Stargate Fanfic: Unplanned Parenthood - Chapter One
Title: Unplanned Parenthood
Author: LexKitten
Chapter: One - Paternity Test
Previous Chapters: Prologue
Summary: “Carter, do you ever get the feeling these alternate universes are trying to tell us something?”
Rating: Teen
A/N: This is the super angsty chapter - sorry! I promise things won’t stay sad for too long! But things have to get worse, before they get better, right?
Big big thanks to my lovely editors, windsparrow , tardisinthesgc , and lilferret ! This chapter was a big OOC mess before you guys helped me out.
Songs To Listen To: I tend to write/compose/read fics to particular songs that suit the pairing/theme. I don’t know if anyone else does, but in case you do, I wrote this chapter to “Where Does the Good Go” by Tegan and Sara. It’s nice and angsty, and I always think of Jack/Sam when I hear the main line “Look me in the eye and tell me, you don’t find me attractive.” ^.^
***
It had only taken seconds to turn Jack’s head completely inside out. Moments before, he had been irritated and resigned, on a pointless baby sitting mission to fix up yet another headache from some distant world. Then that damn Lieutenant Dean had flung open those doors and everything went sideways. Now, barely seconds later, he stood immobile, uncertain, and transfixed, staring at the crying child fighting inside the quarantine tent to get to him.
“Mommy!” She screamed again. Her puffy red eyes darted away from Carter and locked on Jack. “Dada! Help me.” She was speaking directly to him. There was no doubting it.
“Sir!” Jack snapped his head around to look at Carter. Her eyes were wild and frantic, like the child before them. She was looking at him for instructions - but Jack had none to give.
“Sir, do you-” Dean began, but he was cut short.
Another frantic plea of “Mom-my” burst from the child - and Carter snapped. She lunged for the entrance seal of the containment tent.
“Carter, no!” Jack yelled. But it was too late. She tore the plastic seal apart - exposing the entire room to whatever contagions were in there- and rushed inside. The medical staff faltered in alarm, long enough for the girl to break free and hurl herself across the bed into Carter’s arms.
“Momma,” she sobbed, “They were hu-hu-hurting me.”
Carter pulled the little girl to her chest, enclosing her tiny head in her hands, and whispered, “Shh, hey it’s ok now.” She looked at Jack, her eyes wide, as if she was as frightened as he was by what she had done.
Jack was still frozen in place, unable to move. A war raged in his mind, between the irrational part of his brain - urging him to run after Carter and protect the child with his life- and the last feeble cries of thirty years of military training - telling him this was a hostile situation. He had to think. He had to assess the situation. He dug down to the deeply ingrained basic protocols drilled into him in the Air Force Academy and clung to them like a mast in a raging storm. There was an intruder. Possibly hostile, possibly carrying a weapon - possibly a weapon herself. She had to be neutralised.
It seemed like an age had passed, though it had only taken Jack seconds to regain his senses. Lieutenant Dean was still stammering in confusion.
Jack sprang forward entering the breached containment tent. “Fraiser - sedate her,” he barked.
The doctor jumped quickly to attention, grabbing a syringe of clear liquid. “Get her arm, Sam.”
Sam looked uncertainly at Jack. “Sedate her” he said again, “that’s an order, Major.” She nodded, turning the child so her shoulder faced the doctor. Jack thrust his arms around the girl’s waist, holding her still.
“Daddy!” the girl cried in alarm.
“It’s ok,” Jack said impulsively. He looked down into her eyes and she beamed back, entirely trustingly. “We won’t hurt you,” he said, willing her to believe him. Miraculously, she listened, and suddenly stopped struggling.
Immediately, Doc Fraiser was at her arm, forcing the clear sedative into her bloodstream. She went down almost instantly. Jack and Sam caught her weight between them as her tiny body went limp. Sam didn’t move. She just stared in shock, her mouth round like a cheerio.
“She’s ok,” Jack said - reassuring himself as much as he was Carter. “We had to get her down, or she was gonna hurt herself.”
“I know,” Carter said breathlessly. She blinked quickly, as if clearing her head and coming back to senses. “We should get her on the bed,” she suggested. Together, they lay the lifeless form carefully on the waiting mattress. Carter stood to attention. “Sir, the quarantine. I’m sorry-”
“It’s fine, Major,” he cut her off. “That’s exactly the reaction they planned. Trust the Goa’uld to use a kid.”
“The Goa’uld, Sir?” Carter asked.
“Of course,” Jack replied. “Who else? They gave her that Zatarc brainwashing, sent her in here to think that she-” he faltered. “They sent her to get to us and infect us with something or other.”
“Actually, Sir,” Dr Fraiser interrupted, “I have been able to get a blood sample and so far the tests have come back normal. I don’t think she’s carrying any kind of biological weapon. Of course, I can’t test for any Zatarc programming…”
“They had some reason to send her to us,” Jack said firmly. “A nacquada bomb, like Cassandra, or something worse.”
Carter bit her lip. She had regained her military composure, but Jack could see she was still shaken up. “Sir, with all due respect… why would the Goa’uld use the quantum mirror? They would have to be the Goa‘uld of an alternate reality. Why expend resources on this universe?”
“How should I know?” asked Jack. “Carter, they’re the bad guys. They will take any opportunity they can to try and destroy us.” Jack looked her in the eyes, his gaze fierce. He knew what she was thinking, and if he could, he would order her not to think it. He couldn’t entertain that possibility.
“Sir,” this time when she spoke, her voice was softer. She wasn’t speaking as his subordinate any more. “She recognised us.”
She looked over at the unconscious child, and Jack’s eyes were irresistibly forced to follow. He looked from the crease of her little pink mouth, to the curve of her cheeks, to her soft pointed nose and somewhere deep down he knew Carter was right - they were looking at their daughter.
But then, she wasn’t really theirs. Military regulations had put that fate decidedly off-limits. Duty always came before personal feelings. And, for the most part, Jack had learnt to accept that he would only ever be Carter’s CO - it was better than being nothing at all to her.
And now, here was this girl- with her shiny blond hair and her big blue eyes - looking like an exact miniature of Carter, reminding Jack that if this universe was just a little damn different he could have married the woman he loved. But Jack didn’t live in those other universes - he was stuck with this one. “Ours is the only reality of consequence.” Teal’c had been right about that. And in this reality, that little blond girl would never - could never -exist. So, Jack pushed the inevitable conclusion to the depths of his subconscious and grasped frantically for any other explanation.
