Crisis officially averted!
My life has had an absolute turnover in the last relatively short amount of time. As far as boys are concerned, I have let those that I wasn't really interested in know that I wasn't and the rest I have decided to discontinue beginning conversations with. If they pursue me, I will re-examine my feelings toward them, otherwise I'm not going to go chasing. I had a beautiful weekend and was really reminded of what great friends I have and that I am of value to them as well. As far as academics are concerned, I had an amazing talk with my favorite professor here at Vassar. He encouraged me to sign up for the trip to Ireland (which I have now officially applied for) and also helped me focus what it is that I'm really interested in and realize that one bad class (no matter how really awful it is) should not dissuade me from doing what I really love to do. I've also gotten my writing back under control by inserting an ingenious twist into my story which has gotten me all sparked up again. While I can't really believe that I'm saying this, going to services weekly has really begun to enrich my life. I guess I had been neglecting my spiritual side for too long and I needed some time to reconnect. Not to mention the warm feeling of family and community that the Bayit promotes that helps me through the weeks. And besides. Things can always be worse. I'm beginning to look up again.