Xander's Magical Cock
BECAUSE I OWN MY CRACK!FIC.
And because I love southernbangel, and these things about Chuck Norris.
Xander's Cock's tears can cure cancer. And it does cry. And weeps. Beads of pre-cum.
When Xander's Cock sends in its taxes, it sends blank forms and includes only a picture of itself with fairy!Spike perched on it, magical and making everyone happy. Xander's Cock has not had to pay taxes ever.
Xander's Cock counted to infinity - twice.
Xander's Cock isn't hung like a horse . . .Unicorns are hung like Xander's Cock.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Xander's Cock.
Xander's Cock can draw a square circle. With shimmering beads of pre-cum.
Xander's Cock doesn't read books. It makes sweet magical love to them until it gets the information it wants.
When Xander's Cock was in middle school, its English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Love?" Xander's Cock received an "A+" for writing only the words "Xander's Cock" (in glimmering beaded pre-cum) and promptly turning in the paper.
Xander's Cock ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Xander's Cock can touch MC Hammer. With ejaculate.
Xander's Cock's action figure has made sweet love to more women then most men. And more men than ALL women. Put together.
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Xander's Cock open you would find another Xander's Cock inside, only bigger and more beautiful.
Xander's Cock can unscramble an egg.
Bullets dodge Xander's Cock.
A man was once stranded on the side of the road after his car ran out of gas. Xander's Cock drove by, got out, and looked the man in the eye with its one weeping, pre-cum soaked eye. The man knew that everything would be fine. Then Xander's Cock proceeded to make sweet love to the man's gas tank and to this very day that man has never has been running on Xander's Cock's magical ejaculate. That was 14 years ago.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. Xander's Cock? Doesn't have tendons.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Xander's Cock made sweet tender love here."
Xander's Cock once met Chuck Norris. After that, Chuck Norris not only never roundhouse kicked anybody again . . . he turned into a fairy.
And because I love southernbangel, and these things about Chuck Norris.
Xander's Cock's tears can cure cancer. And it does cry. And weeps. Beads of pre-cum.
When Xander's Cock sends in its taxes, it sends blank forms and includes only a picture of itself with fairy!Spike perched on it, magical and making everyone happy. Xander's Cock has not had to pay taxes ever.
Xander's Cock counted to infinity - twice.
Xander's Cock isn't hung like a horse . . .Unicorns are hung like Xander's Cock.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Xander's Cock.
Xander's Cock can draw a square circle. With shimmering beads of pre-cum.
Xander's Cock doesn't read books. It makes sweet magical love to them until it gets the information it wants.
When Xander's Cock was in middle school, its English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Love?" Xander's Cock received an "A+" for writing only the words "Xander's Cock" (in glimmering beaded pre-cum) and promptly turning in the paper.
Xander's Cock ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Xander's Cock can touch MC Hammer. With ejaculate.
Xander's Cock's action figure has made sweet love to more women then most men. And more men than ALL women. Put together.
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Xander's Cock open you would find another Xander's Cock inside, only bigger and more beautiful.
Xander's Cock can unscramble an egg.
Bullets dodge Xander's Cock.
A man was once stranded on the side of the road after his car ran out of gas. Xander's Cock drove by, got out, and looked the man in the eye with its one weeping, pre-cum soaked eye. The man knew that everything would be fine. Then Xander's Cock proceeded to make sweet love to the man's gas tank and to this very day that man has never has been running on Xander's Cock's magical ejaculate. That was 14 years ago.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. Xander's Cock? Doesn't have tendons.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Xander's Cock made sweet tender love here."
Xander's Cock once met Chuck Norris. After that, Chuck Norris not only never roundhouse kicked anybody again . . . he turned into a fairy.