Drabble: Pearls of silver (1/2) / Happy birthday kleemoon!
Title: Pearls of silver (1/2)
Pairings: Jared/Tomo
Rating: R
Warnings: Mentions of slash, angst, self-hurt
Feedback: See my puppy eyes? Pretty please! ^^
Disclaimer: It's fiction. Shall I spell it for you? F-I-C-T-I-O-N.
A/N: Happy birthday, kleemoon! This is for you, picking Tears from my prompt table. I'm sorry that it's not complete yet to your special day, but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! I wish you good luck for the new age and of course many presents xD Enjoy your day!!! *hugs*
Semi-darkness welcomed me, when I slowly entered the room. A single bed was positioned as close as possible to the small window. Carefully, I closed the door, tiptoeing until I stopped my steps. The curtains halfway open, so that only a narrow streak of the dim fall’s light slipped between grayish fabric and frame and lay down in a subdued gold on the blanket. In this distance, I could merely make out an even hill rising from the bed. If breath shifted the body than only so light that my eyes didn’t notice, not used to the sudden twilight in contrast to the bright, unnatural light from the corridor I came from. Like a physical wall, my fear built up in front of me.
I whispered words of courage to myself, lies, while step by step; syllable by syllable I walked towards to the small bed. But still I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. A lifeless body, lying on his side, the dull eyes staring widely at the wall, the head with the long, straggly hair resting on one arm, while the other hand pulled the slim knees close. The thin sheet showed more than it covered. Under the bright white of the blanket lay a skinny, drained body. While the limbs were way too long, way too lean, flexed the skin, under which fine muscle cords used to run, over the rib cage only. The body seemed dead, the huge, blue eyes blind, but underneath the surface something was still moving, still living.
“Jared…” His name became a whimper, a deep moan in my throat. But when I touched his skin, I shrank back from the coldness meeting my fingertips. I was scared that he was really dead, if not physically, then emotionally. Nothing moved; his body seeming like a rigid doll, somebody had forgotten to breathe new life into. All sparks of recognition extinct in the dark blue. Probably he didn’t want to recognize me, and I couldn’t blame him.
“Jared, please don’t make it that difficult…” I asked him urgently.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” His eyes were glowing like a pair of ice crystals in the sunlight, the light, almost marble skin framed by thick, dark waves. He seemed so frail, yet beautiful. Was this the reason why I hurt him? Ripping his heart out of the chest alive to trample on it, because he looked broken almost even more delicate than with an honest smile on his lips and pure luck gleaming in his eyes? Did I need to kick him to the ground, to humiliate him to see every tear shining like precious pearls? And because envy overcame me, when his slender body in submissive posture nevertheless looked so proud?
“I love you way too much. Too much to bear it,” I answered sadly. I didn’t want to look at him to make it any harder for both of us, but my gaze was fixed at the pearls born from his eyes, running down the even cheeks. They weren’t colorless or transparent, and didn’t even catch the sunrays. They were made of pure silver. Every one heavier, more valuable than the one before.
“Don’t you desire me anymore? Is it that?” He was tugging at his shirt.
“So God listens to me, you are all I ever desired!” I wanted to catch his face in my hands, hold him and absorb his unnatural beauty for a last time like an artist his special muse, while concentrating on the dark rings around his irises, which certainly were there to keep the blue from dissolving and drowning me. But Jared freed himself from my grip and stripped his shirt off, just like the jeans and boxers.
“Then take me!” he begged, “I’m yours. Only yours.” A hot wave was flowing through my veins, when the slim, yet muscular body in its original state pressed against my own. An angelic creature in body and essence. Both blessing and curse. With last willpower I pushed myself out of the zone, where I still felt his beauty without actually touching him.
“It’s over, Jared.” And I practically saw the crystals breaking in front of me, becoming dull stones. “It won’t work.” He fell to his knees. A naked penitent begging for forgiveness and apology. His slender fingers digging into the seam of my jeans, the in the meanwhile wet face pressed to the rough fabric.
“Please, no… Please don’t do this to me…” The exposed, completely defenseless body was shaken by deep sobs. Loudly, two souls were crashing in my chest. The scream to pull him into my arms and protect him. A living wall from any kind of physical and also mental hurt. And at the same time this deep primeval desire. The eager, small monster from the dark spot in my heart, which revived itself with him suffering, which longed for licking those salty drops and stroking the shaking body.
“It is to protect you. Don’t you understand that?” I asked desperately. Both the voices in my head were so loud that it hurt.
The pearls jumped from his cheeks, dropping onto his naked, trembling knees. They graced his chest and sprinkled the insides of his thighs. The fight had never been that hard. “Please don’t leave, Tomo. Baby, please…” I stumbled backwards away from him; saw how he sank forward, the hands still compulsively reaching for me. “I won’t survive this!” his voice and soul screamed in chorus, and made every fever in my body vibrate. But not ending this here, the love for him would someday eat me up from the inside.
