It happens for a reason.
This week has been pretty odd. I really don't know where to start.
It's funny how things just end up happening, and it's horrible to feel like you're nothing. You try to make people happy, you try make things right and take things under control, when you realize you can't control a situation. Everything, no matter the circumstance -- it will always be out of your hands. You give, and give, and give, and you recieve nothing in return. Thing's happen for a reason, people happen for a reason. I have to learn how to take things like a grain of salt. I'm 10 levels above everyone. I'm 5 steps closer to getting the career I want, but 5 steps back in my personal life. It's just, funny, I s'pose. You better yourself, to make yourself feel so good, and no, people don't see it. I think guys will always go for the big-breasted, ditzy, oh so cute and entertaining girl.
I need another beer.
I need to read something. Perhaps Nietzsche can suture it.
I'm trying to be someone I'm not -- you try to go back to who you thought you were. When you really are, just another random boring girl that sits in the coffee shop sipping fucking latte's; forgetting where she came from.
I may come off as this emotional girl, when really I have the straightest face and mellow to the core. I'm just thinking and analyzing.
I look in the mirror and see this pretty girl, with the prettiest smile and wonderful personality. Unfortunately, it just doesn't quite seem that way in others perspective.
I remember being the reserved, pull it together, oh but keep everyone out. I blame Jason, I blame Adam. I'm blaming everyone else except for myself for letting the situation get out of hand. I blame Kevin for letting me, when really I blame myself for being the whore. I knew the outcome, I knew the future, but there was the one ounce, that maybe, just maybe the future will come out differently. Than I think again and maybe I just dug my own grave.
I have to deal with shit, I'm responsible for my own bull-shit.
Honestly, do I need these guys to pull me back? No, they're not doing anything with their lives. They sit at home and play World Of Warcraft. What was it that actually made me want it? Well, atleast Adam on the other hand is out prosecuting -- something that he's been wanting for a while now and had to set me aside to reach his ultimate goal. I envy him.
It happens for a reason.
I'm working way too fucking hard to carry someone along with me. I'm not working my ass off to support some lazy guy with "oh i just don't know what i want to do" Geez, I mean, really? What was I thinking?
I love being a book worm, because it gives me feel some self-worth. I love being by myself, because it makes me feel independent. I love sipping that coffee and having that tasty cig, because it makes me feel alive.
and above all of this.
I love that I love myself, because not many people can say that.
It's funny how things just end up happening, and it's horrible to feel like you're nothing. You try to make people happy, you try make things right and take things under control, when you realize you can't control a situation. Everything, no matter the circumstance -- it will always be out of your hands. You give, and give, and give, and you recieve nothing in return. Thing's happen for a reason, people happen for a reason. I have to learn how to take things like a grain of salt. I'm 10 levels above everyone. I'm 5 steps closer to getting the career I want, but 5 steps back in my personal life. It's just, funny, I s'pose. You better yourself, to make yourself feel so good, and no, people don't see it. I think guys will always go for the big-breasted, ditzy, oh so cute and entertaining girl.
I need another beer.
I need to read something. Perhaps Nietzsche can suture it.
I'm trying to be someone I'm not -- you try to go back to who you thought you were. When you really are, just another random boring girl that sits in the coffee shop sipping fucking latte's; forgetting where she came from.
I may come off as this emotional girl, when really I have the straightest face and mellow to the core. I'm just thinking and analyzing.
I look in the mirror and see this pretty girl, with the prettiest smile and wonderful personality. Unfortunately, it just doesn't quite seem that way in others perspective.
I remember being the reserved, pull it together, oh but keep everyone out. I blame Jason, I blame Adam. I'm blaming everyone else except for myself for letting the situation get out of hand. I blame Kevin for letting me, when really I blame myself for being the whore. I knew the outcome, I knew the future, but there was the one ounce, that maybe, just maybe the future will come out differently. Than I think again and maybe I just dug my own grave.
I have to deal with shit, I'm responsible for my own bull-shit.
Honestly, do I need these guys to pull me back? No, they're not doing anything with their lives. They sit at home and play World Of Warcraft. What was it that actually made me want it? Well, atleast Adam on the other hand is out prosecuting -- something that he's been wanting for a while now and had to set me aside to reach his ultimate goal. I envy him.
It happens for a reason.
I'm working way too fucking hard to carry someone along with me. I'm not working my ass off to support some lazy guy with "oh i just don't know what i want to do" Geez, I mean, really? What was I thinking?
I love being a book worm, because it gives me feel some self-worth. I love being by myself, because it makes me feel independent. I love sipping that coffee and having that tasty cig, because it makes me feel alive.
and above all of this.
I love that I love myself, because not many people can say that.