way Aoi’s hand rubbed the back of his neck and he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. He knew when someone was trying to get out of something. There was a sudden uncomfortable air in the room that made Uruha want to bolt and he could see that Aoi wanted to leave as well.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Uruha offered as a way out and Aoi took it like a man trying to escape execution. He was at the door and nearly through it by the time Uruha stood up to follow him.
“Want me to pick you up for practice in the morning?” He asked as Aoi started down the stairwell. He stopped just long enough to shrug and wave a hand dismissively.
“If you want to,” Aoi called out without looking back.
Uruha watched him leave with a mixture of curiosity and just a tad bit of that familiar irritation. The man had literally carted him home last night, given him a shower, surely held his hair back as he puked his guts out in the toilet, put him to bed, and then slept on the couch the entire night in the cold. So why the hasty retreat? This back and forth game was beginning to wear on his nerves and he wished not for the first time that Aoi would just make his mind up about this whole thing already.
Uruha had been ready for a morning snack before breakfast and he thought he’d seen the same sort of interest in the way Aoi had been looking at him all morning. He liked the way Aoi's eyes roved over him sometimes when he thought Uruha wasn't looking. But Uruha always caught that look out of the corner of his eye...the look of someone undressing a person with their gaze alone. It always sent fire through Uruha's body. Whomever had called women out on being the difficult sex had never met Shiroyama Yuu.
He tried to push down the sudden familiar feeling of loneliness as he watched Aoi's back until he was out of sight. He realized he'd been more than greedy in his pursuit of Aoi. He wanted the sex and he also wanted the friendship they'd had for years, but he was beginning to wonder if that was possible at this point. Nothing was ever the same once you touched someone in lust. There was an air of awkwardness that followed them after every night they spent together and Uruha found himself wishing for the laughs and the easy joking they'd just shared in the living room, but without the undertone of nerves and guilt. He wanted it all and the sane part of him knew that he was asking for the impossible.
He sighed and closed his door, rested his forehead there against the wood for a long moment as he steadied his heart. There was a whole list of people he could call right now, handfuls of women that would drop everything at the prospect of coming over for the night to chase the loneliness away, but he found himself pushing away from the door and settling down on the couch with his guitar cradled in his lap, wishing Aoi was there to harmonize perfectly with him.
TBC.....
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A/N: I hope this was enjoyable :) Progress is slow, but it's there taha I enjoy working on stories with frustrating characters~ Happy Valentine's Day everyone!