(no subject)
Muse: Tersa
Fandom: The Black Jewels series
Prompt: hurt
Rating: R/NC17
Word count:771
ooc: Fair warning that I'm adding my own take on Tersa's backstory here. AB never said much about her past. I'm going by what little was said about her in the first three books, in particular Heir To The Shadows. Future books may contradict this, but...*shrugs*
Have you met Tersa?" Saetan asked his son, Lucivar.
"I have."
"An extraordinarily gifted witch. Dorothea would never have become the force she is if Tersa had survived her Virgin Night. Tersa was my choice. And Tersa became pregnant."--Heir To Shadows
I remember.
Blue stone, not cold like my breath on the mirrors, but shining alive. Sapphire. The stone, the Jewel warm in my hand. I was--six, seven years old. The Sanctuary. My mother took me there. I went in alone but didn't come out quite that way.
The same color as her eyes. I was so little, but that I do remember. I lost bits and pieces after that.Mother taught me Healer's craft. One doesn't forget the basics. I learned. The books showed me some of what a Black Widow needed to know. Some of it I could only learn when stronger.
Draega wasn't good. I felt as if I couldn't stop holding my breath. Fear was so thick in the air at the courts, like smoke from a dying fire. Luthvian and I had met while being taught by an older Black Widow. She felt the fear, too. It wasn't something new to her.
We were introduced to Dorothea and her court when I was in my seventeenth year. I didn't wear the Jewel openly while I met with the Queen and her Consort.
The captain of Dorothea's Guard used to watch me. Luthvian thought I should try to know more about him. He was high in his Queen's regard, young, handsome and clever. I liked him, too, but I wasn't sure. As it turned out, it didn't much matter what I thought of him. He didn't care if I ...if I wanted. He liked hurting women. Oh, he might've been less powerful than me, yes, but Sapphire against a Red shield set by his Queen wasn't a fight I won.
We were alone in the guest room I'd been given. Luthvian was away at a lesson. The room was shielded. No one heard me scream, or cry.
The second time he forced me onto my back, he was tired of the noise. He gagged me, tied my hands. I couldn't. Tried to call in the Sapphire and I bled trying from that, too.
I hadn't lost everything. He thought that's what he'd done. Waited until he was coming inside me, again, my thighs sticky with blood, my neck, face, breasts bruised, eyes half-blind with tears and then caught him. Ripped through his mind, made him forget.
Everything. Tore through it all, with the last use of the Craft that was fading from me. Luthvian found me later that night. He was gone. I don't recall where he went. I guess I don't want to now. I was so cold and there was a hole ripped inside me like the whole world.
Broken. No healing for that.
She stayed with me, held me, promised she wouldn't let anyone hurt me again. I knew she would try, too. It's why, when we met Saetan, I asked him to see her through her first Night. She was too brave to be safe. She wouldn't yield, no more than I would, and when they knew she wouldn't, they'd break her or kill her.
People had left me alone after I broke. I was happier that way. Seeing them hold their Jewels was like salt pouring into the cuts on my flesh.
He was kind. Powerful, but quiet, not afflicted with greed. He didn't fit with Dorothea's people either. He had no need to flaunt what he was, is.
Black Widow. Hourglass' Priest. Like recognized like.
He came to me to ask if I would help give him a child. I had to think about it. I knew...With him or sometimes Andulvar present, I found it easier to stay in their words. I would only ever have one chance to have a baby. Saetan meant to take him or her at the Birthright Ceremony, raise the child. So I knew if I did this now, he or she should be safe.
I never really wanted to have a man touch me again. This, I did want. The little ones weren't afraid of me. I remembered how to sing, how to play. It wasn't like facing other Blood.
He was gentle, patient with my fears. I know I couldn't have pleased him. He said he'd show me, but that if I didn't want him to, he'd let me be once we knew for sure I'd conceived. None of the other males bothered me after that. They didn't want to tangle with a Warlord Prince, or the Black.
My greatest hurt, and my greatest joy.
Couldn't I have had one without the other?
What ifs are no good. I don't know. I don't want to know.
