rool on school?!
today:
1 small portion of purple berry special k with a little bit of skimmed milk.
1 muller yoghurt.
1 glass of ribena.
2 cups of earl grey with skimmed milk.
overall today was ok, could have done better.
even though i was looking forward to the start of the holidays because it would mean i would eat less as i didn't feel pressured, i was actually wrong about that!
i have realised that i need routine or it just goes wrong.. i eat at different times, eat out with the family! overall it is so much worse! overall i lost like 11 lbs in 3 weeks and then the easter holidays came and i didn't actually lose any weight like i though infact i put on a lb! which to be honest is better than i thought as that time away meant i really ate.
this week has gone ok though i guess. however i am excited to get back to college and get back into my fasting routine etcc. i plan to lose 3lbs by this time next week and a stone (14lbs) by this time next month. i really need to do this.
today i was looking for photos of me when i was younger to show to my friend, and looking back at them i realised i have never actually been happy with my weight. my mum was telling me how i used to refuse to wear a summer dress when i was like 8 because i felt fat and that really got to me.
i have gone through life feeling uncomfortable and fat and out of place.
i don't want it to continue, i don't want to spend the rest of my life being self concious!
so today is focus! i need to get back into that routine and carry on as i have done, by losing weight!
i'm working tomorrow so that's like a work out itself! i hate work so much- the boss is horrible and finds any excuse to scream at me. the other girls i work with don't give me the time of day either.
i actually dread going to work half way through the week, however losing weight has gave me a lot more confidence and determination which is always good to deal with them! anyway if i can just get those seven hours out of the way tomorrow i have the night to look forward to!
me and fleck are going to town to bullet proof (an indie club) where we usually get wankered (very drunk) dance till our feet bleeed, well mine always do due to ridiculous shoes, and check out the boys!
haha they are amazing! i was actually just thinking the other day how much i love being single! this is the first time in ages i haven't had a b/f recently it had just been one shit lad after another but now it's great- i don't have to explain to anyone where i'm at or arrange my time around them.
like i said anyway i don't expect a man to love me until i can learn to love myself (in other words when i'm skinny).
so anyway, back to business! the target for next friday is to be three lbs down. i hope so much i am!
if i don't update before then i'll report back.
♥