Taking Stock!

[lexyloowho]

Okay, so this is a post about things.

Last week was made of fail, overall. These are the things that failed:

• First, I was contacted for an internship that, while cool, I DID NOT APPLY FOR. They asked me for paperwork, told me to be free between 5/18 and 7/1, but then... failed to tell me where or when I should show up to anywhere on... tomorrow? Um. Maybe?
• THEN my roommate decided that we should all go see STAR TREK at the IMAX at the Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum, which is an amazing idea! And then he said that I should buy the tickets! Which was fine! And then more people wanted to come than number of tickets I had purchased? And so then I purchased more for a different time? But then I called to see whether or not I had to be present at both show times, the answer was WHAT THOSE PURCHASES WERE FOR YESTERDAY? So I just paid $70 to be able to NOT see Star Trek...? And then have to tell my friends that we can't go? GAAAAAAH. I AM MADE ENTIRELY OF FAIL.
• ...Just to put that in perspective-- I could buy a low-quality guitar for that. I want to do that. I want to sing folk songs and serenade people! I do not want to NOT SEE STAR TREK. For almost $100.
• Hello ceiling. You appear to be leaking. INTO THE LIGHT FIXTURE? Are you TRYING to kill us all in a fire? Because as entertaining as that would be... I would not be pleased. But the way this week has been going, I would be unsurprised. You know, overall.
• Apparently the real reason that Neanderthals no longer exist... is that we ate them all. GodDAMMIT. First the president I helped elect decides that "transparency" wasn't exactly what we meant when we said, you know, transparency, and then I learn that my entire species pretty much devoured our cousins. Clearly we are all doomed.
• To review, I make no money.
• I should stop buying coffee until money is made.
• I like coffee.
• My library books, which are normally free, are apparently not free if I am an idiot and keep them for an extra week. I mean, still cheaper than buying all those books, but I want to not pay for them at all, see?
• I returned the aforementioned library books. So now I have no reading material.

OKAY. This week is over. We'll say that this is preemptive karma for the AMAZING week that I am about to have. That's what I'm saying. It better be true. Do you hear me, universe? I AM DUE FOR AN AMAZING WEEK WHERE I GET A JOB AND IT RAINS ICE CREAM FROM THE SKY. Or else, I will go all Homo Sapien on your ass, by which I mean EAT MY CLOSEST GENETIC RELATIVE.

Or Plan B, which is to find a silly hat and sit on a street corner singing songs to myself and anybody else who might come by. If this happens, I'll let you know which corner I'll be sitting on.

PS-- My great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a slave trader, too.