Jack looked away. “C’mon, it’s brain-washing, Carter,” he said, trying to sound like he believed that himself.
“She called me…” Carter trailed off quietly.
“I know what she said, Major,” Jack said, equally as soft. His hand twitched, but he resisted the urge to reach out and touch her. He couldn’t let himself lose control - not now.
“Paternity test,” he said suddenly, snapping his head around to Doc Fraiser. She looked up in surprise. Carter looked shocked too. “We need a paternity test.”
“Sir?” Fraiser furrowed her brow in confusion.
“Doc, you heard what she was saying. She thought Carter and I were her parents,” Jack continued. “If it’s Zatarc programming we’re gonna need to call the Tok’ra. But we can confirm right away that what she says isn’t true.”
“Yes Sir,” Fraiser agreed. “I already have her blood work. I can compare her sample to my records for you and Sam. But it will take a while.”
“It always does,” Jack quipped. “Fine. You run the tests. Carter and I will head back to base, if you’re sure there’s no quarantine risk.” Jack nodded to Carter, who stood to attention. No matter what she was thinking, Carter knew how to be an officer when she needed to be.
“You’re clear for quarantine, but,” Dr Fraiser faltered. She pursed her lips, as if trying to compose herself. “But, Sir, I’m going to need written consent from you both.”
“What?” Jack asked. “Consent for a quarantine clearance?”
“No, Sir,” said Dr Fraiser. “For the test. By law, I can only administer a parental test with consent. Even under military jurisdiction. It’s a matter of confidentiality.”
Jack looked away from the doctor in embarrassment, but unfortunately he ended up eye to eye with Carter. She was bright red. “Right,” he said, turning quickly back to the doctor. “Get the forms.”
***
“Shal’tuk, O’Neill,” Teal’c boomed genially, as Jack entered the briefing room.
“What?” asked Jack.
“Shal’tuk,” Teal’c repeated. “All honour to you on this happy occasion.”
“Yes!” Daniel agreed enthusiastically. “Congratulations. Mazal Tov.”
“What are you two rambling about?” asked Jack in bewilderment.
Teal’c titled his head to the side, giving Jack a blank stare. “O’Neill, are we not celebrating the arrival of your child?”
“What?” Jack choked.
“On Chulak, there would be many days of feasting for the arrival of a girl - and twice that for a boy. Is this celebration not customary among the Tauri?”
“No! I mean, well sorta. But - look that’s not the point. She’s not my kid.” Jack spluttered. Teal’c raised an eyebrow.
Daniel tried to keep a straight face as he attempted an answer. “Unfortunately Teal’c, in many western countries where familial ties are no longer so strong, it is possible for men to abandon their partners and children, to avoid commitment or responsibility.” Jack’s mouth fell open in horror. Words - angry, swearing words- failed him.
“I have seen such men shamed on television by a man named Jerry Springer,” Teal’c replied solemnly. “These men are not honourable. O’Neill would not do such a thing.”
“Stow it!” Jack said. “Both of you.” He glared at his two friends - Teal’c was stone-faced, but Daniel was snickering. They’d planned this humiliation. “This isn’t funny.”
“It is a little funny,” said Daniel.
“Alright people,” General Hammond barked as he entered the briefing room, “settle down. I want a situation report.” He paused, looking at the empty seat on his right. “Where’s Major Carter?”
“Infirmary,” Jack said stiffly. “The kid woke up and wanted its mom.” There was an awkward silence.
“Alright then,” Hammond said, “We’ll go on without her. What do we know about the child?”
“Well, she’s human,” said Daniel. He shuffled through the papers in front of him, passing a small handful to the General. “These are Doctor Fraiser’s initial reports. Blood-work is normal, no sign of infection, disease or any other foreign bodies for that matter; so, no nacquada bomb. Estimated age is four, give or take ten months. Brain functions all appear normal. She’s had chicken pox some time in the last year. Otherwise, clean bill of health.”
“What about brain-washing?” asked Jack.
“Doctor Fraiser didn’t find anything unusual,” answered Daniel. “We’ve contacted the Tok’ra, but they haven’t responded yet. It might be a while.”
“Teal’c, is this the kind of thing the Goa’uld are capable of?” asked General Hammond.
“The Goa’uld would not hesitate to use a child as a weapon,” Teal’c replied. “But I do not believe they possess any knowledge of the mirror, nor of the possibility of alternate universes.”
“Right,” said Hammond. “And do we know of any other enemies that might have such knowledge and capability?” He was greeted with silence. Daniel shrugged.
“Sir, even so,” Jack protested, “I think we should proceed with caution.”
“I agree, Colonel,” said General Hammond. “We’ll keep her under observation until I am confident she poses no threat to us. What about the letter she had?”
Jack sighed, pulling the letter out of his breast pocket and sliding it across the desk to General Hammond. The General read it quickly, before passing it to Daniel.
“This is Sam’s handwriting,” said Daniel.
“Close to it,” Jack grudgingly agreed. “Could be a forgery.”
“It seems to confirm her story,” said General Hammond. “Colonel, is it possible that this really is the child of yourself and Major Carter from another dimension?”
“No!” Jack exclaimed.
“Yes,” said Daniel.
“Daniel!” Jack snapped. “Sir, there’s gotta be some other reasonable explanation.”
Teal’c frowned. “O’Neill, surely our previous experiences with the mirror have proved that such variations are possible?”
“It’s against regulations!” cried Jack.
“Obviously not where she comes from,” said Daniel. “Look, she’s not the child of the Jack and Sam we know from this universe. But it’s entirely possible that in some other universe an alternate Jack and Sam…” he trailed off awkwardly, receiving embarrassed expressions of everyone else in the room.
“For the time being, let’s assume that’s the case,” General Hammond said, giving Jack a warning look. “Can we determine which universe she originated from - and send her back?”
“Unlikely,” answered Daniel. “There are literally an infinite amount of other universes. It would be almost impossible to identify hers. And even if we could … I’m not sure we should send her back. Look at this letter: ‘Our universe is under attack,’ ‘please protect her.’ General - this is a plea for asylum.”
