This animal i have become...
...i figured out...to the best of my knowledge...what was wrong...and have found myself...but not entirely...things have slowly become solved or solvable...and the only question is...will it all be worth it in the end...will the work i put into this have been for nothing...or will my friends actually be waiting for me...and welcome me back with open arms...it really is a tough question to ask yourself, when half of you wants to give up and just pretend that everythings ok...and the other half of you just wants everything to be perfectly fine...or as close as it can get...so really...i'm torn between what is right...and what is easy...and its hard to choose when i asked my friends to stay away...tomarrow i will continue the focus training i started earlier...and hopefully it will start to clear up all of this chaos swirling in my head...am i lonely...of course...i miss my friends...has it been long...no...but thats because i have grown attatched and dependant on them for absolutely everything...and i'm tired of it...dependancy need only go so far...so...i guess at this time...all i can ask is to ignore the last post and blog...basically...i'm asking for help...i don't exactly know the best way to ask...so if you need an answer...its gonna sound weird but listen to/or read the lyrics to Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace...it fits...rather well i suppose...but yes...with that...i've exausted myself and need to rest...
Goodnight...
Goodnight...