Something i can relate to...
This was something I found in my friend Brie's LJ that i can relate to quite well:
One of the many concepts of a promise is that it is meant to never be broken...when one makes a promise to another, surely they must know one day it will be broken...
One cannot help what the future may bring...so really a promise is complete bullshit...a security blanket to make one feel better...which is only a limited amount of time...
when i read it i was like OMG i know exactly what she means and thought about how i found that out for myself. But yea, Thomas really likes me and i'm not ready for another relationship, i mean i tried and thats all that counts right? I can't do it... i just can't, Gonzo is still all i think about and he is always on my mind and no matter what i do i'm thinking of him because something always reminds me of him. And i don't know what to do. He tells me he misses me, and that he still loves me, and how he wishes he could be with me, nothing is fucking stopping him, i'm sure as hell not. He said he feels like an asshole cuz he can't stand 30 little miles. Well i dunno... i've lost something like 20-25 pounds since we've broken up... and that really isn't good considering i'm trying to push anorexia out of my life, something always comes in to bring Ana with it. I dunno, i called him on the phone crying cuz i felt so helpless and i needed someone to talk to, so i called him cuz he always told me to even after we broke up that he was there for me and everything...he was busy and said he'd call back... he hasn't yet. I hate it when he does this to me... i needed to talk to someone last night, and i told him that hes like "i'll call you back in 10 min." cuz i heard his mom ask for the phone. but i dunno.... whatever.... maybe Ana will kill me, somedays i wish she does...
Later days kiddies,
~Shane aka Maris
One of the many concepts of a promise is that it is meant to never be broken...when one makes a promise to another, surely they must know one day it will be broken...
One cannot help what the future may bring...so really a promise is complete bullshit...a security blanket to make one feel better...which is only a limited amount of time...
when i read it i was like OMG i know exactly what she means and thought about how i found that out for myself. But yea, Thomas really likes me and i'm not ready for another relationship, i mean i tried and thats all that counts right? I can't do it... i just can't, Gonzo is still all i think about and he is always on my mind and no matter what i do i'm thinking of him because something always reminds me of him. And i don't know what to do. He tells me he misses me, and that he still loves me, and how he wishes he could be with me, nothing is fucking stopping him, i'm sure as hell not. He said he feels like an asshole cuz he can't stand 30 little miles. Well i dunno... i've lost something like 20-25 pounds since we've broken up... and that really isn't good considering i'm trying to push anorexia out of my life, something always comes in to bring Ana with it. I dunno, i called him on the phone crying cuz i felt so helpless and i needed someone to talk to, so i called him cuz he always told me to even after we broke up that he was there for me and everything...he was busy and said he'd call back... he hasn't yet. I hate it when he does this to me... i needed to talk to someone last night, and i told him that hes like "i'll call you back in 10 min." cuz i heard his mom ask for the phone. but i dunno.... whatever.... maybe Ana will kill me, somedays i wish she does...
Later days kiddies,
~Shane aka Maris