Daniel’s words send a cold chill up Jack’s spine. He felt the same sudden urge he had felt at area 51 - to protect that girl with his life, no matter what. He pushed it away quickly, burying it under layers of military protocol.
“I’ll speak to the President about it,” General Hammond offered. “What about her health? Won’t she experience the same sickness the alternate Dr Carter did?”
“Entropic Cascade Failure,” Daniel said. Jack raised his eyebrows. Since when did Daniel know scientific jargon? “I have Sam’s report here,” Daniel explained. “What Dr Carter experienced was increased entropy, because she and Sam were, essentially, made of the same matter. However, this child has never existed in our universe.” He shot another awkward glance at Jack, as if to check that that was the case. Jack rolled his eyes in reply.
“I’ll run it past Major Carter, to ensure the child is in no danger.” General Hammond put his hands down on the table decisively. “Alright, Teal’c, Daniel, you’re dismissed. Colonel, may I have a word?”
Jack swung backward and forward on his chair, as Daniel and Teal’c filed out past him. General Hammond followed them to the door and shut it behind them. Once they were gone, he took a seat again across the table from Jack, fixing him with the full force of his commanding glare. “Colonel, I can understand this might be a difficult situation for you,” he said. “But I need you prepared for any eventuality.”
Jack stared at the clock on the wall, just to the left of the General’s head, and hoped it looked like he was making eye contact. “I’m fine, Sir. Not like this is the first time something kooky has happened here.”
The General nodded, his mouth in a tight-lipped frown. He tried awkwardly to catch Jack’s eye, tilting his head slightly to intercept Jack’s line of sight. He looked strangely uncomfortable - his round face turning slightly red. Something about his expression reminded Jack irresistibly of a nervous father, preparing to give his son ’The Talk’. “I know that you and Major Carter have a very close working relationship,” The General began bravely, clearly choosing his words carefully. “So if this situation creates any undue pressure…”
Pressure like -yet again- looking at living proof that he and Carter were meant to be together? Like being called “daddy”, after spending ten years coming to terms with the fact that he would never be called that again? Yeah, there was going to be some “undue pressure” there.
But Jack didn’t need to say that to the General. George knew his officers well enough to have guessed what was going through Jack’s head. What he wanted to know was if this was going to compromise their work.
“Not a problem, Sir,” Jack lied. “We can handle it.”
“Good,” said the General, relaxing slightly. “Let me know if that ceases to be the case. You’re dismissed.”
Jack saluted his CO, thankful once again that military men didn’t discuss their feelings. It was better for them both if Jack could lie, and the General could pretend to believe him.
***
The infirmary was strangely empty when Sam arrived. Doctor Fraiser was down the hall in the lab, finishing some tests, and only one nurse was left on duty. There wasn’t a single member of the SGC being treated at all - there had been surprisingly few disastrous missions lately. There was only one bed being used. Barely being used at that, the girl was so small. She was lying in the last bed facing the wall, enveloped in an oversized hospital gown. Sam walked nervously towards her.
“Go away,” the girl said, hearing Sam’s heavy footfalls. “I want my mom.” She shivered, huddling closer to the pillow in her arms.
“Hey,” Sam said, hurrying over, “are you cold?” The girl turned over, and Sam could see her eyes were still red from crying.
“Mommy?” she asked.
Sam didn’t know what to say to that - so she pretended she hadn’t heard. “You know, we have blankets.” She grabbed the crumpled infirmary sheet from the end of the bed. Before she had it halfway up, the girl pounced, and threw her arms around Sam’s waist.
“I thought you were gone,” she sobbed. “Everything was dark, and then it was all red and so loud. I thought you - I thought you sent me here to die.”
“Hey, hey no,” Sam whispered. “I would never do that. You’re ok. You‘re safe now.” The words came out more instinctively than consciously, but Sam felt somehow right saying them. She softly rubbed her palm across the girl’s shoulders in what she hoped was a comforting way. Great racking sobs shook the girl all over, but they were getting slower and her breathing evening out. After a minute, she grew still, and Sam wondered if perhaps she’d fallen asleep. Gently, she started to ease the girl back onto the bed. Ten tiny fingers dug into Sam’s waist and refused to budge. “Ok ok, I won’t put you down.”
“You know, I’m very mad at you,” the child said, her voice muffled by Sam’s jacket.
“Mad at me?” Sam asked. “Why?”
“You made me go away,” she replied. “Through the scary mirror and the other side was full of shouting and these big baddies grabbed me. And then you let those people in the plastic clothes stick poison in me so I’d fall asleep. And then Auntie Janey tried to feed me yucky food which you know I don’t like.”
“Auntie Janey?” asked Sam.
“I think that means me,” Janet said, walking in from behind them. “She recognised me as soon as she woke up. Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, of course,” Sam responded. She took a step back but the girl kept a tight hold of her waist, dragging herself half out of bed. Sam stepped back hurriedly. “Err, actually maybe not. I think I’m a prisoner.”
Janet smiled at them both. “Honey, can I see Major Carter for a minute?”
“Mommy,” the girl corrected. “And no.”
Sam looked pleadingly at Janet. “I don’t know what to do,” she said.
“You’re new at this,” Janet said sympathetically. She bent down so she was looking into the child’s eyes. “Honey, I need to talk to mommy for a minute. Just a minute, and then we’ll be back. You can count the seconds for me.”
They waited while the girl considered. “Well, alright,” she loosened her grip, enough for Sam to slip out. “But I’m going to count out loud, and I’ll tell you when time’s up. One - two-”
Janet quickly led Sam away to a safe distance. “She probably can’t count past twenty. She’s only about four.” Sam nodded distractedly, her eyes still on the child. “Sam, the tests are back.”
That got her attention. Heart in her throat, Sam asked breathlessly, “Well? Is she…?”
“Her genetic pattern is a perfect match,” Janet said. “You’re definitely her mother.”
Little black stars exploded behind Sam’s eyes. Suddenly dizzy, she grabbed onto the wall for support. “And Jack?” She asked. Janet nodded. So it was true - she really was their daughter. Sam tried to get her head around the concept. She’d always planned on having kids, sure. But sometime far, far in the future. Now she had an instant four-year-old. And with Jack? Of course, the thought had crossed her mind, but she never seriously thought… and how was he going to react when he found out? She turned to look at the girl again, still counting loudly in her hospital bed; completely unaware of the panic her mere existence was causing. “I don’t even know her name,” Sam worried.
