(no subject)
I'm back home, earlier than I had originally planned. Oh, the peace and the quiet. And our plants aren't even all dead.
With the future in mind and a new year approaching, and because I was omgsofuckingbored yesterday, I thought it might be useful to write down a few more or less important things we learned from series 3 of The Mighty Boosh. There really should be a Boosh Bible. A dogma-free one, of course, narrated through illustrations, and maybe with music like in those annoying greeting cards you open and music starts playing. There could even be fashion prophecies.
Eels:
No smoke without fire. (Smoke machines don't count. They use dry ice.)
A big man with tiny eyes is a creepy combo. (Although not really because Julian Barratt = SEX.)
Do not advertise any of your kinky sidelines on the front window of your workplace.
The lead guitarist of the Horrors is in Bethnal green cemetery having a picnic.
What goes on tour, stays on tour, and bugger shaman law.
Super magic men can stay up till 5am.
Kirk can't drive. He is a renowned ram raider and a vehicular menace, mowing down all in his path.
Howard Moon will bum you silly for loose change.
Don't leave it in thick blobs - rub it in. Work it with your fingers. (Arousal is nothing to be ashamed of.)
Getting caught of bringing your mobile phone to a stag weekend means a turban full of tequila - in one.
Midnight Cowboy has some good pointers if you are considering male prostitution.
Journey to the Centre of the Punk:
Paperclips don't live on the floor but on the paperclip tray, blutack lives in the blutack garden and cellotape on the cellotape tree - all safely in stationery village.
Punks are angry. Angry about all the stuff. You know, the stuff that's going on in the world.
When one sense diminishes, another one increases. (Go ahead, throw a spanner at me.)
Headbands are coming back in.
The scuba diving look is so now.
The Power of the Crimp:
It's what's inside that counts - it's not the peel it's the 'nana.
In order to avoid confusion, talk in fashion terms.
Expressing yourself can be hard when you don't have a pencil case story.
Crimping is for night times, in our room, when no one is looking.
Future is dead, retro is the new thing, sir.
When all else seems lost, go for the fourway crimp.
You can't really go to places with crimping.
Strange Tale of the Crack Fox:
Apparently, loincloths are coming back in.
You don't see people in 'Dazed and Confused' tidying up.
Designated Refuse Areas (or DRA's) should not be taken lightly.
Rubbish does not desolve in the rain like a giant Berocca.
Binmen do exist and unlike unicorns are not the stuff of legend.
We can't all be models and work in a band, or what did you think happens to stocky short people with wide backs?
Fox porn is for night times only, for the fuzzy tingle times.
We are not here to discuss who can handle the most drugs.
When it comes to drug taking, it is safe to say Kirk leaves us all in the dust.
It's not everyday a stranger gifts you with a wonderous cape.
Just ask the Plan Pony.
The Party:
Bouncy castles are genious!
Do not try and lure your mate in with a crimp.
Stilettos are a no-no.
Birthday parties are evil - man is born alone and should celebrate that day alone, in sombre isolation.
Weigh your options carefully before choosing to marry an extreme sports calendar model.
All men of advanced age and sexual decline should consider wearing a man corset.
Women love men with knockers.
When cooking, don't worry if you don't own a cauldron - metal compost bins work just as well.
Do not eat fifteen hashcakes in one go because you will see the devil and it will try and rip your heart out through your kneecaps.
We all like having fun, but it's even more fun when we can have safe fun.
The box is there for a reason.
No, he is not Christ. Don't let the perfect hair, glittery feather cape and shiny silk tunic fool you.
It is forbidden for a mere mortal to touch the garments of a shaman.
You can't just "go gay". It's not like buying a ladder.
Sometimes rules are best bent just to breaking point and then pulled back
You don't just stand in a cupboard together with an extreme sports calendar model.
What goes on the roof, stays on the roof.
The Chokes:
Just accept you have short muscular legs, like a football player, and get on with your life.
Cabaret is coming back in.
Cheeseplants can be quite judgemental.
Many a fine actor suffered from the chokes.
It's not easy being an actor. Sometimes you'll have to act for 30-35 minutes in one go with no interval. Well, a short interval, but then another half an hour.
Proper actors wear tights.
It's still unclear who the fuck John Simm is.
Just think of the pencil, think of the pencil.
All credit to the genious of Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, and a little bit to the sexeh Richard Ayoade as well.
(Oh Monty Flange, you dirty old thespian. You are like something out of an AU Withail & I, written and directed by The Mighty Boosh, in which John Simm could do a famous cameo as a skinny, depressed cow.)
