(no subject)
people have started to ask me when Darren and I are having kids. I always say, oh not any time soon. And then I tell them my coil is good for ten years, so why rush?
I know they don't believe me, they tend to give me advice about life with kids no matter how I phrase my response. It's OK.
People will always see someone who chooses not to have kids (even if they're just choosing to delay them for awhile) as a selfish asshole. But really, is there anything wrong with that? I had a pretty shitty childhood and never got to do a lot of the things other kids get. I always stayed in my room reading the same books and playing the same games because what else did I have? I maybe at one time wanted friends but a lifetime of solitude makes you the kind of person other people have difficulty understanding.
So, my life now is about having new experiences and giving myself all the things I missed out on. Vacations, the food I want, laying in bed extra hours on the weekend, being lazy if I don't feel like cleaning, buying myself presents if I feel like it. I don't need to justify anything to anyone, or curb my desires to teach someone else how to be responsible.
Every day I live here with Darren I just feel so free. I never was able to put into words the thing that made me feel so miserable no matter where I lived or what I did, but I understand now it was just me feeling trapped. But now, every pound we put into savings and every trip we take and every day I wake up in MY HOUSE (even though we rent), it is like I am being born again.
I never have to deal with my asshole family again, I never have to work like a slave just to pay the bills, I never have to live with some idiot I can barely stand and I NEVER have to listen to anyone tell me what to do ever again.
Having kids would destroy that feeling. I could probably still do all the things I wanted to do even if I had them, but I would FEEL like I was being forced into a situation. And I know I would become the miserable sack of shit I used to be, and I never want to be that person ever again.
I know they don't believe me, they tend to give me advice about life with kids no matter how I phrase my response. It's OK.
People will always see someone who chooses not to have kids (even if they're just choosing to delay them for awhile) as a selfish asshole. But really, is there anything wrong with that? I had a pretty shitty childhood and never got to do a lot of the things other kids get. I always stayed in my room reading the same books and playing the same games because what else did I have? I maybe at one time wanted friends but a lifetime of solitude makes you the kind of person other people have difficulty understanding.
So, my life now is about having new experiences and giving myself all the things I missed out on. Vacations, the food I want, laying in bed extra hours on the weekend, being lazy if I don't feel like cleaning, buying myself presents if I feel like it. I don't need to justify anything to anyone, or curb my desires to teach someone else how to be responsible.
Every day I live here with Darren I just feel so free. I never was able to put into words the thing that made me feel so miserable no matter where I lived or what I did, but I understand now it was just me feeling trapped. But now, every pound we put into savings and every trip we take and every day I wake up in MY HOUSE (even though we rent), it is like I am being born again.
I never have to deal with my asshole family again, I never have to work like a slave just to pay the bills, I never have to live with some idiot I can barely stand and I NEVER have to listen to anyone tell me what to do ever again.
Having kids would destroy that feeling. I could probably still do all the things I wanted to do even if I had them, but I would FEEL like I was being forced into a situation. And I know I would become the miserable sack of shit I used to be, and I never want to be that person ever again.