“Neither do I,” said Janet. “Sam, I don’t think she understands that she’s in an alternate universe. Because she recognises us, she believes we’re the same people who have known her all her life. And honestly, I think it‘s better for her mental state if we play along. She‘s probably extremely fragile. ”
“How are we supposed to find out then?” asked Sam.
Janet pursed her lips in thought. “I think I have an idea.” She beckoned Sam back towards the girl’s bed.
“Fifty-two, -fifty-three, -fifty-four…” she counted loudly. She stopped when Sam was back within her reach and grabbed on to her jacket with one hand. “Six seconds left, Auntie Janey. You‘re lucky this time.”
“That’s very good counting,” Janet said, her tone genuinely impressed. “Thank you for being such a good girl. Tell me, what does mommy say when you’re a good girl?”
She thought about it for a moment, exaggeratedly pursing her lips. “She says. ‘What a good girl,’ and gives me a present.”
Janet nodded sagely. “What about if you’re naughty?” She asked, giving the girl a conspiratorial grin. “What does mommy say then?”
The child frowned, deeply furrowing her brow and wagging her finger in an impression of an angry parent. “’Henrietta Katie O’Neill! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’re sorry!’”
“Henrietta,” Sam breathed, a rush of maternal feeling bubbling in her stomach. Henrietta O’Neill. Sam tested it out in her head. Well, there certainly was a ring to it.
***
Jack was relieved to find Doc. Fraiser waiting in the infirmary for him. Riding the elevator down, he had run though the possible scenes in his mind, dreading hearing the news from Carter. It would be too much to have to face her now.
“Congratulations, Colonel,” Fraiser said, a smirk playing on her lips. “You’re the father.”
Jack winced, but resolved to keep calm in front of the doctor. “Great,” he said. “Just what every middle-aged swinging bachelor hopes to hear.”
The doctor smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Well, she’s in the last bed, if you want to see her.” Jack looked over to the far side of the infirmary, instantly spying two blond heads bent together. Damn it. Carter was here too. He thought about turning around now without speaking to her, but two things stopped him: his sense of honour, and more importantly, Doc Frasier’s reproachful glare.
“Right, thanks Doc,” he said. He looked over at the last bed. Now that she was awake - and not screaming - the kid looked even more like Carter. Like a little clone; the powers that be had perfectly reproduced the exact blue of Sam’s eyes, her adorably pink cheeks, and her highly expressive mouth. In a strange way, Jack could see himself in her too - in the way she held her head; the way her eyes moved; in how often she frowned. There was even something about her that reminded him of Charlie. Jack looked quickly away, trying to burry those memories again.
“Carter,” Jack called. She spun around quickly at the sound of his voice. “Can I talk to you - outside?” He tilted his head towards the door, indicating for her to follow him.
“Yessir,” she said at once. Then, turning back to the bed she whispered, “Be a very good girl again ok, and wait here for me.”
“Huh, fine,” a little voiced sighed dramatically in reply.
Jack led the way out into the - thankfully - empty corridor and Carter followed. He jammed his hands in his pockets and looked over her head, unwilling to meet her eyes. “So,” he said.
“Tests are back,” Carter said quickly. “They confirmed her story. Genetically, she’s a perfect match, Sir. For the both of us.”
“I know,” Jack sighed. He pulled a hand from his pocket and ran it through his hair. “I mean, I know, Doc Fraiser just told me, but… I knew. ” He shifted his gaze down, meeting Carter’s eyes for a split second before refocusing on the floor. “She’s just-”
“So much like you,” they said in unison. Carter smiled nervously. Jack groaned. This conversation was even more painfully embarrassing than he’d feared.
“Carter,” Jack took a sharp breath in, using all his confidence to look her in the eyes. She beamed back at him, both hopeful and fearful, and it took all of his strength to tell her what he had come to say. “I can’t do this,” he said. “I know what Doc Fraiser’s tests say, but that’s not my kid in there. I didn’t ask for this. Not now. Not with-” he faltered awkwardly, wondering how much to admit. “It’s just…too weird for me,” he concluded lamely.
“Oh.“ Sam’s face fell. “Yeah, of course,” she hurried on quickly. “I mean, I know it’s kind of strange. I’m not really sure what I think myself. You don’t have to - I mean - I can handle it, Sir.”
He could hear the hurt in her voice. Jack could have socked himself one for making her feel that way. He wondered if he should just leave now, before he did her anymore damage. But the heavy pounding in his heart wouldn’t let him walk away yet. He sighed - he would torture himself a little more then. “What’s her name?” he asked.
“Henrietta,” she answered quietly.
“Henrietta?” Jack asked, wrinkling his nose in disapproval. “After my crazy cat-lady Aunt Henrietta?”
Carter laughed, hitting Jack with the unbearably adorable grin she saved for when he said something stupid. “Actually, I think it’s after Henrietta Swan Leavitt - the astrophysicist,” she said.
“Oh,” Jack said dumbly. “Did she discover gravity?”
“That was Newton, Sir,” Carter replied, rewarding Jack with another smile. “Leavitt used the relative brightness of stars to calculate the distance between them, and their proximity to Earth. She was one of the only female scientists of her time. And, in a way, without her work, the Stargate program wouldn’t be possible. ”
He could tell from her tone that this Leavitt was one of Carter’s heroes. Of course, she’d want to name their kid after some brilliant scientist. Probably had the name picked out for years. “Huh, so you think I just let you name our kid after some egg-head?” Jack asked.
“What would you have called her then?” She asked indignantly.
Jack thought about it for a moment. “Katie,” he said. “After the most loyal German Shepherd I ever knew.”
He thought he’d get a horrified gasp or at lest a playful glare out of Carter for that one, but instead her mouth popped open in utter shock. “That’s her middle name, Sir,” she said breathlessly.
“Of course it is,” Jack groaned. These damn alternate universe coincidences just weren’t going to let up. “Carter, do you ever think these alternate universes are trying to tell us something?”
“Sir?” she asked, in her best ‘innocently unaware’ voice.
He searched her eyes for any sign that she knew what he meant - that she still felt the same way. But the brilliant blue pools had become dull blank slates. Carter had completely shut him out.
“Nothin‘,” Jack sighed eventually. “Good luck with her, Major.” He gave her a half salute, and forced himself to turn away.
