Huitième
Ok... So I find it a perfect moment to make a little update of what's going on in my life. The pretty fucked up atmosphere in my home this afternoon has put me in a perfect mood to do it x3
Generally speaking, my existence has.... recently stopped to suck, I think xP I'm not really sure what caused this improvement. Maybe it's the fact that I changed my quite big flat with few flatmates to very small one with one flatmate - but WHAT a flatmate! ^^. Living together never was that .... refreshing, I think? Other thing is that I found a goal in my life - at last... Living just for the fact of living is not something enjoyable in the long run. Living with a goal, a dream, a faith.... sounds better. And works better. But for me to take the faith, to finally believe in this dream, a certain incident must have occured. And when it happened, I changed my way of thinking about possibilities and abilities. Maybe I'm not as strong as my friend whose lifeline is "Impossible is nothing", but... I believe. And I will be trying hard.
There is nothing to say about my studies and all the stuff... maybe they're not as fucked as on the first year - now, they happen to be interesting. And funny. And even nice and likeable. But still fucked, can't do anything about this x3
This year I spent the worst summer of my life. THE WORST, absolutely. Staying at home with no one to see with, to hang out with, only waiting for holidays to end so that I could get out of place I'm fed up with. Only the phone and the net were keeping me alive. Horrible and hopeless. Not letting this happen anymore.
I was never good at understanding or interpreting feelings and emotions (especially those of mine). I feel that in the past months far too many of extreme feelings passed through my mind and my heart. Now it's hard to settle down. I'm not really sure what I should and what I shouldn't do. Should I really care or not. Sholud I dive into this or... withdraw, as fast as possible. I don't know.
I thing that Sakurai was totally right in words of his song, which says that
"In things like loving and living we'll just hurt one another". Huh.
Ok, it's time to put an end to this bollony. xP I'm fine, full of hopes and planes for the future and I will not let anything or anyone to fuck this up! x3
Bless you and have a nice day, everyone. ;3
Generally speaking, my existence has.... recently stopped to suck, I think xP I'm not really sure what caused this improvement. Maybe it's the fact that I changed my quite big flat with few flatmates to very small one with one flatmate - but WHAT a flatmate! ^^. Living together never was that .... refreshing, I think? Other thing is that I found a goal in my life - at last... Living just for the fact of living is not something enjoyable in the long run. Living with a goal, a dream, a faith.... sounds better. And works better. But for me to take the faith, to finally believe in this dream, a certain incident must have occured. And when it happened, I changed my way of thinking about possibilities and abilities. Maybe I'm not as strong as my friend whose lifeline is "Impossible is nothing", but... I believe. And I will be trying hard.
There is nothing to say about my studies and all the stuff... maybe they're not as fucked as on the first year - now, they happen to be interesting. And funny. And even nice and likeable. But still fucked, can't do anything about this x3
This year I spent the worst summer of my life. THE WORST, absolutely. Staying at home with no one to see with, to hang out with, only waiting for holidays to end so that I could get out of place I'm fed up with. Only the phone and the net were keeping me alive. Horrible and hopeless. Not letting this happen anymore.
I was never good at understanding or interpreting feelings and emotions (especially those of mine). I feel that in the past months far too many of extreme feelings passed through my mind and my heart. Now it's hard to settle down. I'm not really sure what I should and what I shouldn't do. Should I really care or not. Sholud I dive into this or... withdraw, as fast as possible. I don't know.
I thing that Sakurai was totally right in words of his song, which says that
"In things like loving and living we'll just hurt one another". Huh.
Ok, it's time to put an end to this bollony. xP I'm fine, full of hopes and planes for the future and I will not let anything or anyone to fuck this up! x3
Bless you and have a nice day, everyone. ;3