Это всего лишь череда случайностей
[Scene: A press conference at the Gotham City Police Department. Journalists are gathered around Batman, eager to ask him questions.]
Journalist 1: Batman, we have noticed a rather peculiar trend lately. While you claim to never kill anyone, there always seem to be a trail of dead bodies left behind you. Care to explain?
Batman: Ah, yes, the infamous dead bodies. You see, it's all just a series of unfortunate accidents. Purely coincidental, I assure you.
Journalist 2: Coincidental? That's hard to believe, Batman. How do you explain the numerous casualties?
Batman: Well, it all started innocently enough. You know, Gotham City can be a pretty treacherous place, especially at night. So, I was just minding my own business, soaring through the night, when suddenly... a flock of wayward pigeons swooped down on me!
Journalist 3: Pigeons? Seriously?
Batman: Yes, pigeons! It was like they were out for revenge or something. Flapping their wings all over the place, causing a massive chaos. I tried to dodge them, but alas, one unfortunate criminal slipped on their droppings and... well, let's just say he didn't make it.
Journalist 4: That sounds highly unlikely, Batman.
Batman: I understand your skepticism, but that was just the beginning. Next, a street performer with an absurdly long balloon animal tripped and accidentally launched a humongous snake-shaped balloon straight into the path of another miscreant. It wrapped around him so tightly that, well... let's just say he won't be pulling any heists anytime soon.
Journalist 1: Balloon animals? Seriously, Batman?
Batman: Hey, don't underestimate the power of a twisted balloon! But wait, there's more! The next incident involved an ice cream truck, a runaway squirrel, and a man with a severe lactose intolerance. Let's just say it was a frosty catastrophe with explosive results.
Journalist 2: That's... quite the coincidence, Batman.
Batman: I know, I know. It sounds preposterous, but these accidents are as real as my utility belt. Oh, and you won't believe this one. Picture this: I was chasing a criminal through a construction site when suddenly, a group of nuns on unicycles crashed into a pile of marbles. The criminal lost his balance, and well, let's just say he took a dive into a vat of foam rubber.
Journalist 3: Unicycling nuns, marbles, and foam rubber? Batman, are you sure you're not pulling our leg?
Batman: I assure you; these are not tall tales. These accidents may sound ridiculous, but they happened right before my eyes. Just when I think Gotham City can't surprise me anymore, it finds new ways to astound.
Journalist 4: Well, Batman, it seems your accident stories are getting more and more far-fetched. Can you provide any evidence to support your claims?
Batman: Evidence? Well, unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, I never really had time to take pictures or collect samples. You'll just have to trust me on this one. After all, I am the Dark Knight.
[The journalists exchange skeptical glances, unable to suppress their amusement.]
Journalist 1: Thank you for your... enlightening explanation, Batman. We'll definitely keep an eye out for rogue pigeons, balloon animals, and unicycling nuns from now on.
Batman: You do that. And remember, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Gotham City has a way of making even the most ridiculous accidents a reality. Now, where did I put that can of anti-pigeon repellent? Ah, well. To the Batmobile!
Journalist 1: Batman, we have noticed a rather peculiar trend lately. While you claim to never kill anyone, there always seem to be a trail of dead bodies left behind you. Care to explain?
Batman: Ah, yes, the infamous dead bodies. You see, it's all just a series of unfortunate accidents. Purely coincidental, I assure you.
Journalist 2: Coincidental? That's hard to believe, Batman. How do you explain the numerous casualties?
Batman: Well, it all started innocently enough. You know, Gotham City can be a pretty treacherous place, especially at night. So, I was just minding my own business, soaring through the night, when suddenly... a flock of wayward pigeons swooped down on me!
Journalist 3: Pigeons? Seriously?
Batman: Yes, pigeons! It was like they were out for revenge or something. Flapping their wings all over the place, causing a massive chaos. I tried to dodge them, but alas, one unfortunate criminal slipped on their droppings and... well, let's just say he didn't make it.
Journalist 4: That sounds highly unlikely, Batman.
Batman: I understand your skepticism, but that was just the beginning. Next, a street performer with an absurdly long balloon animal tripped and accidentally launched a humongous snake-shaped balloon straight into the path of another miscreant. It wrapped around him so tightly that, well... let's just say he won't be pulling any heists anytime soon.
Journalist 1: Balloon animals? Seriously, Batman?
Batman: Hey, don't underestimate the power of a twisted balloon! But wait, there's more! The next incident involved an ice cream truck, a runaway squirrel, and a man with a severe lactose intolerance. Let's just say it was a frosty catastrophe with explosive results.
Journalist 2: That's... quite the coincidence, Batman.
Batman: I know, I know. It sounds preposterous, but these accidents are as real as my utility belt. Oh, and you won't believe this one. Picture this: I was chasing a criminal through a construction site when suddenly, a group of nuns on unicycles crashed into a pile of marbles. The criminal lost his balance, and well, let's just say he took a dive into a vat of foam rubber.
Journalist 3: Unicycling nuns, marbles, and foam rubber? Batman, are you sure you're not pulling our leg?
Batman: I assure you; these are not tall tales. These accidents may sound ridiculous, but they happened right before my eyes. Just when I think Gotham City can't surprise me anymore, it finds new ways to astound.
Journalist 4: Well, Batman, it seems your accident stories are getting more and more far-fetched. Can you provide any evidence to support your claims?
Batman: Evidence? Well, unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, I never really had time to take pictures or collect samples. You'll just have to trust me on this one. After all, I am the Dark Knight.
[The journalists exchange skeptical glances, unable to suppress their amusement.]
Journalist 1: Thank you for your... enlightening explanation, Batman. We'll definitely keep an eye out for rogue pigeons, balloon animals, and unicycling nuns from now on.
Batman: You do that. And remember, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Gotham City has a way of making even the most ridiculous accidents a reality. Now, where did I put that can of anti-pigeon repellent? Ah, well. To the Batmobile!