***
Continued in Chapter Three: Unthinking and Overthinking
Author: LexKitten
Chapter: One - Paternity Test
Previous Chapters: Prologue
Summary: “Carter, do you ever get the feeling these alternate universes are trying to tell us something?”
Rating: Teen
A/N: This is the super angsty chapter - sorry! I promise things won’t stay sad for too long! But things have to get worse, before they get better, right?
Big big thanks to my lovely editors, windsparrow , tardisinthesgc , and lilferret ! This chapter was a big OOC mess before you guys helped me out.
Songs To Listen To: I tend to write/compose/read fics to particular songs that suit the pairing/theme. I don’t know if anyone else does, but in case you do, I wrote this chapter to “Where Does the Good Go” by Tegan and Sara. It’s nice and angsty, and I always think of Jack/Sam when I hear the main line “Look me in the eye and tell me, you don’t find me attractive.” ^.^
***
It had only taken seconds to turn Jack’s head completely inside out. Moments before, he had been irritated and resigned, on a pointless baby sitting mission to fix up yet another headache from some distant world. Then that damn Lieutenant Dean had flung open those doors and everything went sideways. Now, barely seconds later, he stood immobile, uncertain, and transfixed, staring at the crying child fighting inside the quarantine tent to get to him.
“Mommy!” She screamed again. Her puffy red eyes darted away from Carter and locked on Jack. “Dada! Help me.” She was speaking directly to him. There was no doubting it.
“Sir!” Jack snapped his head around to look at Carter. Her eyes were wild and frantic, like the child before them. She was looking at him for instructions - but Jack had none to give.
“Sir, do you-” Dean began, but he was cut short.
Another frantic plea of “Mom-my” burst from the child - and Carter snapped. She lunged for the entrance seal of the containment tent.
“Carter, no!” Jack yelled. But it was too late. She tore the plastic seal apart - exposing the entire room to whatever contagions were in there- and rushed inside. The medical staff faltered in alarm, long enough for the girl to break free and hurl herself across the bed into Carter’s arms.
“Momma,” she sobbed, “They were hu-hu-hurting me.”
Carter pulled the little girl to her chest, enclosing her tiny head in her hands, and whispered, “Shh, hey it’s ok now.” She looked at Jack, her eyes wide, as if she was as frightened as he was by what she had done.
Jack was still frozen in place, unable to move. A war raged in his mind, between the irrational part of his brain - urging him to run after Carter and protect the child with his life- and the last feeble cries of thirty years of military training - telling him this was a hostile situation. He had to think. He had to assess the situation. He dug down to the deeply ingrained basic protocols drilled into him in the Air Force Academy and clung to them like a mast in a raging storm. There was an intruder. Possibly hostile, possibly carrying a weapon - possibly a weapon herself. She had to be neutralised.
It seemed like an age had passed, though it had only taken Jack seconds to regain his senses. Lieutenant Dean was still stammering in confusion.
Jack sprang forward entering the breached containment tent. “Fraiser - sedate her,” he barked.
The doctor jumped quickly to attention, grabbing a syringe of clear liquid. “Get her arm, Sam.”
Sam looked uncertainly at Jack. “Sedate her” he said again, “that’s an order, Major.” She nodded, turning the child so her shoulder faced the doctor. Jack thrust his arms around the girl’s waist, holding her still.
“Daddy!” the girl cried in alarm.
“It’s ok,” Jack said impulsively. He looked down into her eyes and she beamed back, entirely trustingly. “We won’t hurt you,” he said, willing her to believe him. Miraculously, she listened, and suddenly stopped struggling.
Immediately, Doc Fraiser was at her arm, forcing the clear sedative into her bloodstream. She went down almost instantly. Jack and Sam caught her weight between them as her tiny body went limp. Sam didn’t move. She just stared in shock, her mouth round like a cheerio.
“She’s ok,” Jack said - reassuring himself as much as he was Carter. “We had to get her down, or she was gonna hurt herself.”
“I know,” Carter said breathlessly. She blinked quickly, as if clearing her head and coming back to senses. “We should get her on the bed,” she suggested. Together, they lay the lifeless form carefully on the waiting mattress. Carter stood to attention. “Sir, the quarantine. I’m sorry-”
“It’s fine, Major,” he cut her off. “That’s exactly the reaction they planned. Trust the Goa’uld to use a kid.”
“The Goa’uld, Sir?” Carter asked.
“Of course,” Jack replied. “Who else? They gave her that Zatarc brainwashing, sent her in here to think that she-” he faltered. “They sent her to get to us and infect us with something or other.”
“Actually, Sir,” Dr Fraiser interrupted, “I have been able to get a blood sample and so far the tests have come back normal. I don’t think she’s carrying any kind of biological weapon. Of course, I can’t test for any Zatarc programming…”
“They had some reason to send her to us,” Jack said firmly. “A nacquada bomb, like Cassandra, or something worse.”
Carter bit her lip. She had regained her military composure, but Jack could see she was still shaken up. “Sir, with all due respect… why would the Goa’uld use the quantum mirror? They would have to be the Goa‘uld of an alternate reality. Why expend resources on this universe?”
“How should I know?” asked Jack. “Carter, they’re the bad guys. They will take any opportunity they can to try and destroy us.” Jack looked her in the eyes, his gaze fierce. He knew what she was thinking, and if he could, he would order her not to think it. He couldn’t entertain that possibility.
“Sir,” this time when she spoke, her voice was softer. She wasn’t speaking as his subordinate any more. “She recognised us.”
She looked over at the unconscious child, and Jack’s eyes were irresistibly forced to follow. He looked from the crease of her little pink mouth, to the curve of her cheeks, to her soft pointed nose and somewhere deep down he knew Carter was right - they were looking at their daughter.
But then, she wasn’t really theirs. Military regulations had put that fate decidedly off-limits. Duty always came before personal feelings. And, for the most part, Jack had learnt to accept that he would only ever be Carter’s CO - it was better than being nothing at all to her.
And now, here was this girl- with her shiny blond hair and her big blue eyes - looking like an exact miniature of Carter, reminding Jack that if this universe was just a little damn different he could have married the woman he loved. But Jack didn’t live in those other universes - he was stuck with this one. “Ours is the only reality of consequence.” Teal’c had been right about that. And in this reality, that little blond girl would never - could never -exist. So, Jack pushed the inevitable conclusion to the depths of his subconscious and grasped frantically for any other explanation.
