This fic still needs a title.
And it involves characters from the novel I wrote for Nanowrimo but can be read without having read that.
Write a short story of 1500 words that includes some use of time-shift and some dialogue.
As Peter Collins waited in the hotel bar, he had time to reflect. It had been five months since he had last seen Anna. To be fair since he had walked out on Anna, leaving no word of what he was up to, where he was, or even letting her know he was still alive. He was surprised that Anna had bothered to keep trying to find him, but that was part of her personality. He would go missing, to get away from his father, and Anna would track him down. He was grateful for that. It was the one thing he could rely on. Anna would always find him and get him straightened out. As he sipped his cocktail, he checked his watch. She was due to walk through the door into the bar any second now. He had time to reflect on the way they had parted five long months ago.
It was at Anna’s mother’s funeral. Peter hated funerals, he always tried to avoid them but so many people close to him had died it was inevitable that he would have to attend some. He wished he had not been forced to attend this one though. He shuddered as he remembered the argument him and Anna had had. It had been over him disappearing all the time.
‘Peter, do you have to go away again?’ Anna had asked him.
‘You know I cannot stay with them Anna, I will not stay whilst he is around.’ Peter had responded testily.
The him in question was his father. To say they did not get on well would be an understatement; they hated each other, pure and simple. Anna had looked hurt at that. She had took a deep breath as if to stop herself from crying.
‘Look, I know its not? ideal but you can not keep running away, you can stay with me, at the end of the day...’
Peter did not let her finish her sentence. He had stormed off to the local pub, The Fly and Jug, and proceeded to get very drunk. The bar he was currently in was most definitely not The Fly and Jug. In fact, he was not even in his home area of the Lambert Estate. That was a good thing, the Lambert Estate was rough. Anna had once described it to her boss as
‘Its rough. Very Rough. Things that happen on the Lambert Estate, what happens there stays there. Sucks, truly sucks, the best thing someone could do for that estate is spilt split? it up, rehome everyone, get everyone away for each other and demolish the lot. Clean slate it you know, well most of that estate wants putting in prison , the police don't bother any more, not over there, need a police force of its own that place does.’
Peter was inclined to agree with Anna. The estate was not welcoming at the best of times but when you where were gay that was even worse. Peter checked his watch again as he took another sip of his cocktail. He did not notice Anna walk into the bar and order a water. He did not notice her creep up behind him. He finally noticed her when she dumped the glass of water over his head. It was Anna’s way of showing that she was annoyed with him. Anna did not forgive and forget easily. Peter thought that true of most of the women in his life though.
‘Hey’ she said, almost as an after thought.
‘Hi’ he responded. He took the napkins she offered him from a nearby table. ‘You look like hell.’ He added as he mopped the water up from himself and the table.
‘Honest as ever.’ She said as she took a sip of his cocktail. She pulled a face at the taste. Anna never was one who drank alcohol often. ‘And you are a right royal sod.’
‘Glad we established that!’ Peter said good-naturedly. Anna was right. He deserved to be called worse. ‘But seriously Anna darling, you look…’ he trailed off unable to finish the sentence.
‘Crappy?’ Anna supplied for him.
‘Yes.’ Peter said with a nod.
‘What did you expect me to look like Pete; this year has not exactly been great for me. The last thing I needed was for my best friend to do a bleeding disappearing act again.’ She said. To Peter it sounded like it was all in one breath.
‘Anna, look’ He started. Unfortunately, for Peter though Anna was in full flow now.
‘And just to complete this year wonderfully my wonderful step father is has launched an appeal. Something about the police bodging evidence together.’ She, understandably, sounded less than happy.
‘Oh that’s so not good.’ Peter announced.
VB: Excellent use of dialogue.
Peter was right. It was very bad news for Anna. It had been her evidence that had put Frank Hopkins away for a stay at her majesties pleasure. Frank was not a nice person. His record included drug-dealing, rape and attempted murder. Peter had seen her in court that day, had met up with her for lunch. Her and Ashton, VB: Do we really need him? He doesn’t really bring much to the story. a mutual friend. Peter’s recollection of the conversation was like this. VB: Is there a more natural way you can get back into using the dialogue?
‘Seriously though Miss Anna Marie Johnson, how the devil did you end up as a
witness here.’ He said giving her a hug.
‘It's a long story Pete mate, that I will need a stiff cup of doctor pepper to be able to cope with retelling it again!’ She had sat down looking exhausted. Actually she had collapsed into a chair looking like she wanted to be anywhere but there.
‘Oh Anna, what will we do with you.’ He said. He had gently kissed Anna’s forehead at that point. She give a little sigh at that, glad for the comfort it offered.
‘I do not know, Pete. Anyway enough about that, what you doing back here, I though you where not coming back at Christmas or until you met the one, which ever happened first.’