The past is a Realm we can't revisit.
Fandom: The Black Jewels series
Prompt: hurt
Rating: R/NC17
Word count:771
ooc: Fair warning that I'm adding my own take on Tersa's backstory here. AB never said much about her past. I'm going by what little was said about her in the first three books, in particular Heir To The Shadows. Future books may contradict this, but...*shrugs*
Have you met Tersa?" Saetan asked his son, Lucivar.
"I have."
"An extraordinarily gifted witch. Dorothea would never have become the force she is if Tersa had survived her Virgin Night. Tersa was my choice. And Tersa became pregnant."--Heir To Shadows
I remember.
Blue stone, not cold like my breath on the mirrors, but shining alive. Sapphire. The stone, the Jewel warm in my hand. I was--six, seven years old. The Sanctuary. My mother took me there. I went in alone but didn't come out quite that way.
The same color as her eyes. I was so little, but that I do remember. I lost bits and pieces after that.Mother taught me Healer's craft. One doesn't forget the basics. I learned. The books showed me some of what a Black Widow needed to know. Some of it I could only learn when stronger.
Draega wasn't good. I felt as if I couldn't stop holding my breath. Fear was so thick in the air at the courts, like smoke from a dying fire. Luthvian and I had met while being taught by an older Black Widow. She felt the fear, too. It wasn't something new to her.
We were introduced to Dorothea and her court when I was in my seventeenth year. I didn't wear the Jewel openly while I met with the Queen and her Consort.
The captain of Dorothea's Guard used to watch me. Luthvian thought I should try to know more about him. He was high in his Queen's regard, young, handsome and clever. I liked him, too, but I wasn't sure. As it turned out, it didn't much matter what I thought of him. He didn't care if I ...if I wanted. He liked hurting women. Oh, he might've been less powerful than me, yes, but Sapphire against a Red shield set by his Queen wasn't a fight I won.
We were alone in the guest room I'd been given. Luthvian was away at a lesson. The room was shielded. No one heard me scream, or cry.
The second time he forced me onto my back, he was tired of the noise. He gagged me, tied my hands. I couldn't. Tried to call in the Sapphire and I bled trying from that, too.
I hadn't lost everything. He thought that's what he'd done. Waited until he was coming inside me, again, my thighs sticky with blood, my neck, face, breasts bruised, eyes half-blind with tears and then caught him. Ripped through his mind, made him forget.
Everything. Tore through it all, with the last use of the Craft that was fading from me. Luthvian found me later that night. He was gone. I don't recall where he went. I guess I don't want to now. I was so cold and there was a hole ripped inside me like the whole world.
Broken. No healing for that.
She stayed with me, held me, promised she wouldn't let anyone hurt me again. I knew she would try, too. It's why, when we met Saetan, I asked him to see her through her first Night. She was too brave to be safe. She wouldn't yield, no more than I would, and when they knew she wouldn't, they'd break her or kill her.
People had left me alone after I broke. I was happier that way. Seeing them hold their Jewels was like salt pouring into the cuts on my flesh.
He was kind. Powerful, but quiet, not afflicted with greed. He didn't fit with Dorothea's people either. He had no need to flaunt what he was, is.
Black Widow. Hourglass' Priest. Like recognized like.
He came to me to ask if I would help give him a child. I had to think about it. I knew...With him or sometimes Andulvar present, I found it easier to stay in their words. I would only ever have one chance to have a baby. Saetan meant to take him or her at the Birthright Ceremony, raise the child. So I knew if I did this now, he or she should be safe.
I never really wanted to have a man touch me again. This, I did want. The little ones weren't afraid of me. I remembered how to sing, how to play. It wasn't like facing other Blood.
He was gentle, patient with my fears. I know I couldn't have pleased him. He said he'd show me, but that if I didn't want him to, he'd let me be once we knew for sure I'd conceived. None of the other males bothered me after that. They didn't want to tangle with a Warlord Prince, or the Black.
My greatest hurt, and my greatest joy.
Couldn't I have had one without the other?
What ifs are no good. I don't know. I don't want to know.
The past is a Realm we can't revisit.