Jack looked away. “C’mon, it’s brain-washing, Carter,” he said, trying to sound like he believed that himself.
“She called me…” Carter trailed off quietly.
“I know what she said, Major,” Jack said, equally as soft. His hand twitched, but he resisted the urge to reach out and touch her. He couldn’t let himself lose control - not now.
“Paternity test,” he said suddenly, snapping his head around to Doc Fraiser. She looked up in surprise. Carter looked shocked too. “We need a paternity test.”
“Sir?” Fraiser furrowed her brow in confusion.
“Doc, you heard what she was saying. She thought Carter and I were her parents,” Jack continued. “If it’s Zatarc programming we’re gonna need to call the Tok’ra. But we can confirm right away that what she says isn’t true.”
“Yes Sir,” Fraiser agreed. “I already have her blood work. I can compare her sample to my records for you and Sam. But it will take a while.”
“It always does,” Jack quipped. “Fine. You run the tests. Carter and I will head back to base, if you’re sure there’s no quarantine risk.” Jack nodded to Carter, who stood to attention. No matter what she was thinking, Carter knew how to be an officer when she needed to be.
“You’re clear for quarantine, but,” Dr Fraiser faltered. She pursed her lips, as if trying to compose herself. “But, Sir, I’m going to need written consent from you both.”
“What?” Jack asked. “Consent for a quarantine clearance?”
“No, Sir,” said Dr Fraiser. “For the test. By law, I can only administer a parental test with consent. Even under military jurisdiction. It’s a matter of confidentiality.”
Jack looked away from the doctor in embarrassment, but unfortunately he ended up eye to eye with Carter. She was bright red. “Right,” he said, turning quickly back to the doctor. “Get the forms.”
***
“Shal’tuk, O’Neill,” Teal’c boomed genially, as Jack entered the briefing room.
“What?” asked Jack.
“Shal’tuk,” Teal’c repeated. “All honour to you on this happy occasion.”
“Yes!” Daniel agreed enthusiastically. “Congratulations. Mazal Tov.”
“What are you two rambling about?” asked Jack in bewilderment.
Teal’c titled his head to the side, giving Jack a blank stare. “O’Neill, are we not celebrating the arrival of your child?”
“What?” Jack choked.
“On Chulak, there would be many days of feasting for the arrival of a girl - and twice that for a boy. Is this celebration not customary among the Tauri?”
“No! I mean, well sorta. But - look that’s not the point. She’s not my kid.” Jack spluttered. Teal’c raised an eyebrow.
Daniel tried to keep a straight face as he attempted an answer. “Unfortunately Teal’c, in many western countries where familial ties are no longer so strong, it is possible for men to abandon their partners and children, to avoid commitment or responsibility.” Jack’s mouth fell open in horror. Words - angry, swearing words- failed him.
“I have seen such men shamed on television by a man named Jerry Springer,” Teal’c replied solemnly. “These men are not honourable. O’Neill would not do such a thing.”
“Stow it!” Jack said. “Both of you.” He glared at his two friends - Teal’c was stone-faced, but Daniel was snickering. They’d planned this humiliation. “This isn’t funny.”
“It is a little funny,” said Daniel.
“Alright people,” General Hammond barked as he entered the briefing room, “settle down. I want a situation report.” He paused, looking at the empty seat on his right. “Where’s Major Carter?”
“Infirmary,” Jack said stiffly. “The kid woke up and wanted its mom.” There was an awkward silence.
“Alright then,” Hammond said, “We’ll go on without her. What do we know about the child?”
“Well, she’s human,” said Daniel. He shuffled through the papers in front of him, passing a small handful to the General. “These are Doctor Fraiser’s initial reports. Blood-work is normal, no sign of infection, disease or any other foreign bodies for that matter; so, no nacquada bomb. Estimated age is four, give or take ten months. Brain functions all appear normal. She’s had chicken pox some time in the last year. Otherwise, clean bill of health.”
“What about brain-washing?” asked Jack.
“Doctor Fraiser didn’t find anything unusual,” answered Daniel. “We’ve contacted the Tok’ra, but they haven’t responded yet. It might be a while.”
“Teal’c, is this the kind of thing the Goa’uld are capable of?” asked General Hammond.
“The Goa’uld would not hesitate to use a child as a weapon,” Teal’c replied. “But I do not believe they possess any knowledge of the mirror, nor of the possibility of alternate universes.”
“Right,” said Hammond. “And do we know of any other enemies that might have such knowledge and capability?” He was greeted with silence. Daniel shrugged.
“Sir, even so,” Jack protested, “I think we should proceed with caution.”
“I agree, Colonel,” said General Hammond. “We’ll keep her under observation until I am confident she poses no threat to us. What about the letter she had?”
Jack sighed, pulling the letter out of his breast pocket and sliding it across the desk to General Hammond. The General read it quickly, before passing it to Daniel.
“This is Sam’s handwriting,” said Daniel.
“Close to it,” Jack grudgingly agreed. “Could be a forgery.”
“It seems to confirm her story,” said General Hammond. “Colonel, is it possible that this really is the child of yourself and Major Carter from another dimension?”
“No!” Jack exclaimed.
“Yes,” said Daniel.
“Daniel!” Jack snapped. “Sir, there’s gotta be some other reasonable explanation.”
Teal’c frowned. “O’Neill, surely our previous experiences with the mirror have proved that such variations are possible?”
“It’s against regulations!” cried Jack.
“Obviously not where she comes from,” said Daniel. “Look, she’s not the child of the Jack and Sam we know from this universe. But it’s entirely possible that in some other universe an alternate Jack and Sam…” he trailed off awkwardly, receiving embarrassed expressions of everyone else in the room.
“For the time being, let’s assume that’s the case,” General Hammond said, giving Jack a warning look. “Can we determine which universe she originated from - and send her back?”
“Unlikely,” answered Daniel. “There are literally an infinite amount of other universes. It would be almost impossible to identify hers. And even if we could … I’m not sure we should send her back. Look at this letter: ‘Our universe is under attack,’ ‘please protect her.’ General - this is a plea for asylum.”
Daniel’s words send a cold chill up Jack’s spine. He felt the same sudden urge he had felt at area 51 - to protect that girl with his life, no matter what. He pushed it away quickly, burying it under layers of military protocol.