‘Ran out of money! And I missed you, missy!’ had been Peters response.
Ashton had smiled at that before announcing
‘Oh God, there they’re together again, let the chaos commence’.
Ashton did have a point there. Whenever Anna and Peter had gotten together there usually was a certain amount of mayhem left in their wake.
The witness services person assigned to Anna had tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile. It had been nice for Anna to have peter Peter back in her life at that point. As the saying goes, everyone needs a gay best friend and Peter was Anna’s.
However, despite the trouble going on in Anna’s life at that point then she looked a lot better at that time than she did now. Whereas Peter looked a lot healthier and relaxed, Anna looked ill and stressed.
‘So how you doing Peter?’ She asked him then breaking him out of his thoughts.
‘Me? I am Fabulous . I work and live here now as a bartender, got myself a boyfriend. He works as a bellhop. The moneys good, the tips are great and the boss is easy going.’
‘Oh Peter that’s fantastic. Do I get to meet the lucky bloke then?’ Anna said, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Peter could not help but wince as he glanced at one of Anna’s scars briefly at that point. Another set of injuries Frank had caused her.
‘Sure can. He is his visiting his sister at the moment but his due back tomorrow.’
‘Ah.’ Anna paused. ‘I am going in hospital for an operation tomorrow.’
‘Oh.’ Peter said. This time he took a long gulp of his cocktail.
‘Yeah. The there was, um complications. From the anorexia and abuse.’
Peter did not need her to elaborate further. Although he was away from her for long periods, he knew just what she was referring to. Just like Anna would come find him when he went missing, he also kept track of what Anna was up to. Peter mentally thanked the fact Anna had took to blogging and keeping an online journal. It was by leaving her messages on her blog that Anna had been able to track him down. It was also obvious to Peter that operation did not necessarily mean an operation. The only hospital Anna could have meant was the local psychiatric hospital. It broke Peter’s heart to think that is where Anna was heading but he also knew at that moment in time it was the best place for her.
‘Beth and Andrew talked me into it.’ Anna declared as if she could read his mind. Andrew was her brother, and Beth his wife to be. ‘Not your fault you know, I would not have wanted to be around me these past few months either.’ She looked directly at him then. ‘But you better visit dude. And I still want to meet the cutie you bagged.’
‘I will. I promise I will.’ Peter said.
This was a promise he actually managed to keep.
Word Count, 1501.
Write a short story of 1500 words that includes some use of time-shift and some dialogue.
As Peter Collins waited in the hotel bar, he had time to reflect. It had been five months since he had last seen Anna. To be fair since he had walked out on Anna, leaving no word of what he was up to, where he was, or even letting her know he was still alive. He was surprised that Anna had bothered to keep trying to find him, but that was part of her personality. He would go missing, to get away from his father, and Anna would track him down. He was grateful for that. It was the one thing he could rely on. Anna would always find him and get him straightened out. As he sipped his cocktail, he checked his watch. She was due to walk through the door into the bar any second now. He had time to reflect on the way they had parted five long months ago.
It was at Anna’s mother’s funeral. Peter hated funerals, he always tried to avoid them but so many people close to him had died it was inevitable that he would have to attend some. He wished he had not been forced to attend this one though. He shuddered as he remembered the argument him and Anna had had. It had been over him disappearing all the time.
‘Peter, do you have to go away again?’ Anna had asked him.
‘You know I cannot stay with them Anna, I will not stay whilst he is around.’ Peter had responded testily.
The him in question was his father. To say they did not get on well would be an understatement; they hated each other, pure and simple. Anna had looked hurt at that. She had took a deep breath as if to stop herself from crying.
‘Look, I know its not? ideal but you can not keep running away, you can stay with me, at the end of the day...’
Peter did not let her finish her sentence. He had stormed off to the local pub, The Fly and Jug, and proceeded to get very drunk. The bar he was currently in was most definitely not The Fly and Jug. In fact, he was not even in his home area of the Lambert Estate. That was a good thing, the Lambert Estate was rough. Anna had once described it to her boss as
‘Its rough. Very Rough. Things that happen on the Lambert Estate, what happens there stays there. Sucks, truly sucks, the best thing someone could do for that estate is spilt split? it up, rehome everyone, get everyone away for each other and demolish the lot. Clean slate it you know, well most of that estate wants putting in prison , the police don't bother any more, not over there, need a police force of its own that place does.’
Peter was inclined to agree with Anna. The estate was not welcoming at the best of times but when you where were gay that was even worse. Peter checked his watch again as he took another sip of his cocktail. He did not notice Anna walk into the bar and order a water. He did not notice her creep up behind him. He finally noticed her when she dumped the glass of water over his head. It was Anna’s way of showing that she was annoyed with him. Anna did not forgive and forget easily. Peter thought that true of most of the women in his life though.
