i am me...copied and pasted with love♥
and i love being me. im not a druggie because thats what my bfs into. im not obsessed with one aspect of life because its all i can cling to. i dont base my opinions on appearing to be one way all the time because im afraid to show vulnerability or anything that might make people think less of me in some way. i dont hide how im feeling under false smiles or pretenses because its easier than actually dealing with things. i dont live a life based on lies because its the quickest and surest way to seem content. i dont force my thoughts / opinions / impressions on others without taking in the possibility that they could not be how i see them. i dont just take things at face value without leaving room for depth. im done setting expectations on others because it only leads to disappointments or unachievable goals / standards.
this summer has changed me, but i was already changing before it. college made me chill and it helped me crash and burn. i reached my worse place. i saw the worse in me up until the end of that era. now i am me, or at least moreso the me that i want to be. i have goals that arent set in stone, but are placed on the path to doing whats best for me and those who truly care for my well being. im surrounded by people who look for the real me instead of casting a role for who i am and permenantly labeling me as "the sex freak" lol. i take care of myself now. i know what i need to do to be the happiest and healthiest i can be. im working on it. i understand that everything isnt just gonna reveal itself to me and that i do have to work for it and develop better ways to doing this crazy thing called life correctly. its a work a progress and im not going to be the one saying "oh you better fix your shit" to anyone because i know and understand that. life is a thing that just happens. its a burst on the scene. it cant be stopped, but it can be slowed down should you make the decision to do that. i did that. i was doing that for a while, but certain aspects of life need be done in moderation for a reason.
not everyone wants to make progress, but i do. i want to grow up. i want to keep growing up and not be caged in by fear of what growing up truly entails. i plan to embrace it. i want to let it happen as it should instead of inhabbitating it with mind altering substances perpetually. thats not me and i know that. im not going to be held back by anything or anyone and this summer has shown me and all who have known me that. im on a path and though the destination is a hazy far off place that even i cant make out that doesnt mean that the path isnt clear. anyone that becomes an obstacle between you and your path should be swept away, while those who stand by you and support you with their hearts and souls should remain. we shouldnt let anything stop us from acheiving our destinies. the only thing that truly can stop us is ourselves. everything has a choice, you just have to choose what you want to do. no one said all decisions were easy right? guess what not everything thats worth it is easy, deal with it! what else can you do? you can let it trap you and take over your life, or you can do whats best for you. we're young people, now is the time to be selfish! now is the time to deal with your issues and your actions and your choices because sooner or later they wont just be ours. theyll have tidal waves of effects on our families. and i dont mean the ones we were born into. eventually we wont have time to be selfish and take care of ourselves first, so get that shit out of your system now because its not something that you can put on the back burner. life will catch up with you, and its better to have a headstart than to be trailing behind it.
do you remember in grade school or middle school when you were learning how to write a comparision paper doing something like folding a paper and one column would be cause and the other effects? well thats life and theres your short description of it! deal with it, we all have to at some point or another. you know what else, every action does have and equal reaction. just think about that the next time you act and dont waste your days away pondering over whether or not a past action was deserving of its reaction because whether you think it was or wasnt doesnt change one crucial about of the equation, it happend. it came and past. its over and theres nothing that can be done about it, but there is always going to be the opportunity to attempt it from not happening again or not letting it come back to bite you in the ass that being to work past it and work on you. thats all anyone can do about the past. deal with the present, not the past, not the future, just the present. thats all we truly have guaranteed for us. everyone gets a past, but not everyone is promised a future, and we all have a present so live in that. thats the real concern for any and everyone.
im not my parents, im not my sisters, im not my friends, but i am me because thats the best that i can be. dont say you know me because you really dont. me doesnt even exist. i am just a shell of the person that i could be, could have been, would have been, will be, should be...i am just potential of me. the me that will be, WILL BE. i am me, but what really IS me isnt me at all...damn thats deep man lol laters...(i hate to end something already so serious on a serious note you know?)
mad <3
sidenote quotes
"i hope you understand this. even if i dont know you, even if i may never meet you, or hug you, or laugh with you, or talk to you, or kiss you, i love you."
"every inch of me is going to die here. every inch of me but one..."
"for a moment i could see everything that happend and everything that was going to happen...what are you saying? do you know whats going to happen?...no it was just a feeling. but i could guess. with all this chaos someones going to do something stupid. then the chancellor will do the only thing he knows how to do, then all v will have to do is stay true to his word."
"every action has an equal reaction...thats what you think? that its just an equation?...what they did to me was monstrous!...then they created a monster!"
