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I've been feeling really weird the past few days. Sometimes I can feel my insides take the fetal position and crawl so far into themselves they turn inside out. I feel disconnected from everything, and I'm not sad, really, just...distant. I'm laughing and smiling and happy, but in the same breath I can say that there is something wrong that I can't quite put my finger on. I want to call it fear, but I can't be sure. In any case, I don't know why it's there or where it came from. So I just keep laughing, keeping it all at bay, but I can feel it pressing on my ribs. Uncomfortable pressure. I wait and beg for some time to just spend alone, and when I get it I become extraordinarily lonely.
I'm hoping it's just the season.
I'm hoping it's just the season.