“I’ll speak to the President about it,” General Hammond offered. “What about her health? Won’t she experience the same sickness the alternate Dr Carter did?”
“Entropic Cascade Failure,” Daniel said. Jack raised his eyebrows. Since when did Daniel know scientific jargon? “I have Sam’s report here,” Daniel explained. “What Dr Carter experienced was increased entropy, because she and Sam were, essentially, made of the same matter. However, this child has never existed in our universe.” He shot another awkward glance at Jack, as if to check that that was the case. Jack rolled his eyes in reply.
“I’ll run it past Major Carter, to ensure the child is in no danger.” General Hammond put his hands down on the table decisively. “Alright, Teal’c, Daniel, you’re dismissed. Colonel, may I have a word?”
Jack swung backward and forward on his chair, as Daniel and Teal’c filed out past him. General Hammond followed them to the door and shut it behind them. Once they were gone, he took a seat again across the table from Jack, fixing him with the full force of his commanding glare. “Colonel, I can understand this might be a difficult situation for you,” he said. “But I need you prepared for any eventuality.”
Jack stared at the clock on the wall, just to the left of the General’s head, and hoped it looked like he was making eye contact. “I’m fine, Sir. Not like this is the first time something kooky has happened here.”
The General nodded, his mouth in a tight-lipped frown. He tried awkwardly to catch Jack’s eye, tilting his head slightly to intercept Jack’s line of sight. He looked strangely uncomfortable - his round face turning slightly red. Something about his expression reminded Jack irresistibly of a nervous father, preparing to give his son ’The Talk’. “I know that you and Major Carter have a very close working relationship,” The General began bravely, clearly choosing his words carefully. “So if this situation creates any undue pressure…”
Pressure like -yet again- looking at living proof that he and Carter were meant to be together? Like being called “daddy”, after spending ten years coming to terms with the fact that he would never be called that again? Yeah, there was going to be some “undue pressure” there.
But Jack didn’t need to say that to the General. George knew his officers well enough to have guessed what was going through Jack’s head. What he wanted to know was if this was going to compromise their work.
“Not a problem, Sir,” Jack lied. “We can handle it.”
“Good,” said the General, relaxing slightly. “Let me know if that ceases to be the case. You’re dismissed.”
Jack saluted his CO, thankful once again that military men didn’t discuss their feelings. It was better for them both if Jack could lie, and the General could pretend to believe him.
***
The infirmary was strangely empty when Sam arrived. Doctor Fraiser was down the hall in the lab, finishing some tests, and only one nurse was left on duty. There wasn’t a single member of the SGC being treated at all - there had been surprisingly few disastrous missions lately. There was only one bed being used. Barely being used at that, the girl was so small. She was lying in the last bed facing the wall, enveloped in an oversized hospital gown. Sam walked nervously towards her.
“Go away,” the girl said, hearing Sam’s heavy footfalls. “I want my mom.” She shivered, huddling closer to the pillow in her arms.
“Hey,” Sam said, hurrying over, “are you cold?” The girl turned over, and Sam could see her eyes were still red from crying.
“Mommy?” she asked.
Sam didn’t know what to say to that - so she pretended she hadn’t heard. “You know, we have blankets.” She grabbed the crumpled infirmary sheet from the end of the bed. Before she had it halfway up, the girl pounced, and threw her arms around Sam’s waist.
“I thought you were gone,” she sobbed. “Everything was dark, and then it was all red and so loud. I thought you - I thought you sent me here to die.”
“Hey, hey no,” Sam whispered. “I would never do that. You’re ok. You‘re safe now.” The words came out more instinctively than consciously, but Sam felt somehow right saying them. She softly rubbed her palm across the girl’s shoulders in what she hoped was a comforting way. Great racking sobs shook the girl all over, but they were getting slower and her breathing evening out. After a minute, she grew still, and Sam wondered if perhaps she’d fallen asleep. Gently, she started to ease the girl back onto the bed. Ten tiny fingers dug into Sam’s waist and refused to budge. “Ok ok, I won’t put you down.”
“You know, I’m very mad at you,” the child said, her voice muffled by Sam’s jacket.
“Mad at me?” Sam asked. “Why?”
“You made me go away,” she replied. “Through the scary mirror and the other side was full of shouting and these big baddies grabbed me. And then you let those people in the plastic clothes stick poison in me so I’d fall asleep. And then Auntie Janey tried to feed me yucky food which you know I don’t like.”
“Auntie Janey?” asked Sam.
“I think that means me,” Janet said, walking in from behind them. “She recognised me as soon as she woke up. Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, of course,” Sam responded. She took a step back but the girl kept a tight hold of her waist, dragging herself half out of bed. Sam stepped back hurriedly. “Err, actually maybe not. I think I’m a prisoner.”
Janet smiled at them both. “Honey, can I see Major Carter for a minute?”
“Mommy,” the girl corrected. “And no.”
Sam looked pleadingly at Janet. “I don’t know what to do,” she said.
“You’re new at this,” Janet said sympathetically. She bent down so she was looking into the child’s eyes. “Honey, I need to talk to mommy for a minute. Just a minute, and then we’ll be back. You can count the seconds for me.”
They waited while the girl considered. “Well, alright,” she loosened her grip, enough for Sam to slip out. “But I’m going to count out loud, and I’ll tell you when time’s up. One - two-”
Janet quickly led Sam away to a safe distance. “She probably can’t count past twenty. She’s only about four.” Sam nodded distractedly, her eyes still on the child. “Sam, the tests are back.”
That got her attention. Heart in her throat, Sam asked breathlessly, “Well? Is she…?”
“Her genetic pattern is a perfect match,” Janet said. “You’re definitely her mother.”
Little black stars exploded behind Sam’s eyes. Suddenly dizzy, she grabbed onto the wall for support. “And Jack?” She asked. Janet nodded. So it was true - she really was their daughter. Sam tried to get her head around the concept. She’d always planned on having kids, sure. But sometime far, far in the future. Now she had an instant four-year-old. And with Jack? Of course, the thought had crossed her mind, but she never seriously thought… and how was he going to react when he found out? She turned to look at the girl again, still counting loudly in her hospital bed; completely unaware of the panic her mere existence was causing. “I don’t even know her name,” Sam worried.
