Conflict of Interests...
My horoscope on my facebook page is telling me to do something, but I'm not really sure if it's a good idea. It says "Someone really has no clue how you feel about them, so get it out of the way and fill them in." As much as I want to do that, I'm not so sure it's a good idea. No doubt it's most likely talking about Niku Sempai (because my feelings for him are the only feelings I can think of right now, really ), but no matter how severely smitten I am with him, me telling him so is just going to make the fact that I work under him more awkward. And if he should return some kind of sentiment (God willing! ) that might make it even worse! I'm sure the blow would be softened quite a bit by the fact that we are actually the same age. (Although I had a weird dream last night that we were in Tokyo (or quite possibly New York) on a field trip and he was, like, 28... )
Although I am beginning to think that it's not such a bad idea to tell him now. There's this relatively new sales rep working there now and she's really cute and adorable! We'll name her Emi kun. She's got long, black, curly hair and she usually wears a rose clip, Billie Holiday style. Fierce! She's a theater person, so she's inherently outgoing and flirtatious. Kinda makes me nervous when she's around the hot guy I've got my sights set on, honestly. But really, I'm not exactly sure I even have anything to worry about. Emi kun may not be interested in him at all. She's probably more into Toni chan than she is Niku sempai. But I just can't help but be a tad jealous. Two outgoing people always seem to get along better than one outgoing person and one borderline recluse (watashi desu! ).
I'm really starting to think I should just bite the bullet and get it off my chest, because the way I see it, one of two things could happen. A) I could tell him, get rejected and then things would be awkward and I'd be sad for the rest of the summer, or B) I could not tell him, he'd hook up with Emi kun and then I'd be sad for the rest of the summer. I think option A might be the lesser of the two evils. At least with that option I'd be nervous and on edge knowing that he knew of my crush on him and he'd just stop talking to me to avoid leading me on. (Actually, that sounds pretty bad...) With the other option, he'd hook up with Emi kun for a summer fling and I'd have to suffer through them making eyes at each other from across the room all summer, forcing me into a semi-permanent rut until school starts up again and I inadvertently run into some other hot guy sometime next January. I dunno. At least in this scenario he'd still talk to me... which means that I'd have a fighting chance! Yes! Don't you love it when you argue with yourself until you come up with an enlightening, compromising solution? I know I do! My solution? Both scenarios could happen! I could tell him, he might reject me and avoid talking to me, OR I could tell him and it'd be ME he'd have the summer fling with! Haha! I win!
Well, wishful thinking has taken over my brain, and now I shall go to bed with happy thoughts. Ciao!
I should do this more often...
Although I am beginning to think that it's not such a bad idea to tell him now. There's this relatively new sales rep working there now and she's really cute and adorable! We'll name her Emi kun. She's got long, black, curly hair and she usually wears a rose clip, Billie Holiday style. Fierce! She's a theater person, so she's inherently outgoing and flirtatious. Kinda makes me nervous when she's around the hot guy I've got my sights set on, honestly. But really, I'm not exactly sure I even have anything to worry about. Emi kun may not be interested in him at all. She's probably more into Toni chan than she is Niku sempai. But I just can't help but be a tad jealous. Two outgoing people always seem to get along better than one outgoing person and one borderline recluse (watashi desu! ).
I'm really starting to think I should just bite the bullet and get it off my chest, because the way I see it, one of two things could happen. A) I could tell him, get rejected and then things would be awkward and I'd be sad for the rest of the summer, or B) I could not tell him, he'd hook up with Emi kun and then I'd be sad for the rest of the summer. I think option A might be the lesser of the two evils. At least with that option I'd be nervous and on edge knowing that he knew of my crush on him and he'd just stop talking to me to avoid leading me on. (Actually, that sounds pretty bad...) With the other option, he'd hook up with Emi kun for a summer fling and I'd have to suffer through them making eyes at each other from across the room all summer, forcing me into a semi-permanent rut until school starts up again and I inadvertently run into some other hot guy sometime next January. I dunno. At least in this scenario he'd still talk to me... which means that I'd have a fighting chance! Yes! Don't you love it when you argue with yourself until you come up with an enlightening, compromising solution? I know I do! My solution? Both scenarios could happen! I could tell him, he might reject me and avoid talking to me, OR I could tell him and it'd be ME he'd have the summer fling with! Haha! I win!
Well, wishful thinking has taken over my brain, and now I shall go to bed with happy thoughts. Ciao!
I should do this more often...