‘Hey’ she said, almost as an after thought.
‘Hi’ he responded. He took the napkins she offered him from a nearby table. ‘You look like hell.’ He added as he mopped the water up from himself and the table.
‘Honest as ever.’ She said as she took a sip of his cocktail. She pulled a face at the taste. Anna never was one who drank alcohol often. ‘And you are a right royal sod.’
‘Glad we established that!’ Peter said good-naturedly. Anna was right. He deserved to be called worse. ‘But seriously Anna darling, you look…’ he trailed off unable to finish the sentence.
‘Crappy?’ Anna supplied for him.
‘Yes.’ Peter said with a nod.
‘What did you expect me to look like Pete; this year has not exactly been great for me. The last thing I needed was for my best friend to do a bleeding disappearing act again.’ She said. To Peter it sounded like it was all in one breath.
‘Anna, look’ He started. Unfortunately, for Peter though Anna was in full flow now.
‘And just to complete this year wonderfully my wonderful step father is has launched an appeal. Something about the police bodging evidence together.’ She, understandably, sounded less than happy.
‘Oh that’s so not good.’ Peter announced.
VB: Excellent use of dialogue.
Peter was right. It was very bad news for Anna. It had been her evidence that had put Frank Hopkins away for a stay at her majesties pleasure. Frank was not a nice person. His record included drug-dealing, rape and attempted murder. Peter had seen her in court that day, had met up with her for lunch. Her and Ashton, VB: Do we really need him? He doesn’t really bring much to the story. a mutual friend. Peter’s recollection of the conversation was like this. VB: Is there a more natural way you can get back into using the dialogue?
‘Seriously though Miss Anna Marie Johnson, how the devil did you end up as a
witness here.’ He said giving her a hug.
‘It's a long story Pete mate, that I will need a stiff cup of doctor pepper to be able to cope with retelling it again!’ She had sat down looking exhausted. Actually she had collapsed into a chair looking like she wanted to be anywhere but there.
‘Oh Anna, what will we do with you.’ He said. He had gently kissed Anna’s forehead at that point. She give a little sigh at that, glad for the comfort it offered.
‘I do not know, Pete. Anyway enough about that, what you doing back here, I though you where not coming back at Christmas or until you met the one, which ever happened first.’
‘Ran out of money! And I missed you, missy!’ had been Peters response.
Ashton had smiled at that before announcing
‘Oh God, there they’re together again, let the chaos commence’.
Ashton did have a point there. Whenever Anna and Peter had gotten together there usually was a certain amount of mayhem left in their wake.
The witness services person assigned to Anna had tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile. It had been nice for Anna to have peter Peter back in her life at that point. As the saying goes, everyone needs a gay best friend and Peter was Anna’s.
However, despite the trouble going on in Anna’s life at that point then she looked a lot better at that time than she did now. Whereas Peter looked a lot healthier and relaxed, Anna looked ill and stressed.
‘So how you doing Peter?’ She asked him then breaking him out of his thoughts.
‘Me? I am Fabulous . I work and live here now as a bartender, got myself a boyfriend. He works as a bellhop. The moneys good, the tips are great and the boss is easy going.’
‘Oh Peter that’s fantastic. Do I get to meet the lucky bloke then?’ Anna said, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Peter could not help but wince as he glanced at one of Anna’s scars briefly at that point. Another set of injuries Frank had caused her.
‘Sure can. He is his visiting his sister at the moment but his due back tomorrow.’
‘Ah.’ Anna paused. ‘I am going in hospital for an operation tomorrow.’
‘Oh.’ Peter said. This time he took a long gulp of his cocktail.
‘Yeah. The there was, um complications. From the anorexia and abuse.’
Peter did not need her to elaborate further. Although he was away from her for long periods, he knew just what she was referring to. Just like Anna would come find him when he went missing, he also kept track of what Anna was up to. Peter mentally thanked the fact Anna had took to blogging and keeping an online journal. It was by leaving her messages on her blog that Anna had been able to track him down. It was also obvious to Peter that operation did not necessarily mean an operation. The only hospital Anna could have meant was the local psychiatric hospital. It broke Peter’s heart to think that is where Anna was heading but he also knew at that moment in time it was the best place for her.
‘Beth and Andrew talked me into it.’ Anna declared as if she could read his mind. Andrew was her brother, and Beth his wife to be. ‘Not your fault you know, I would not have wanted to be around me these past few months either.’ She looked directly at him then. ‘But you better visit dude. And I still want to meet the cutie you bagged.’
‘I will. I promise I will.’ Peter said.
This was a promise he actually managed to keep.
Word Count, 1501.