(no subject)
today was actually horrid.
i got my english language coursework back and i only got a b+, which i know is good, but i need an A if i'm ever going to be a journalist.
without getting all heavy i really don't know where my life is going at the moment. i'm sick of waiting for everything good.
waiting for parties, waiting for summer, waiting for uni, waiting to be successful and most of all waiting to be THIN!
i'm so fucking fat and bloated today, i was just wondering if anyone knew about laxatives? i haven't been in a couple of days which will obviously hold my weight loss up, so i was just wondering if they do actually work before i go spending my hard earned cash? haha.
before i walked into my room and found my mum with her head under my bed (where my diary is) and then tottered around for a bit before asking me if i had some dinner. she was tidying my room so perhaps she was just putting stuff away and i'm probably being paranoid but that would really be the last thing i need!
i hope she didn't find my fucking ana quotes in my clothes drawer too..
i've made a descision to stay off school tomorrow. i don't know if it's the right one or not? because of the embarrasing incidents last week where my tummy was rumbling (see previous post!) i decided that i can't let it happen again so i NEED to eat before each lesson to stop it as it seems to be the only way. but dane's party is next saturday and i'm behind on my weight loss, so i plan to fast tomorrow, saturday and sunday- to kick it off again. which means i obviously can't go to school on an empty stomach.. i feel really guilty about it because my exams are nearing but i'm good at catching up, plus i can do some work at home tomorrow.
jesus christ i don't half ramble about shit! i do apologise ♥
i got my english language coursework back and i only got a b+, which i know is good, but i need an A if i'm ever going to be a journalist.
without getting all heavy i really don't know where my life is going at the moment. i'm sick of waiting for everything good.
waiting for parties, waiting for summer, waiting for uni, waiting to be successful and most of all waiting to be THIN!
i'm so fucking fat and bloated today, i was just wondering if anyone knew about laxatives? i haven't been in a couple of days which will obviously hold my weight loss up, so i was just wondering if they do actually work before i go spending my hard earned cash? haha.
before i walked into my room and found my mum with her head under my bed (where my diary is) and then tottered around for a bit before asking me if i had some dinner. she was tidying my room so perhaps she was just putting stuff away and i'm probably being paranoid but that would really be the last thing i need!
i hope she didn't find my fucking ana quotes in my clothes drawer too..
i've made a descision to stay off school tomorrow. i don't know if it's the right one or not? because of the embarrasing incidents last week where my tummy was rumbling (see previous post!) i decided that i can't let it happen again so i NEED to eat before each lesson to stop it as it seems to be the only way. but dane's party is next saturday and i'm behind on my weight loss, so i plan to fast tomorrow, saturday and sunday- to kick it off again. which means i obviously can't go to school on an empty stomach.. i feel really guilty about it because my exams are nearing but i'm good at catching up, plus i can do some work at home tomorrow.
jesus christ i don't half ramble about shit! i do apologise ♥