The End Of The World Is In Front Of Me
Hey guys,
i feel like theres quite a bit going on in my life right now. I've been getting better between a lot of things going on. I've been really trying to follow my therapist's advice. she thinks that a lot of times i'll think and worry about things that i shouldn't and sometimes i have the mind of someone who's like 30 and i never let myself have fun because i'm too worried to be my age so she suggested i go out and just be 21 and even though some things may make me uncomfortable i have to do them to break out of this shell that im in right now. so last week i went out to a bar and had some drinks...and its not me, its not who i am, i felt like a hypocrit and it did make me uncomfortable being there but all in all it was completely fun just to get out and say fuck everything else. I might actually go again tonight.
it's been almost 3 months since me and Al broke up. I'm still not over her. i still think about her a lot. I don't cry over her anymore though. i get bummed out every now and then but nothing to bad. I still really really miss her and everything that we had. Recently i just started being able to listen to love songs again but everytime i do she is smack dab right in the middle of my mind. I'm pretty sure I will always love her and I will NEVER be completely over her.
I have a date tonight! i'm actually pretty damn excited about it. this girl Louise is pretty fucking cool...were going to see a movie..maybe 2? get some ice cream whatever..this is another thing that is uncomfortable for me because it's someone other than Allison but whatever once again i'm following my therapist's advice. I'm not ready to date yet i don't think but i'm kind of forcing myself to because i feel like if i don't put myself out there and find someone to be with and she does, it is really really going to hurt me, and i'm not sure how much emotional pain my body can take at this point in my life. i know that sounds really emo but fuck you, i dont care im stating how i feel.
I'm starting my new job at the park district...1 part of it is that i teach a safety class to preschoolers which is completely amazing..and the other one is that im a summer camp counsler for preschoolers which is equally amazing! Teaching that class made me decide that i am going to major in early childhood education. With a degree in that i can teach preschool-3rd grade and i'm totally pysched and pumped about that. its something i can totally see me doing for the rest of my life. So i am happy about finally figuring that out.
i dont know what else to really say right now so im going to get back to cleaning and getting ready for my date 2night
peace yo
-Craig
i feel like theres quite a bit going on in my life right now. I've been getting better between a lot of things going on. I've been really trying to follow my therapist's advice. she thinks that a lot of times i'll think and worry about things that i shouldn't and sometimes i have the mind of someone who's like 30 and i never let myself have fun because i'm too worried to be my age so she suggested i go out and just be 21 and even though some things may make me uncomfortable i have to do them to break out of this shell that im in right now. so last week i went out to a bar and had some drinks...and its not me, its not who i am, i felt like a hypocrit and it did make me uncomfortable being there but all in all it was completely fun just to get out and say fuck everything else. I might actually go again tonight.
it's been almost 3 months since me and Al broke up. I'm still not over her. i still think about her a lot. I don't cry over her anymore though. i get bummed out every now and then but nothing to bad. I still really really miss her and everything that we had. Recently i just started being able to listen to love songs again but everytime i do she is smack dab right in the middle of my mind. I'm pretty sure I will always love her and I will NEVER be completely over her.
I have a date tonight! i'm actually pretty damn excited about it. this girl Louise is pretty fucking cool...were going to see a movie..maybe 2? get some ice cream whatever..this is another thing that is uncomfortable for me because it's someone other than Allison but whatever once again i'm following my therapist's advice. I'm not ready to date yet i don't think but i'm kind of forcing myself to because i feel like if i don't put myself out there and find someone to be with and she does, it is really really going to hurt me, and i'm not sure how much emotional pain my body can take at this point in my life. i know that sounds really emo but fuck you, i dont care im stating how i feel.
I'm starting my new job at the park district...1 part of it is that i teach a safety class to preschoolers which is completely amazing..and the other one is that im a summer camp counsler for preschoolers which is equally amazing! Teaching that class made me decide that i am going to major in early childhood education. With a degree in that i can teach preschool-3rd grade and i'm totally pysched and pumped about that. its something i can totally see me doing for the rest of my life. So i am happy about finally figuring that out.
i dont know what else to really say right now so im going to get back to cleaning and getting ready for my date 2night
peace yo
-Craig