Pairings: Jared/Tomo
Rating: R
Warnings: Mentions of slash, angst, self-hurt
Feedback: See my puppy eyes? Pretty please! ^^
Disclaimer: It's fiction. Shall I spell it for you? F-I-C-T-I-O-N.
A/N: Happy birthday, kleemoon! This is for you, picking Tears from my prompt table. I'm sorry that it's not complete yet to your special day, but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! I wish you good luck for the new age and of course many presents xD Enjoy your day!!! *hugs*
Semi-darkness welcomed me, when I slowly entered the room. A single bed was positioned as close as possible to the small window. Carefully, I closed the door, tiptoeing until I stopped my steps. The curtains halfway open, so that only a narrow streak of the dim fall’s light slipped between grayish fabric and frame and lay down in a subdued gold on the blanket. In this distance, I could merely make out an even hill rising from the bed. If breath shifted the body than only so light that my eyes didn’t notice, not used to the sudden twilight in contrast to the bright, unnatural light from the corridor I came from. Like a physical wall, my fear built up in front of me.
I whispered words of courage to myself, lies, while step by step; syllable by syllable I walked towards to the small bed. But still I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. A lifeless body, lying on his side, the dull eyes staring widely at the wall, the head with the long, straggly hair resting on one arm, while the other hand pulled the slim knees close. The thin sheet showed more than it covered. Under the bright white of the blanket lay a skinny, drained body. While the limbs were way too long, way too lean, flexed the skin, under which fine muscle cords used to run, over the rib cage only. The body seemed dead, the huge, blue eyes blind, but underneath the surface something was still moving, still living.
“Jared…” His name became a whimper, a deep moan in my throat. But when I touched his skin, I shrank back from the coldness meeting my fingertips. I was scared that he was really dead, if not physically, then emotionally. Nothing moved; his body seeming like a rigid doll, somebody had forgotten to breathe new life into. All sparks of recognition extinct in the dark blue. Probably he didn’t want to recognize me, and I couldn’t blame him.
“Jared, please don’t make it that difficult…” I asked him urgently.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” His eyes were glowing like a pair of ice crystals in the sunlight, the light, almost marble skin framed by thick, dark waves. He seemed so frail, yet beautiful. Was this the reason why I hurt him? Ripping his heart out of the chest alive to trample on it, because he looked broken almost even more delicate than with an honest smile on his lips and pure luck gleaming in his eyes? Did I need to kick him to the ground, to humiliate him to see every tear shining like precious pearls? And because envy overcame me, when his slender body in submissive posture nevertheless looked so proud?
“I love you way too much. Too much to bear it,” I answered sadly. I didn’t want to look at him to make it any harder for both of us, but my gaze was fixed at the pearls born from his eyes, running down the even cheeks. They weren’t colorless or transparent, and didn’t even catch the sunrays. They were made of pure silver. Every one heavier, more valuable than the one before.
“Don’t you desire me anymore? Is it that?” He was tugging at his shirt.
“So God listens to me, you are all I ever desired!” I wanted to catch his face in my hands, hold him and absorb his unnatural beauty for a last time like an artist his special muse, while concentrating on the dark rings around his irises, which certainly were there to keep the blue from dissolving and drowning me. But Jared freed himself from my grip and stripped his shirt off, just like the jeans and boxers.
“Then take me!” he begged, “I’m yours. Only yours.” A hot wave was flowing through my veins, when the slim, yet muscular body in its original state pressed against my own. An angelic creature in body and essence. Both blessing and curse. With last willpower I pushed myself out of the zone, where I still felt his beauty without actually touching him.
“It’s over, Jared.” And I practically saw the crystals breaking in front of me, becoming dull stones. “It won’t work.” He fell to his knees. A naked penitent begging for forgiveness and apology. His slender fingers digging into the seam of my jeans, the in the meanwhile wet face pressed to the rough fabric.
“Please, no… Please don’t do this to me…” The exposed, completely defenseless body was shaken by deep sobs. Loudly, two souls were crashing in my chest. The scream to pull him into my arms and protect him. A living wall from any kind of physical and also mental hurt. And at the same time this deep primeval desire. The eager, small monster from the dark spot in my heart, which revived itself with him suffering, which longed for licking those salty drops and stroking the shaking body.
“It is to protect you. Don’t you understand that?” I asked desperately. Both the voices in my head were so loud that it hurt.
The pearls jumped from his cheeks, dropping onto his naked, trembling knees. They graced his chest and sprinkled the insides of his thighs. The fight had never been that hard. “Please don’t leave, Tomo. Baby, please…” I stumbled backwards away from him; saw how he sank forward, the hands still compulsively reaching for me. “I won’t survive this!” his voice and soul screamed in chorus, and made every fever in my body vibrate. But not ending this here, the love for him would someday eat me up from the inside.