Little Chicago: Blackbird
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
"Blackbird" - The Beatles
It was late Sunday afternoon and Murphy was in bed. What made it so unique was that she was Harry’s bed. It was startling how easy it was for her to just lay there with him, one arm of his holding her close to him even in sleep. He was out like a light, but she was too wound up to join him. Why was it so comfortable to be here? Not just physically comfortable, but emotionally too. She felt settled, like she hadn’t all day. She hadn’t been aware of just how much talking to Munzer had upset her until now with him. The simple peace of this moment made the weight of what she carried on her shoulders all day seem even heavier. Why had she let that criminal, that killer get to her like that? Thinking about Munzer made her uncomfortable and was ruining the moment for her. She had to let it go, especially when Harry was there with her.
She tucked her head under his chin, listening to him breathe and immersing herself in him. They were both still slightly damp from the shower, and he smelled like the simple soap he used. She would too, and there was something very intimate about that. They hadn’t even had sex yet, but the intimacy between them was remarkable to her. Sex brought intimacy for her normally, but with Harry she was learning that nothing was going to be normal. He wasn’t stable, he wasn’t safe, and he wasn’t normal, but she didn’t think about those things when she was with him. When she was with him, she just felt happy and settled. She shouldn’t be this settled with Harry already. They’d only been dating for a short time, but being with him felt as comfortable as the best years of her marriage. When he wasn’t around, that’s when the doubts and the fears crept in and messed with her head. It all went away when he would smile at her, when he held her, or kissed her. Maybe it was the years she’d known him as a friend that made her this comfortable. After all, there weren’t many secrets between them anymore. He still had a few and so did she, but here they were and it simply felt good.
Just because they hadn’t had sex yet though, didn’t mean the desire wasn’t there. After what happened in the shower, she was going to be fantasizing about his fingers for a very long time. She wanted him, so badly sometimes she thought she’d lose her mind. They were supposed to be taking ti slow, but none of this spoke to taking it slow. They were in bed together, after he had helped her get her head on straight and they were mostly naked. If someone walked in on them, and yes, she wondered what Bob was doing right now, they would make all sorts of assumptions. And that’s what Murphy realized was different about this, about their relationship. It wasn’t about the sex, they weren’t even having it. It was about the deeper intimacy, the emotions and why didn’t that scare her?
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
"Blackbird" - The Beatles
It was late Sunday afternoon and Murphy was in bed. What made it so unique was that she was Harry’s bed. It was startling how easy it was for her to just lay there with him, one arm of his holding her close to him even in sleep. He was out like a light, but she was too wound up to join him. Why was it so comfortable to be here? Not just physically comfortable, but emotionally too. She felt settled, like she hadn’t all day. She hadn’t been aware of just how much talking to Munzer had upset her until now with him. The simple peace of this moment made the weight of what she carried on her shoulders all day seem even heavier. Why had she let that criminal, that killer get to her like that? Thinking about Munzer made her uncomfortable and was ruining the moment for her. She had to let it go, especially when Harry was there with her.
She tucked her head under his chin, listening to him breathe and immersing herself in him. They were both still slightly damp from the shower, and he smelled like the simple soap he used. She would too, and there was something very intimate about that. They hadn’t even had sex yet, but the intimacy between them was remarkable to her. Sex brought intimacy for her normally, but with Harry she was learning that nothing was going to be normal. He wasn’t stable, he wasn’t safe, and he wasn’t normal, but she didn’t think about those things when she was with him. When she was with him, she just felt happy and settled. She shouldn’t be this settled with Harry already. They’d only been dating for a short time, but being with him felt as comfortable as the best years of her marriage. When he wasn’t around, that’s when the doubts and the fears crept in and messed with her head. It all went away when he would smile at her, when he held her, or kissed her. Maybe it was the years she’d known him as a friend that made her this comfortable. After all, there weren’t many secrets between them anymore. He still had a few and so did she, but here they were and it simply felt good.
Just because they hadn’t had sex yet though, didn’t mean the desire wasn’t there. After what happened in the shower, she was going to be fantasizing about his fingers for a very long time. She wanted him, so badly sometimes she thought she’d lose her mind. They were supposed to be taking ti slow, but none of this spoke to taking it slow. They were in bed together, after he had helped her get her head on straight and they were mostly naked. If someone walked in on them, and yes, she wondered what Bob was doing right now, they would make all sorts of assumptions. And that’s what Murphy realized was different about this, about their relationship. It wasn’t about the sex, they weren’t even having it. It was about the deeper intimacy, the emotions and why didn’t that scare her?