On The Couch: What The Future Holds
For the majority of us, the past is a regret and the future an experiment. - Mark Twain
“I know you don’t like talking about regrets, Lieutenant, so let’s talk about the future today.” Dr. Hendricks said.
“I thought we already had the “what do you want out of therapy” talk.” Murphy said, looking out the windows of Dr. Hendricks office. She didn’t feel like sitting today. The couch was becoming the enemy in its own way. Pacing helped her think as well. She liked being able to move around when she felt cornered. It gave her some sense of control at least.
“Not your future here, but out there,” Dr. Hendricks gestured to the windows. “in the real world. What do you want from the future out there?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly with a small shrug. “I want my daughter happy, that’s the big thing.”
“That’s good. You don’t usually talk about your daughter, and we’ll get to that relationship, but I’m asking about you. For example, do you want to make Captain one day? Or maybe move to another squad?”
“Why would I want to leave Homicide?” Murphy frowned at the doctor. “I like my job.” Her squad was her family, Kirmani wasn’t just her partner but her friend and strongest supporter. She had made a family for herself in her squad. She didn’t want to leave that.
“Alright, but what about being Captain?”
“Yeah, sure. I’d like to make Captain one day.” But she wasn’t going to. She was pretty sure that was beyond her now. She’s made too many enemies in her career, especially working with Harry. Lieutenant was fine for her though. It’s a higher rank than most policewomen get. “But, I’m not looking to climb the ladder.”
“So, if one day you were given the chance to run another squad, lead people, would you take it or stay in Homicide?”
Murphy blinked. She had never thought about running her own squad before. No one had offered her a chance and she didn’t expect anyone to. “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t have to leave active investigations right now. I like working cases. I don’t want to lose that.”
“Even though it takes away from your social life?” Hendricks pressed. “If you ran a squad, your hours would be better, you’d get paid more and have more free time to spend with not only your daughter but a boyfriend.”
“I want to work.” Murphy said firmly. “Sitting at a desk means I also have to play politics, and I hate politics. None of that holds any appeal to me. I don’t do this for the money either. And I’ve got a social life, thanks.”
“You do?” Dr. Hendricks perked up, “What do you want out of that? Have you thought about advancing that relationship?”
Murphy rubbed a hand over her face. “I’m comfortable with my personal and professional relationships. If they stayed like this for the rest of my life, I’d be fine with that. I’d like to advance, but the present’s fine too.”
Dr. Hendricks smiled, “That’s very good Lieutenant. Very good.”
“I know you don’t like talking about regrets, Lieutenant, so let’s talk about the future today.” Dr. Hendricks said.
“I thought we already had the “what do you want out of therapy” talk.” Murphy said, looking out the windows of Dr. Hendricks office. She didn’t feel like sitting today. The couch was becoming the enemy in its own way. Pacing helped her think as well. She liked being able to move around when she felt cornered. It gave her some sense of control at least.
“Not your future here, but out there,” Dr. Hendricks gestured to the windows. “in the real world. What do you want from the future out there?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly with a small shrug. “I want my daughter happy, that’s the big thing.”
“That’s good. You don’t usually talk about your daughter, and we’ll get to that relationship, but I’m asking about you. For example, do you want to make Captain one day? Or maybe move to another squad?”
“Why would I want to leave Homicide?” Murphy frowned at the doctor. “I like my job.” Her squad was her family, Kirmani wasn’t just her partner but her friend and strongest supporter. She had made a family for herself in her squad. She didn’t want to leave that.
“Alright, but what about being Captain?”
“Yeah, sure. I’d like to make Captain one day.” But she wasn’t going to. She was pretty sure that was beyond her now. She’s made too many enemies in her career, especially working with Harry. Lieutenant was fine for her though. It’s a higher rank than most policewomen get. “But, I’m not looking to climb the ladder.”
“So, if one day you were given the chance to run another squad, lead people, would you take it or stay in Homicide?”
Murphy blinked. She had never thought about running her own squad before. No one had offered her a chance and she didn’t expect anyone to. “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t have to leave active investigations right now. I like working cases. I don’t want to lose that.”
“Even though it takes away from your social life?” Hendricks pressed. “If you ran a squad, your hours would be better, you’d get paid more and have more free time to spend with not only your daughter but a boyfriend.”
“I want to work.” Murphy said firmly. “Sitting at a desk means I also have to play politics, and I hate politics. None of that holds any appeal to me. I don’t do this for the money either. And I’ve got a social life, thanks.”
“You do?” Dr. Hendricks perked up, “What do you want out of that? Have you thought about advancing that relationship?”
Murphy rubbed a hand over her face. “I’m comfortable with my personal and professional relationships. If they stayed like this for the rest of my life, I’d be fine with that. I’d like to advance, but the present’s fine too.”
Dr. Hendricks smiled, “That’s very good Lieutenant. Very good.”