"i fell in love with you. thats the best thing you could have given me."
v for vendeta...i cant believe its only recently that i got to see that movie. its so a movie that i could watch again and again and have. the scary part is the last time i saw the movie was like thursday or maybe friday and im not looking up these quotes and im pretty damn sure theyre pretty accurate lol.
this summer has changed me, but i was already changing before it. college made me chill and it helped me crash and burn. i reached my worse place. i saw the worse in me up until the end of that era. now i am me, or at least moreso the me that i want to be. i have goals that arent set in stone, but are placed on the path to doing whats best for me and those who truly care for my well being. im surrounded by people who look for the real me instead of casting a role for who i am and permenantly labeling me as "the sex freak" lol. i take care of myself now. i know what i need to do to be the happiest and healthiest i can be. im working on it. i understand that everything isnt just gonna reveal itself to me and that i do have to work for it and develop better ways to doing this crazy thing called life correctly. its a work a progress and im not going to be the one saying "oh you better fix your shit" to anyone because i know and understand that. life is a thing that just happens. its a burst on the scene. it cant be stopped, but it can be slowed down should you make the decision to do that. i did that. i was doing that for a while, but certain aspects of life need be done in moderation for a reason.
not everyone wants to make progress, but i do. i want to grow up. i want to keep growing up and not be caged in by fear of what growing up truly entails. i plan to embrace it. i want to let it happen as it should instead of inhabbitating it with mind altering substances perpetually. thats not me and i know that. im not going to be held back by anything or anyone and this summer has shown me and all who have known me that. im on a path and though the destination is a hazy far off place that even i cant make out that doesnt mean that the path isnt clear. anyone that becomes an obstacle between you and your path should be swept away, while those who stand by you and support you with their hearts and souls should remain. we shouldnt let anything stop us from acheiving our destinies. the only thing that truly can stop us is ourselves. everything has a choice, you just have to choose what you want to do. no one said all decisions were easy right? guess what not everything thats worth it is easy, deal with it! what else can you do? you can let it trap you and take over your life, or you can do whats best for you. we're young people, now is the time to be selfish! now is the time to deal with your issues and your actions and your choices because sooner or later they wont just be ours. theyll have tidal waves of effects on our families. and i dont mean the ones we were born into. eventually we wont have time to be selfish and take care of ourselves first, so get that shit out of your system now because its not something that you can put on the back burner. life will catch up with you, and its better to have a headstart than to be trailing behind it.
do you remember in grade school or middle school when you were learning how to write a comparision paper doing something like folding a paper and one column would be cause and the other effects? well thats life and theres your short description of it! deal with it, we all have to at some point or another. you know what else, every action does have and equal reaction. just think about that the next time you act and dont waste your days away pondering over whether or not a past action was deserving of its reaction because whether you think it was or wasnt doesnt change one crucial about of the equation, it happend. it came and past. its over and theres nothing that can be done about it, but there is always going to be the opportunity to attempt it from not happening again or not letting it come back to bite you in the ass that being to work past it and work on you. thats all anyone can do about the past. deal with the present, not the past, not the future, just the present. thats all we truly have guaranteed for us. everyone gets a past, but not everyone is promised a future, and we all have a present so live in that. thats the real concern for any and everyone.
im not my parents, im not my sisters, im not my friends, but i am me because thats the best that i can be. dont say you know me because you really dont. me doesnt even exist. i am just a shell of the person that i could be, could have been, would have been, will be, should be...i am just potential of me. the me that will be, WILL BE. i am me, but what really IS me isnt me at all...damn thats deep man lol laters...(i hate to end something already so serious on a serious note you know?)
mad <3
sidenote quotes
"i hope you understand this. even if i dont know you, even if i may never meet you, or hug you, or laugh with you, or talk to you, or kiss you, i love you."
"every inch of me is going to die here. every inch of me but one..."
"for a moment i could see everything that happend and everything that was going to happen...what are you saying? do you know whats going to happen?...no it was just a feeling. but i could guess. with all this chaos someones going to do something stupid. then the chancellor will do the only thing he knows how to do, then all v will have to do is stay true to his word."
"every action has an equal reaction...thats what you think? that its just an equation?...what they did to me was monstrous!...then they created a monster!"
"i fell in love with you. thats the best thing you could have given me."
v for vendeta...i cant believe its only recently that i got to see that movie. its so a movie that i could watch again and again and have. the scary part is the last time i saw the movie was like thursday or maybe friday and im not looking up these quotes and im pretty damn sure theyre pretty accurate lol.