With the future in mind and a new year approaching, and because I was omgsofuckingbored yesterday, I thought it might be useful to write down a few more or less important things we learned from series 3 of The Mighty Boosh. There really should be a Boosh Bible. A dogma-free one, of course, narrated through illustrations, and maybe with music like in those annoying greeting cards you open and music starts playing. There could even be fashion prophecies.
Eels:
No smoke without fire. (Smoke machines don't count. They use dry ice.)
A big man with tiny eyes is a creepy combo. (Although not really because Julian Barratt = SEX.)
Do not advertise any of your kinky sidelines on the front window of your workplace.
The lead guitarist of the Horrors is in Bethnal green cemetery having a picnic.
What goes on tour, stays on tour, and bugger shaman law.
Super magic men can stay up till 5am.
Kirk can't drive. He is a renowned ram raider and a vehicular menace, mowing down all in his path.
Howard Moon will bum you silly for loose change.
Don't leave it in thick blobs - rub it in. Work it with your fingers. (Arousal is nothing to be ashamed of.)
Getting caught of bringing your mobile phone to a stag weekend means a turban full of tequila - in one.
Midnight Cowboy has some good pointers if you are considering male prostitution.
Journey to the Centre of the Punk:
Paperclips don't live on the floor but on the paperclip tray, blutack lives in the blutack garden and cellotape on the cellotape tree - all safely in stationery village.
Punks are angry. Angry about all the stuff. You know, the stuff that's going on in the world.
When one sense diminishes, another one increases. (Go ahead, throw a spanner at me.)
Headbands are coming back in.
The scuba diving look is so now.
The Power of the Crimp:
It's what's inside that counts - it's not the peel it's the 'nana.
In order to avoid confusion, talk in fashion terms.
Expressing yourself can be hard when you don't have a pencil case story.
Crimping is for night times, in our room, when no one is looking.
Future is dead, retro is the new thing, sir.
When all else seems lost, go for the fourway crimp.
You can't really go to places with crimping.
Strange Tale of the Crack Fox:
Apparently, loincloths are coming back in.
You don't see people in 'Dazed and Confused' tidying up.
Designated Refuse Areas (or DRA's) should not be taken lightly.
Rubbish does not desolve in the rain like a giant Berocca.
Binmen do exist and unlike unicorns are not the stuff of legend.
We can't all be models and work in a band, or what did you think happens to stocky short people with wide backs?
Fox porn is for night times only, for the fuzzy tingle times.
We are not here to discuss who can handle the most drugs.
When it comes to drug taking, it is safe to say Kirk leaves us all in the dust.
It's not everyday a stranger gifts you with a wonderous cape.
Just ask the Plan Pony.
The Party:
Bouncy castles are genious!
Do not try and lure your mate in with a crimp.
Stilettos are a no-no.
Birthday parties are evil - man is born alone and should celebrate that day alone, in sombre isolation.
Weigh your options carefully before choosing to marry an extreme sports calendar model.
All men of advanced age and sexual decline should consider wearing a man corset.
Women love men with knockers.
When cooking, don't worry if you don't own a cauldron - metal compost bins work just as well.
Do not eat fifteen hashcakes in one go because you will see the devil and it will try and rip your heart out through your kneecaps.
We all like having fun, but it's even more fun when we can have safe fun.
The box is there for a reason.
No, he is not Christ. Don't let the perfect hair, glittery feather cape and shiny silk tunic fool you.
It is forbidden for a mere mortal to touch the garments of a shaman.
You can't just "go gay". It's not like buying a ladder.
Sometimes rules are best bent just to breaking point and then pulled back
You don't just stand in a cupboard together with an extreme sports calendar model.
What goes on the roof, stays on the roof.
The Chokes:
Just accept you have short muscular legs, like a football player, and get on with your life.
Cabaret is coming back in.
Cheeseplants can be quite judgemental.
Many a fine actor suffered from the chokes.
It's not easy being an actor. Sometimes you'll have to act for 30-35 minutes in one go with no interval. Well, a short interval, but then another half an hour.
Proper actors wear tights.
It's still unclear who the fuck John Simm is.
Just think of the pencil, think of the pencil.
All credit to the genious of Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, and a little bit to the sexeh Richard Ayoade as well.
(Oh Monty Flange, you dirty old thespian. You are like something out of an AU Withail & I, written and directed by The Mighty Boosh, in which John Simm could do a famous cameo as a skinny, depressed cow.)