The Lies of Locke Lamora
“I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!”
Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wineglass held high; he and the other Gentlemen Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table in the opulent burrow beneath the House of Perelandro; Calo and Galdo on his right, Jean and Bug on his left. A huge spread of food was set before them, and the celestial chandelier swung overhead with its familiar golden light. The others began to jeer.
“Liar!” they chorused in unison.
“I only steal because this wicked world won’t let me work an honest trade!” Calo cried, hoisting his own glass.
“Liar!”
“I only steal because I have to support my poor lazy twin brother, whose indolence broke our mother’s heart!” Galdo elbowed Calo as he made this announcement.
“Liar!”
“I only steal,” said Jean, “because I’ve temporarily fallen in with bad company.”
“Liar!”
At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, “I only steal because it’s heaps of fucking fun!”
“BASTARD!”
With a general clamor of whooping and hollering the five thieves banged glasses together.
The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch
I loved the idea of the Gentlemen Bastards, their training and their ways. The passages on Locke's childhood were priceless. Everybody played the smartass with a colorful range of comebacks and threats, which provided a ton of amusing lines, exchanges and situations.
But the intermittent, neverending description of that modern-past alchemic Venic... Camorr, the history (argh!!!), the architecture (double ARGH!!!), the nobility, and the social layers with their barbaric customs, all of that dumped on the reader in detriment of further character development, bored and annoyed me to no end. And the plot twisted for the worse with the figure of the Bondsmage, a person capable of performing the three unforgivable curses by turning any surface into a Death Note. From then on I lost track of what the story was about, and became increasingly disappointed as cunning and deceit were forgotten in favor of magical powers and brute strength.
I read it because two different friends recommended it and I had no expectations whatsoever, didn't even know what it was about, whether it was popular; and I don't care if something is popular or not as long as I can enjoy it, but I think this controversial review hits the mark quite close when it stops comparing and focuses on the actual flaws. Charisma is more difficult to build than impossibly high crystal towers at Falselight.
I am not too eager to read the second book, but I know I eventually will, and I know most people are really looking forward to the third... And several more that are to come, plus perhaps a movie someday.