(no subject)
ok.. i just needa get this off my chest..
a couple days ago.. be and brandon broke up. he told me that its just not fun anymore. i just wanted to tell him that i can be fun.. i really wanted to work this out. but i cant anymore. i realize that ... and accept it. im trying to move on. i held hands with someone else.. which i considered cheating. i held hands with them.. one time. i felt so horrible. i really did think that was cheating.. because of how much i used to like brandon. key word.. used to. everynight i just wanted to hate him and be with him. i hate it. last night i was deleting all his messages and i just read some.. and started to cry. hes was so sweet. he called right when i was deleting/crying also. i tried to act normal. i just needed a good cry. i really did.. i didnt cry.. all he did was talk about tara blah.. blah. .i dont give a shit.. but i wanted to talk to him. . i couldnt take it anymore.. i just started crying and handed steph the phone. i cant talk to him anymore .. because i think.. that he only.. maybe.. likes me ONLY as a friend.. maybe less. it hurts my feelings. it makes me feel like crap. i just wanna say im sorry.. i just wanted him.. but .. god. i just take a deep breath.. and holy hell.. im GETTIN BETTER. it just hurts me.. every guy.. aint worth it.. all the ones.. matt... brandon.. chris..wes.. they all.. are the same. I JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT NO MORE.
its hard to say if im getting better or just gettin used to the pain.
for hating you i blame myself......... no i wont.. cry.. anymore.
a couple days ago.. be and brandon broke up. he told me that its just not fun anymore. i just wanted to tell him that i can be fun.. i really wanted to work this out. but i cant anymore. i realize that ... and accept it. im trying to move on. i held hands with someone else.. which i considered cheating. i held hands with them.. one time. i felt so horrible. i really did think that was cheating.. because of how much i used to like brandon. key word.. used to. everynight i just wanted to hate him and be with him. i hate it. last night i was deleting all his messages and i just read some.. and started to cry. hes was so sweet. he called right when i was deleting/crying also. i tried to act normal. i just needed a good cry. i really did.. i didnt cry.. all he did was talk about tara blah.. blah. .i dont give a shit.. but i wanted to talk to him. . i couldnt take it anymore.. i just started crying and handed steph the phone. i cant talk to him anymore .. because i think.. that he only.. maybe.. likes me ONLY as a friend.. maybe less. it hurts my feelings. it makes me feel like crap. i just wanna say im sorry.. i just wanted him.. but .. god. i just take a deep breath.. and holy hell.. im GETTIN BETTER. it just hurts me.. every guy.. aint worth it.. all the ones.. matt... brandon.. chris..wes.. they all.. are the same. I JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT NO MORE.
its hard to say if im getting better or just gettin used to the pain.
for hating you i blame myself......... no i wont.. cry.. anymore.