Truth time... but only because kita0610 will read this and I want to make her pass liquid out of her nose.
When I read your bad!fic post, I was completely serious about you having mocked my fic. I have used probably 60% of those cliches in my porn. I love them, and I'm not ashamed, either. They have their roots in reality and I cling to them. And yes, like Snow, I too have had some lovely cock that I would happily and repeatedly describe as velvet over steel. Absolutely.
And, btw? Nothing sucks more than a weak orgasm. It's like an interrupted sneeze. In fairness, a dry fuck is worse. And sucking saggy ball bags. NOT THAT I HAVE lately but only because you know, the wife wouldn't approve and one day even Dave's will sag. Gravity is nobody's friend. Not even to the Big Boreanaz Ball Bag. I bet you dollars to donuts it's already heading toward his knees. Come 40 he's gonna need a tuck.
*cough*
I digress.
So I had to create some kind of witty rejoinder to hide my pain, thus the saggy sack crack. And today I look at the post as something akin to having SNL do a funny sktech about me. So all is cool. :-D
Full disclousure:
I have used brillo pubes. Not in this fandom, though. The cleaved, wormlike shaft? Is what's above the saggy ball bag. And one of these days, chickadee, you're gonna see it in my fic. With smegma.
Thank you for reccing me all over the place, oh bringer of Joy. Really. :::smooches you:::
And watch for the Saggy!Sac-a-thon because Giles and Ethan? So there.
Smegma leaves me speechless too. Oh my goddess, that's gotta go in a Spike fic. Must. He brings beer to meetings and is a stranger to hygeine. *facepalm*
No apologies necessary :-D at all. I should apologize for the brillo pubes -- but that's a classic.
Besides, I really don't write that much porn if you think about it ... I've written 15 (I think) Booth/Hodgins fics and they've only fucked once, and that was so couched in poetic aerobics you can barely tell they're doing anything.
Yeah, actually. Funny. Because I think of you as writing more porn than you do. I think because your fic is sexy even when it is not porny. And, I find pron couched in poetic aerobics hot, too.
Then again. There's some porn which I tend to label as "bad writing" because it uses something like "female juices", and yet it still gets me hot. Both work for me on kinda different levels. I've never been able to reconcile these two facts.
In fact, as long as no one is inserting anything into clitorises or there are no self-lubricating manholes, we might be alright.
Most of the porn i've written is in an RPG, and that was toughbecause the raison d'etre of the rpg was to have pretty boys fuck, so you do tend to run out of descritpives pretty quickly. Or you break up and there's keening.
Or there's Catherine Keener. I don't know. /rum.
Remember, I did do the litchi/labia comparison, but only because it's accurate to an amazing degree trust me. But see? That's why I don't do much femmeslash ... I'm afraid I'll have weeping womanly orifices and make too many fruity flesh comparisons (as in salted oregon cherries or that place on the plum where the skin tears from the inner flesh and it's tangy and sweet and soft oh... um... what? Right. My point.) You know I will do these things, yes.
Well, the thing is, I think there *are* different ways to describe pretty boys fucking. I guess I'm an optimist--or maybe an idealist--in believing that one can always be original. But the thing is? Short hand? You might as well use the cliches, and if the only object is to get you/who you're writing with off, what I style "good" writing is NOT an imperative--at least, as I've said, not for me.
I've never had litchi, so I really wouldn't know.
But actually, I *love* fruity flesh comparisons. Some metaphors that I love and think are best ever, include both fruit and, uh, flesh. I suppose it *is* a cliche, but that one always gets me going.
Yeah, it really just depends, I guess. Good writing is always a kink. And some cliches, like flesh fruit, can be bent over in the service of good (uh, phrasing? Have I mentioned, /me, lots and lots of wine, also?), but sometimes, phrasing of which I am ashamed in a literary sense gets me going too.
When I read your bad!fic post, I was completely serious about you having mocked my fic. I have used probably 60% of those cliches in my porn. I love them, and I'm not ashamed, either. They have their roots in reality and I cling to them. And yes, like Snow, I too have had some lovely cock that I would happily and repeatedly describe as velvet over steel. Absolutely.
And, btw? Nothing sucks more than a weak orgasm. It's like an interrupted sneeze. In fairness, a dry fuck is worse. And sucking saggy ball bags. NOT THAT I HAVE lately but only because you know, the wife wouldn't approve and one day even Dave's will sag. Gravity is nobody's friend. Not even to the Big Boreanaz Ball Bag. I bet you dollars to donuts it's already heading toward his knees. Come 40 he's gonna need a tuck.
*cough*
I digress.
So I had to create some kind of witty rejoinder to hide my pain, thus the saggy sack crack. And today I look at the post as something akin to having SNL do a funny sktech about me. So all is cool. :-D
Full disclousure:
I have used brillo pubes. Not in this fandom, though. The cleaved, wormlike shaft? Is what's above the saggy ball bag. And one of these days, chickadee, you're gonna see it in my fic. With smegma.
Thank you for reccing me all over the place, oh bringer of Joy. Really. :::smooches you:::
And watch for the Saggy!Sac-a-thon because Giles and Ethan? So there.
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Smegma leaves me speechless too. Oh my goddess, that's gotta go in a Spike fic. Must. He brings beer to meetings and is a stranger to hygeine. *facepalm*
No apologies necessary :-D at all. I should apologize for the brillo pubes -- but that's a classic.
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I TRY TO SCRUB THIS KIND OF THING FROM MY BRAIN. With steel wool.
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*cries*
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I was thinking about the Brillo, too, though.
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*stamps foot*
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Besides, I really don't write that much porn if you think about it ... I've written 15 (I think) Booth/Hodgins fics and they've only fucked once, and that was so couched in poetic aerobics you can barely tell they're doing anything.
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Then again. There's some porn which I tend to label as "bad writing" because it uses something like "female juices", and yet it still gets me hot. Both work for me on kinda different levels. I've never been able to reconcile these two facts.
In fact, as long as no one is inserting anything into clitorises or there are no self-lubricating manholes, we might be alright.
Reply
Or there's Catherine Keener. I don't know. /rum.
Remember, I did do the litchi/labia comparison, but only because it's accurate to an amazing degree trust me. But see? That's why I don't do much femmeslash ... I'm afraid I'll have weeping womanly orifices and make too many fruity flesh comparisons (as in salted oregon cherries or that place on the plum where the skin tears from the inner flesh and it's tangy and sweet and soft oh... um... what? Right. My point.) You know I will do these things, yes.
And did I mention /rum?
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I've never had litchi, so I really wouldn't know.
But actually, I *love* fruity flesh comparisons. Some metaphors that I love and think are best ever, include both fruit and, uh, flesh. I suppose it *is* a cliche, but that one always gets me going.
Yeah, it really just depends, I guess. Good writing is always a kink. And some cliches, like flesh fruit, can be bent over in the service of good (uh, phrasing? Have I mentioned, /me, lots and lots of wine, also?), but sometimes, phrasing of which I am ashamed in a literary sense gets me going too.
But, not brillo. Sorry.
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