And now...for our feature presentation
Welp, have work in 30 minutes...or so. I just ate so much chicken though, Im so full I dont know how I'm going to pull off the act of work.
Im kind of having a chicken freak out moment here and everything went wrong. I started freaking out when aaron left for work because I didnt want to be alone. So then I thought I might call somebody, but I cant really find my phone and I dont want to get up off the couch to look for it, so I guess I'm just fucked. So anyway, the point of that useless paragraph is tolet the reader know that livejournal was my last resort...as I type thinnking the words loudly in my head.
I feel like I'm in a movie or something. maybe sex in the city, except without the sex.
So..."cuddling in bed with no genital action- in the city. "
I guess that's what we will call it.
And it would be a show mainly focused on my deprivation of it and what it's doing to me.
Eventually...I would kill myself. In the show, of course. Hm. I dont know if I would kill myself, actually, caue I wouldnt really kill myself over sex. But I would lose a job for it. I would definitely miss a job interview or not go in on time just because of...sex deprivation. I thnk I am addicted to sex.
I really do.
The more I get it the more I want it. Its like I'm never ever satisfied completely and I always want more. Like...all day more. But sigh...I guess that's not how the cookie crumbles on MY plate.
I guess I reached the writers block moment of the day. Completely forgot what I was typing about..
Oh, sex deprivation.
Right.
Pretty self explanatory, I dont need to get much more explicit with it.
It has been my experience today that good events have not really been happening this 420. I guess I should just go into zen mode and be optimistic. Maybe something GOOD will happen. Maybe I'll have a good time at work, meet the rest of the crew. And when I get back, maybe tonight will be fun. Maybe call of toga night will be a sucess. Maybe I wont completely ridicule myself at work by dropping a tray or something. That would be horrible. I think I would cry. I havent ever dropped a tray, I have dropped glasses though...on people...thats not as bad as a whole tray though. Im scared now. i truly have led myself, in the past 30 seconds, to believe that I will drop a whole tray tonight. For like a five top. With fajitas on it....and the fajitas will fall on a baby. Oh my god, i want to call in. I should call in and tell Rick that I think I'm jinxed tonight.
God...I cant call in, its my 5th day. I MUST keep this job. I must start to get stable job wise again. Im so tired of being the new person.....all the time. Its hard, man. Constantly being the new person and trying to adjust because you are constantly changing jobs.
I should have just stayed at pop a lock. I didnt have to look or talk to anyone, just pick up the phone and look at the clock.
But at work...as a server, fuck, the whole job is based on communication. You are the communicator between the customer and the kitchen. And the bar. I dont communicate well. I'm shy and self conscious about myself. Im so riiculously insecure. Like, Im not even capable of looking at the customers in the eyes. What the fuck is worng with me? They are just there to eat....but I feel so much pressure for some reason. I dont know, i think I just need to adjust, I can feel myself adjusting already, I'm just freaking out.
Sigh....Dont know whats wrong with me.
I really think I need some anti depressants. But Im too poor to go and get them prescribed to me. And to buy them. Wow...it costs so much to be happy. Or not miserable.
God, i feel so emo. Like, literally....just emo. So lame. Im really not emo, I'm just a self absorbed human being.....Shit man, I gotta go to work now...at least I feel a little better.
Peace out, mofos.
Im kind of having a chicken freak out moment here and everything went wrong. I started freaking out when aaron left for work because I didnt want to be alone. So then I thought I might call somebody, but I cant really find my phone and I dont want to get up off the couch to look for it, so I guess I'm just fucked. So anyway, the point of that useless paragraph is tolet the reader know that livejournal was my last resort...as I type thinnking the words loudly in my head.
I feel like I'm in a movie or something. maybe sex in the city, except without the sex.
So..."cuddling in bed with no genital action- in the city. "
I guess that's what we will call it.
And it would be a show mainly focused on my deprivation of it and what it's doing to me.
Eventually...I would kill myself. In the show, of course. Hm. I dont know if I would kill myself, actually, caue I wouldnt really kill myself over sex. But I would lose a job for it. I would definitely miss a job interview or not go in on time just because of...sex deprivation. I thnk I am addicted to sex.
I really do.
The more I get it the more I want it. Its like I'm never ever satisfied completely and I always want more. Like...all day more. But sigh...I guess that's not how the cookie crumbles on MY plate.
I guess I reached the writers block moment of the day. Completely forgot what I was typing about..
Oh, sex deprivation.
Right.
Pretty self explanatory, I dont need to get much more explicit with it.
It has been my experience today that good events have not really been happening this 420. I guess I should just go into zen mode and be optimistic. Maybe something GOOD will happen. Maybe I'll have a good time at work, meet the rest of the crew. And when I get back, maybe tonight will be fun. Maybe call of toga night will be a sucess. Maybe I wont completely ridicule myself at work by dropping a tray or something. That would be horrible. I think I would cry. I havent ever dropped a tray, I have dropped glasses though...on people...thats not as bad as a whole tray though. Im scared now. i truly have led myself, in the past 30 seconds, to believe that I will drop a whole tray tonight. For like a five top. With fajitas on it....and the fajitas will fall on a baby. Oh my god, i want to call in. I should call in and tell Rick that I think I'm jinxed tonight.
God...I cant call in, its my 5th day. I MUST keep this job. I must start to get stable job wise again. Im so tired of being the new person.....all the time. Its hard, man. Constantly being the new person and trying to adjust because you are constantly changing jobs.
I should have just stayed at pop a lock. I didnt have to look or talk to anyone, just pick up the phone and look at the clock.
But at work...as a server, fuck, the whole job is based on communication. You are the communicator between the customer and the kitchen. And the bar. I dont communicate well. I'm shy and self conscious about myself. Im so riiculously insecure. Like, Im not even capable of looking at the customers in the eyes. What the fuck is worng with me? They are just there to eat....but I feel so much pressure for some reason. I dont know, i think I just need to adjust, I can feel myself adjusting already, I'm just freaking out.
Sigh....Dont know whats wrong with me.
I really think I need some anti depressants. But Im too poor to go and get them prescribed to me. And to buy them. Wow...it costs so much to be happy. Or not miserable.
God, i feel so emo. Like, literally....just emo. So lame. Im really not emo, I'm just a self absorbed human being.....Shit man, I gotta go to work now...at least I feel a little better.
Peace out, mofos.