A twisted vision of love
I once met a pretentious asshole named Chris(t) who told me he wanted to save me. Once quick glance at me and he instantly knew i was on the wrong life path, so he thought it his duty to put me back on the right path. He said i was headed staight to hell if i didn't change my ways. I was taken aback by such bold statements, especially the one when he claimed to "know" me, and what i was about... I tried to speak,to engage in a dialogue but to no avail, it was a one way conversation in which the other party(me) merely nods and says "yes, of course", a bit like Plato's texts- except that Plato is much more interesting than this guy was... And i didn't agree with the words that came out of his mouth.
Any word i tried to squeeze between his went into one ear only to.... well, i dont even think they reached his ears actually. His new found beliefs had formed a thick shell around his soul- or what remained of it- thus isolating him from the world I lived in.
He told me he had the answers.
He told me he had been saved (from what i still don't know) yet in his eyes i saw nothing. They seemed empty, devoid of life. I felt him very unsincere and artificial.
I felt he had put all of his eggs into one big basket and he had a hard time carrying it.
I thought to myself " If there is no God i won't be shocked, in fact i will be relieved but him... Him.
He will be utterly crushed. I didn't feel like telling him that, he did not leave me the chance to anyway, plus he would have never ever taken me seriously. He was on a mission and i was the prey. He had found answers and i had not, he was superior to me. He thought he knew better. "No, there is no point in arguing with someone who knows he is right, with someone who thinks less of you because you dont see what he sees." i thought.
So after a few minutes i started walking back home. I could no more listen to his barrage of verbal delusions. As i walked he kept on talking, in a desperate effort to save me before it's too late. "Dont waste your time on me, if you're going to heaven, then i must go to hell!" i said over my shoulder.
I got home and felt drained.
I thought "If this guy has the right to insult my life choices, if he thinks looking down on people with differing opinions is his god-given right then i think it is my right to call him a pretentious asshole."
That night i thought of Chris and other people like him, and i thought, "his ideal world is not that far off from Hitler's world vision. A world of perfect order where everyone adheres to the one and only valid ideology be it National socialism or Christianity.
This happened years ago when i lived in Ottawa and now i look south of the border and my nightmare has come true.
Any word i tried to squeeze between his went into one ear only to.... well, i dont even think they reached his ears actually. His new found beliefs had formed a thick shell around his soul- or what remained of it- thus isolating him from the world I lived in.
He told me he had the answers.
He told me he had been saved (from what i still don't know) yet in his eyes i saw nothing. They seemed empty, devoid of life. I felt him very unsincere and artificial.
I felt he had put all of his eggs into one big basket and he had a hard time carrying it.
I thought to myself " If there is no God i won't be shocked, in fact i will be relieved but him... Him.
He will be utterly crushed. I didn't feel like telling him that, he did not leave me the chance to anyway, plus he would have never ever taken me seriously. He was on a mission and i was the prey. He had found answers and i had not, he was superior to me. He thought he knew better. "No, there is no point in arguing with someone who knows he is right, with someone who thinks less of you because you dont see what he sees." i thought.
So after a few minutes i started walking back home. I could no more listen to his barrage of verbal delusions. As i walked he kept on talking, in a desperate effort to save me before it's too late. "Dont waste your time on me, if you're going to heaven, then i must go to hell!" i said over my shoulder.
I got home and felt drained.
I thought "If this guy has the right to insult my life choices, if he thinks looking down on people with differing opinions is his god-given right then i think it is my right to call him a pretentious asshole."
That night i thought of Chris and other people like him, and i thought, "his ideal world is not that far off from Hitler's world vision. A world of perfect order where everyone adheres to the one and only valid ideology be it National socialism or Christianity.
This happened years ago when i lived in Ottawa and now i look south of the border and my nightmare has come true.