Let's count how many times I can drop the F-bomb when fighting with Jay.
Setting: It's 1:42 a.m. outside my house. The entire neighborhood is sleeping, and The (Ex?) Boy decided that it was an ideal time for a screaming match. In the middle of the street outside my house. Why, I don't fucking know.
Me: You're so selfish... You do everything for yourself and you're so fucking used to getting your way.
Boy: Oh come on, Jenn. Just come back to my house. We both know you'd rather hang out more than go back to your house. You're just being a spiteful bitch because you're convinced I fucked up our relationship.
Me: Oh yeah, calling me names is definitely the way to get back into my pants. You're a fucking idiot.
(Out of nowhere, a neighbor I've never seen walks into the street.)
Scraggly 20-something: Hey... how old are you guys?
Me: ... old enough.
Scraggly 20-something: Well I'm 23 and I still end up going through this all the time. You're not gonna win, bro. Just give up.
(The Boy does something ridiculously immature, like stomping his foot or something. I laugh.)
Me: See? This guy doesn't even know you, but he still knows you're not even close to getting any.
Me: You're so selfish... You do everything for yourself and you're so fucking used to getting your way.
Boy: Oh come on, Jenn. Just come back to my house. We both know you'd rather hang out more than go back to your house. You're just being a spiteful bitch because you're convinced I fucked up our relationship.
Me: Oh yeah, calling me names is definitely the way to get back into my pants. You're a fucking idiot.
(Out of nowhere, a neighbor I've never seen walks into the street.)
Scraggly 20-something: Hey... how old are you guys?
Me: ... old enough.
Scraggly 20-something: Well I'm 23 and I still end up going through this all the time. You're not gonna win, bro. Just give up.
(The Boy does something ridiculously immature, like stomping his foot or something. I laugh.)
Me: See? This guy doesn't even know you, but he still knows you're not even close to getting any.