another year ending
It's always good to reflect at the end of the year and look back at everything with perspective. Losing my heritage was a burning point to say the least but at least this time I didn't lose any loved ones. i'm not sure i'll be able to rebuild soon but, time will tell I guess. There has been a lot of up and downs but isn't that always the case
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I just been through very intense stuff this year, like...rediscovering myself? I'm not even done doing that yet. When I get too sad I avoid this place because I would be too tempted to pour my heart out and I don't have the strenght to help anyone else who would be sad too. When I'm feeling happy, I feel guilty that I am, guilty that things are going so well if that makes any sense and I don't want to brag about it. It's a weird feeling. Also afraid if I do, it will be swept away by some invisible hand. I know...very silly, I guess there are some stuff i'll never outgrow.
Some times I feel like a leaf in the wind being taken in all directions back and forth, sometimes I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of a windstorm and everything around me is spinning so fast, making me feel both like it's out of my hand. But, it's no longer an uneasy feeling, am going with the flow, where ever it takes me.
Relaxing Christmas and food huh? Might adopt that too ;) Actually asked the boys if there was anyone of their friends that were alone that night and we've invited them over. It's no time to be alone unless you really want it.
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