“Neither do I,” said Janet. “Sam, I don’t think she understands that she’s in an alternate universe. Because she recognises us, she believes we’re the same people who have known her all her life. And honestly, I think it‘s better for her mental state if we play along. She‘s probably extremely fragile. ”
“How are we supposed to find out then?” asked Sam.
Janet pursed her lips in thought. “I think I have an idea.” She beckoned Sam back towards the girl’s bed.
“Fifty-two, -fifty-three, -fifty-four…” she counted loudly. She stopped when Sam was back within her reach and grabbed on to her jacket with one hand. “Six seconds left, Auntie Janey. You‘re lucky this time.”
“That’s very good counting,” Janet said, her tone genuinely impressed. “Thank you for being such a good girl. Tell me, what does mommy say when you’re a good girl?”
She thought about it for a moment, exaggeratedly pursing her lips. “She says. ‘What a good girl,’ and gives me a present.”
Janet nodded sagely. “What about if you’re naughty?” She asked, giving the girl a conspiratorial grin. “What does mommy say then?”
The child frowned, deeply furrowing her brow and wagging her finger in an impression of an angry parent. “’Henrietta Katie O’Neill! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’re sorry!’”
“Henrietta,” Sam breathed, a rush of maternal feeling bubbling in her stomach. Henrietta O’Neill. Sam tested it out in her head. Well, there certainly was a ring to it.
***
Jack was relieved to find Doc. Fraiser waiting in the infirmary for him. Riding the elevator down, he had run though the possible scenes in his mind, dreading hearing the news from Carter. It would be too much to have to face her now.
“Congratulations, Colonel,” Fraiser said, a smirk playing on her lips. “You’re the father.”
Jack winced, but resolved to keep calm in front of the doctor. “Great,” he said. “Just what every middle-aged swinging bachelor hopes to hear.”
The doctor smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Well, she’s in the last bed, if you want to see her.” Jack looked over to the far side of the infirmary, instantly spying two blond heads bent together. Damn it. Carter was here too. He thought about turning around now without speaking to her, but two things stopped him: his sense of honour, and more importantly, Doc Frasier’s reproachful glare.
“Right, thanks Doc,” he said. He looked over at the last bed. Now that she was awake - and not screaming - the kid looked even more like Carter. Like a little clone; the powers that be had perfectly reproduced the exact blue of Sam’s eyes, her adorably pink cheeks, and her highly expressive mouth. In a strange way, Jack could see himself in her too - in the way she held her head; the way her eyes moved; in how often she frowned. There was even something about her that reminded him of Charlie. Jack looked quickly away, trying to burry those memories again.
“Carter,” Jack called. She spun around quickly at the sound of his voice. “Can I talk to you - outside?” He tilted his head towards the door, indicating for her to follow him.
“Yessir,” she said at once. Then, turning back to the bed she whispered, “Be a very good girl again ok, and wait here for me.”
“Huh, fine,” a little voiced sighed dramatically in reply.
Jack led the way out into the - thankfully - empty corridor and Carter followed. He jammed his hands in his pockets and looked over her head, unwilling to meet her eyes. “So,” he said.
“Tests are back,” Carter said quickly. “They confirmed her story. Genetically, she’s a perfect match, Sir. For the both of us.”
“I know,” Jack sighed. He pulled a hand from his pocket and ran it through his hair. “I mean, I know, Doc Fraiser just told me, but… I knew. ” He shifted his gaze down, meeting Carter’s eyes for a split second before refocusing on the floor. “She’s just-”
“So much like you,” they said in unison. Carter smiled nervously. Jack groaned. This conversation was even more painfully embarrassing than he’d feared.
“Carter,” Jack took a sharp breath in, using all his confidence to look her in the eyes. She beamed back at him, both hopeful and fearful, and it took all of his strength to tell her what he had come to say. “I can’t do this,” he said. “I know what Doc Fraiser’s tests say, but that’s not my kid in there. I didn’t ask for this. Not now. Not with-” he faltered awkwardly, wondering how much to admit. “It’s just…too weird for me,” he concluded lamely.
“Oh.“ Sam’s face fell. “Yeah, of course,” she hurried on quickly. “I mean, I know it’s kind of strange. I’m not really sure what I think myself. You don’t have to - I mean - I can handle it, Sir.”
He could hear the hurt in her voice. Jack could have socked himself one for making her feel that way. He wondered if he should just leave now, before he did her anymore damage. But the heavy pounding in his heart wouldn’t let him walk away yet. He sighed - he would torture himself a little more then. “What’s her name?” he asked.
“Henrietta,” she answered quietly.
“Henrietta?” Jack asked, wrinkling his nose in disapproval. “After my crazy cat-lady Aunt Henrietta?”
Carter laughed, hitting Jack with the unbearably adorable grin she saved for when he said something stupid. “Actually, I think it’s after Henrietta Swan Leavitt - the astrophysicist,” she said.
“Oh,” Jack said dumbly. “Did she discover gravity?”
“That was Newton, Sir,” Carter replied, rewarding Jack with another smile. “Leavitt used the relative brightness of stars to calculate the distance between them, and their proximity to Earth. She was one of the only female scientists of her time. And, in a way, without her work, the Stargate program wouldn’t be possible. ”
He could tell from her tone that this Leavitt was one of Carter’s heroes. Of course, she’d want to name their kid after some brilliant scientist. Probably had the name picked out for years. “Huh, so you think I just let you name our kid after some egg-head?” Jack asked.
“What would you have called her then?” She asked indignantly.
Jack thought about it for a moment. “Katie,” he said. “After the most loyal German Shepherd I ever knew.”
He thought he’d get a horrified gasp or at lest a playful glare out of Carter for that one, but instead her mouth popped open in utter shock. “That’s her middle name, Sir,” she said breathlessly.
“Of course it is,” Jack groaned. These damn alternate universe coincidences just weren’t going to let up. “Carter, do you ever think these alternate universes are trying to tell us something?”
“Sir?” she asked, in her best ‘innocently unaware’ voice.
He searched her eyes for any sign that she knew what he meant - that she still felt the same way. But the brilliant blue pools had become dull blank slates. Carter had completely shut him out.
“Nothin‘,” Jack sighed eventually. “Good luck with her, Major.” He gave her a half salute, and forced himself to turn away.
***
Continued in Chapter Three: Unthinking and Overthinking